My grandparents remembered pogroms and must have witnessed atrocities. This essay felt personal to me. Never having seen Fiddler, I didn’t know it was so sad. Thank you for the heart and thought distilled here (your point about Israel, which never occurred to me, makes perfect sense).
Thanks for reading, Rona. I hope one day, you'll see it. A good stage production. I love the movie for sentimental reasons, but it's truly overproduced, even though seeing Topol as Tevye is lovely. xo
Nan- from a literary perspective I loved the graphic descriptions and how you segued seamlessly and kept the movement flowing from one point to the next. One moment we are singing along with you as you play the record over and over in your bedroom . Moments later we are transported to waiting outside the theater and watching as Papa arrives in his blue caddy—cigar firmly clenched between his teeth.
We share your exuberance as the play gets underway and want to join with you in your desire to leap up onto the stage and join the singers and dancers.
Anyone who has ever been to the theater will relate to the seeming deafening sound of the crinkly cellophane as Nanny unwraps her pieces of candy.
From a human perspective you skillfully link the play to Nanny’s personal childhood experience of watching the Cossacks dragging her Zayde to his death in front of the townspeople.
As others have noted in the comments, you have raised one of the imponderables of human nature—Why are the Jews so hated and despised and why can’t people just get along together. This issue first crossed my childhood consciousness as a schoolboy in literature class and Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe was part of our prescribed reading. Your piece brought to mind a question I consideredas a young teenager—Why did people so despise the Jew, Isaac of York. On reflection-my puzzlement starts even earlier than that. In Bible school I was never able to understand what was so significant in the story of The Good Samaritan.
Your vignette takes on a contemporary significance in light of the current tragic events in Gaza.
Sadly, I feel that we are left with the feelings expressed by Anne Frank who still believed in the fundamental goodness of people and wondered why they can’t all live peaceably together.
Thank you for this brave piece. It seems that some of the most hostile vitriol (and violence) is from Zionists toward Jews like us who believe in the full humanity of and humane treatment of all people. "Never again" = for everyone, everywhere. Love you so much.
Thank you, Nome. I've been scared to say anything to anyone but "safe" people (as in, they hold similar views) since it happened on October 7, 2023. I'm not proud of that, but I realized, mostly due to the abundance of things we need to speak out about, that I'd better start talking and writing. Being true to myself and my values is crucially important to me. The other thing? Learning to listen and respect others for their positions, especially when we disagree. That's the only thing that will save humanity. Respect. Laying down our arms whether they are physical weapons, or assaults with words which can do so much harm, is essential. Love you, my sweet friend/sister/cousin! xo
I have to admit that I've done pretty much the same thing. But recently I was moved to write a poem and shared it at a few online open mics. There were some postive responses, a few shocked looks, and one hater who sent a long DM. Sigh.
Thank you for listening (I love when people listen, it's the actor in me!) and for your generous comment. We're all in this together. We can't forget that. xo
Wow! What a powerful piece of work! Your astute observations of humanity, even as a child, are remarkable. This is truly informative and I need to share. ❤️
Thank you, Simone. It's my hope that it's not a pipe dream. I think of the things that will never come and wonder. But if I can hold that hope and act from that place, and other people do the same, maybe there can be change. xo
Nan what an extraordinarily beautiful and thoughtful and important and brave essay. I agree with what you write here, and I appreciate how you framed it with the Fiddler on the Roof musical, so influential in my Jewish childhood too. Thank you for this.💗
Thank you, Amy. This is such a hard topic to come out about. But we all need speak out, from a place of strength and self-awareness. And if someone calls me "anti-semitic" or a "self-hating Jew" for being anti-Zionist, I can stand in my truth, knowing that no one has to agree with me or approve of my perspective. I listen to my conscience. And all of it seems like such a no-brainer for me, but that's not true. It's so nuanced, and such a fraught subject, and I really do understand that. And tradition, is hard to walk away from, but that's one of the primary messages of Fiddler, and it's one of the reasons I appreciate the renewal and reconstructionist movements within Judaism. There's more room to question and to make change in the way we view things and act. Sending love, hope you're feeling much, much better! xo
"When I have to fill out a form that asks for my race, I choose the box labeled “other” and write in “human.” We’re human. We’re equals." This is such a beautiful act, Nan. Such a conscious choice to be an "other", part of the all instead of one of the boxes. I understand the urge to run, and the heartbreak of staying. I hope it won't come to that, but my faith in humankind is all aflutter right now.
