43 Comments
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Marilea C. Rabasa's avatar

Well, happiness boils down to this, doesn't it? Finding out where we can find joy and going after it. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. We learn how to get back on the horse and become resilient. You're an inspiration, Nan. Keep singing!

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

I love you, Nan Tepper!

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Nan Tepper's avatar

And I love you right back, Paulette Bodeman! xo

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Kim Van Bruggen's avatar

Yay! Story time with Nan. You ARE my sister from another mister!

(Today we had breakfast together. Seeing your gorgeous face and hearing your voice, always makes me smile.) Love Funny Girl, all things Barbra. And YOU! xo

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Nan Tepper's avatar

LOVE you, Kim. You're so good for my morale... xo

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Mesa Fama's avatar

You are one of my sheroes, Nan! I love your singing voice and your YOU voice. I love your storytelling and am so glad you took the leap and began writing so that we could all find you!! Big hugs to you friend. Love love love you!! Xoxo

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Nan Tepper's avatar

I'm kvelling, here. Love you, sweetheart. Shero-ing all over you, too. So glad to be found. xo

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Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

I love this story! So great, Nan. And I'm sooooo happy for you. Your joy shines through your writing and your delivery. It's such a balm to see someone radiate joy even as we are collectively faced with such trouble. You uplift us all with that twinkle in your eye. I love the way you structure the whole story around the song, which lives in my audio cortex. I remember loving it when the movie came out, and singing it for myself, the way you describe. It was the defiance, the insistence on being happy, that I channeled my heart into. I'll sing it with you. I'm glad you are telling your stories of liberation. Joy is contagious. I love my life, too—precious, precious life.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Oh, wow. It's beautiful to be seen and embraced by the people I value so much. This whole experience on the platform has given me so much. My new wonderful family of friends daily makes me a better human. I'm so grateful for you. xo

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Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

I’m grateful for you, too. Immeasurably so.

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Wendy Wolf's avatar

"My voice is clear." It sure is. (And I liked your singing, too.) Eileen nailed it...superhero origin story. I read this and think of past you looking around at everyone else who seemed so confident. I've done this, too...for so, so long. I know now that they were (are!) scared, too. But you communicate it so brilliantly. (Cute new 'do, too.) x

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Wendy! Yeah. What a life. I'm grabbing for all of it now, in a far different way. And thanks about my haircut. That's the real me. Love it and wish it always looked like