I hear you, Jess. Mine is aflutter as well. But I've got to keep on believing that change is possible. Maybe that's my version of Anne Frank's statement. My faith is different than hers, but our hearts are in the same place. Love you, xo.
Really beautiful Nan. I loved the tie between the cigar between Papa’s teeth and the clenched handkerchief between Nanny’s hands.
I agree about the part about Israel being the “bigger” one in the picture however I don’t see them as the oppressor. And I know as a value they value life over death. Unfortunately they are surrounded by those who do not. When a terrorist organization cares for its children more than killing Jews I don’t know what kind of action Israel can take besides being on the defensive. That ended on 10/7, with 59 still being captive with no help from the Red Cross. And I also mourn for all the innocent Palestinians being kept in harm’s way on purpose for their horrible demise too. Both are true.
I adore your spirit and voice. Thanks so much for being brave to share your pride. I stand with you.
I respect you and your take and I wonder how much you've read on this. I just finished reading @Peter Beinart's book Being Jewish after the Destruction of Gaza. Palestinians have been treated as prisoners in their own land for almost 60 years. I don't want to get into that conversation here, but clearly, we don't agree on that. The terrorist organization is not the people of Gaza. Israel has killed over 50,000 people, the majority of which are innocents, civilians. War and murder is not okay. There has to be a major sea change on these issues. Palestinians are not being treated as full citizens, and that's been happening for decades. None of it is okay.
Thanks Nan. I agree with this because we are on the same side in the big picture. That podcast gets to the root of the politics in the region that I found helpful. Read anything by Ben Freeman. Freeman takes his readers – both Jewish and non-Jewish – on a powerful learning journey that explores the impact of Jew-hate on Jews and the long history of internalised anti-Jewishness.
And we don’t live there so we can read and educate all we can yet only empathize and stay open hearted for all human beings. I refuse to be self righteous and allow the Jewish part of me be all that I am. It’s exhausting!
I care about you too and appreciate this very much. Xo
I believe both things are true, Nan. It’s a both/and situation. 1200 slaughtered on 10/7 cannot be out of this discussion. I believe Israel has a right to defend themselves from terrorists and I believe Palestinians should have peoplehood free from their terrorist government. I appreciate the discussion and this is not easy and I’m open to talking sometime about it. We wouldn’t be Jewish if we didn’t disagree, right? ;)
I will look at that book if you will indulge me in listening to this podcast from an Israeli citizen-
It is a both/and sitch, that I'll agree with. If you have something for me to read, I'll be happy to look at it. I don't listen to podcasts because I have an auditory processing disorder. And it's not about indulging you, it's about respecting you. I just read the description of the podcast, and I have to tell you that based on that alone, I would never listen, it feels accusatory and shaming to me. I'm sorry for that. Let's agree to disagree for the time being, I care about you and what you think. There's room for all opinions. There's a difference for me between defending oneself and annihilating people in huge numbers. Israel's "solution" will never fix anything. For every Palestinian they kill, 10 more will be moved to defend themselves, because they have a right to defend themselves too. And then, what we have is never-ending conflict. Sending you love, my friend. xo
Moving and sobering, Nan. I agree that most people are good but that a few are decidedly not. It's hard to fathom how much pain those few can inflict when they are in positions of power. I wish I had more answers, but I'm glad to be asking questions alongside smart, strong, sensitive souls like you.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I wrote this because I was tired of playing it safe and because I feel so strongly about it, and always have. I'm glad you read it. My best to you, always. xo
What a beautiful, powerful piece, my friend. Good for you for having the courage of your convictions (not that I’m surprised). I love you and all my Jewish friends, and feel sick about the hatred that’s become so prevalent. I’m standing right alongside you in this fight.
Thank you, lovey Chris. It's very hard to see what happens day after day. To anticipate being among a crowd of Jewish people (mostly older) on Passover this year, and to read the story of our flight from Egypt, and hear the deadening silence because no one wants to touch on this subject with a 10 foot pole. So many of us are being timid about it, and my Jewish community, the synagogue I've been a member of on and off over 30 years, has invited author Peter Beinart to come speak with us about Gaza/Israel and his principled and moral take on the situation there. I can't wait to hear him, he's so intelligent and inspiring. Miracles ARE possible if we allow them to happen. We need to get out of the way, and let our better selves take the wheel. Love to you, Chris. XO
Yes. Never again. To break the cycle, I believe we have to stop repeating the same mistakes, and of course, this doesn't apply to just Israel and Jewish sensibilities and values, this applies to the whole human race. Will we get there? Doubtful, but that's where I'm putting my energy, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. xo
“I won’t waste a talent by being silent!” Thank you for all of this: the broadway show, analysis of Israel, and another glimpse of your fierce heart.
Thank you, Debra! I appreciate your comment, especially about my fierce heart. What a lovely thing to reflect back to me. xo
Choosing the "other" box and writing in human. Beautiful. I'm stealing that.
Please, feel free. I love that. xo
My grandparents remembered pogroms and must have witnessed atrocities. This essay felt personal to me. Never having seen Fiddler, I didn’t know it was so sad. Thank you for the heart and thought distilled here (your point about Israel, which never occurred to me, makes perfect sense).
Thanks for reading, Rona. I hope one day, you'll see it. A good stage production. I love the movie for sentimental reasons, but it's truly overproduced, even though seeing Topol as Tevye is lovely. xo
Nan- from a literary perspective I loved the graphic descriptions and how you segued seamlessly and kept the movement flowing from one point to the next. One moment we are singing along with you as you play the record over and over in your bedroom . Moments later we are transported to waiting outside the theater and watching as Papa arrives in his blue caddy—cigar firmly clenched between his teeth.
We share your exuberance as the play gets underway and want to join with you in your desire to leap up onto the stage and join the singers and dancers.
Anyone who has ever been to the theater will relate to the seeming deafening sound of the crinkly cellophane as Nanny unwraps her pieces of candy.
From a human perspective you skillfully link the play to Nanny’s personal childhood experience of watching the Cossacks dragging her Zayde to his death in front of the townspeople.
As others have noted in the comments, you have raised one of the imponderables of human nature—Why are the Jews so hated and despised and why can’t people just get along together. This issue first crossed my childhood consciousness as a schoolboy in literature class and Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe was part of our prescribed reading. Your piece brought to mind a question I consideredas a young teenager—Why did people so despise the Jew, Isaac of York. On reflection-my puzzlement starts even earlier than that. In Bible school I was never able to understand what was so significant in the story of The Good Samaritan.
Your vignette takes on a contemporary significance in light of the current tragic events in Gaza.
Sadly, I feel that we are left with the feelings expressed by Anne Frank who still believed in the fundamental goodness of people and wondered why they can’t all live peaceably together.
Beautiful.
Thank you, Joy. xo
Thank you for this brave piece. It seems that some of the most hostile vitriol (and violence) is from Zionists toward Jews like us who believe in the full humanity of and humane treatment of all people. "Never again" = for everyone, everywhere. Love you so much.
Thank you, Nome. I've been scared to say anything to anyone but "safe" people (as in, they hold similar views) since it happened on October 7, 2023. I'm not proud of that, but I realized, mostly due to the abundance of things we need to speak out about, that I'd better start talking and writing. Being true to myself and my values is crucially important to me. The other thing? Learning to listen and respect others for their positions, especially when we disagree. That's the only thing that will save humanity. Respect. Laying down our arms whether they are physical weapons, or assaults with words which can do so much harm, is essential. Love you, my sweet friend/sister/cousin! xo
I have to admit that I've done pretty much the same thing. But recently I was moved to write a poem and shared it at a few online open mics. There were some postive responses, a few shocked looks, and one hater who sent a long DM. Sigh.
Sorry about the DM, proud of you for writing about it. xo
I don’t have the words to truly thank you for this.
And for reading it with your passionate beautiful voice.
Thank you for leading with your voice and humanhood.
Thank you for listening (I love when people listen, it's the actor in me!) and for your generous comment. We're all in this together. We can't forget that. xo
Wow! What a powerful piece of work! Your astute observations of humanity, even as a child, are remarkable. This is truly informative and I need to share. ❤️
Thanks, Annie. And thank you for sharing it, too. xo
Hi Nan, beautiful and brave. One day humanity will be able to celebrate its diversity through our similarity. 🙏😊❤️
Thank you, Simone. It's my hope that it's not a pipe dream. I think of the things that will never come and wonder. But if I can hold that hope and act from that place, and other people do the same, maybe there can be change. xo
I think we can 🙏 💜
I appreciate that spirit! I'm with you. xo
Nan what an extraordinarily beautiful and thoughtful and important and brave essay. I agree with what you write here, and I appreciate how you framed it with the Fiddler on the Roof musical, so influential in my Jewish childhood too. Thank you for this.💗
Thank you, Amy. This is such a hard topic to come out about. But we all need speak out, from a place of strength and self-awareness. And if someone calls me "anti-semitic" or a "self-hating Jew" for being anti-Zionist, I can stand in my truth, knowing that no one has to agree with me or approve of my perspective. I listen to my conscience. And all of it seems like such a no-brainer for me, but that's not true. It's so nuanced, and such a fraught subject, and I really do understand that. And tradition, is hard to walk away from, but that's one of the primary messages of Fiddler, and it's one of the reasons I appreciate the renewal and reconstructionist movements within Judaism. There's more room to question and to make change in the way we view things and act. Sending love, hope you're feeling much, much better! xo
"When I have to fill out a form that asks for my race, I choose the box labeled “other” and write in “human.” We’re human. We’re equals." This is such a beautiful act, Nan. Such a conscious choice to be an "other", part of the all instead of one of the boxes. I understand the urge to run, and the heartbreak of staying. I hope it won't come to that, but my faith in humankind is all aflutter right now.
I hear you, Jess. Mine is aflutter as well. But I've got to keep on believing that change is possible. Maybe that's my version of Anne Frank's statement. My faith is different than hers, but our hearts are in the same place. Love you, xo.
Really beautiful Nan. I loved the tie between the cigar between Papa’s teeth and the clenched handkerchief between Nanny’s hands.
I agree about the part about Israel being the “bigger” one in the picture however I don’t see them as the oppressor. And I know as a value they value life over death. Unfortunately they are surrounded by those who do not. When a terrorist organization cares for its children more than killing Jews I don’t know what kind of action Israel can take besides being on the defensive. That ended on 10/7, with 59 still being captive with no help from the Red Cross. And I also mourn for all the innocent Palestinians being kept in harm’s way on purpose for their horrible demise too. Both are true.
I adore your spirit and voice. Thanks so much for being brave to share your pride. I stand with you.
I respect you and your take and I wonder how much you've read on this. I just finished reading @Peter Beinart's book Being Jewish after the Destruction of Gaza. Palestinians have been treated as prisoners in their own land for almost 60 years. I don't want to get into that conversation here, but clearly, we don't agree on that. The terrorist organization is not the people of Gaza. Israel has killed over 50,000 people, the majority of which are innocents, civilians. War and murder is not okay. There has to be a major sea change on these issues. Palestinians are not being treated as full citizens, and that's been happening for decades. None of it is okay.
Thanks Nan. I agree with this because we are on the same side in the big picture. That podcast gets to the root of the politics in the region that I found helpful. Read anything by Ben Freeman. Freeman takes his readers – both Jewish and non-Jewish – on a powerful learning journey that explores the impact of Jew-hate on Jews and the long history of internalised anti-Jewishness.
And we don’t live there so we can read and educate all we can yet only empathize and stay open hearted for all human beings. I refuse to be self righteous and allow the Jewish part of me be all that I am. It’s exhausting!
I care about you too and appreciate this very much. Xo
Thanks for the info, Shelley. I'll look him up and read him. See you soon! xo
I believe both things are true, Nan. It’s a both/and situation. 1200 slaughtered on 10/7 cannot be out of this discussion. I believe Israel has a right to defend themselves from terrorists and I believe Palestinians should have peoplehood free from their terrorist government. I appreciate the discussion and this is not easy and I’m open to talking sometime about it. We wouldn’t be Jewish if we didn’t disagree, right? ;)
I will look at that book if you will indulge me in listening to this podcast from an Israeli citizen-
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-should-all-be-zionists-podcast/id1698319255?i=1000703504964
It is a both/and sitch, that I'll agree with. If you have something for me to read, I'll be happy to look at it. I don't listen to podcasts because I have an auditory processing disorder. And it's not about indulging you, it's about respecting you. I just read the description of the podcast, and I have to tell you that based on that alone, I would never listen, it feels accusatory and shaming to me. I'm sorry for that. Let's agree to disagree for the time being, I care about you and what you think. There's room for all opinions. There's a difference for me between defending oneself and annihilating people in huge numbers. Israel's "solution" will never fix anything. For every Palestinian they kill, 10 more will be moved to defend themselves, because they have a right to defend themselves too. And then, what we have is never-ending conflict. Sending you love, my friend. xo
Moving and sobering, Nan. I agree that most people are good but that a few are decidedly not. It's hard to fathom how much pain those few can inflict when they are in positions of power. I wish I had more answers, but I'm glad to be asking questions alongside smart, strong, sensitive souls like you.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I wrote this because I was tired of playing it safe and because I feel so strongly about it, and always have. I'm glad you read it. My best to you, always. xo
What a beautiful, powerful piece, my friend. Good for you for having the courage of your convictions (not that I’m surprised). I love you and all my Jewish friends, and feel sick about the hatred that’s become so prevalent. I’m standing right alongside you in this fight.
Thank you, lovey Chris. It's very hard to see what happens day after day. To anticipate being among a crowd of Jewish people (mostly older) on Passover this year, and to read the story of our flight from Egypt, and hear the deadening silence because no one wants to touch on this subject with a 10 foot pole. So many of us are being timid about it, and my Jewish community, the synagogue I've been a member of on and off over 30 years, has invited author Peter Beinart to come speak with us about Gaza/Israel and his principled and moral take on the situation there. I can't wait to hear him, he's so intelligent and inspiring. Miracles ARE possible if we allow them to happen. We need to get out of the way, and let our better selves take the wheel. Love to you, Chris. XO
I was obsessed with the holocaust, the images of the living remains. And the Warsaw Ghetto. I fantasized about being a fighter in the sewers.
Never again. Remember.
Powerful my friend.
p.s. I think my first Broadway play was Peter Pan and oh how I wanted to fly!
Yes. Never again. To break the cycle, I believe we have to stop repeating the same mistakes, and of course, this doesn't apply to just Israel and Jewish sensibilities and values, this applies to the whole human race. Will we get there? Doubtful, but that's where I'm putting my energy, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. xo
Yes, Nan Tepper! This! So powerfully and exquisitely rendered.
Thank you so much, Kelly! xo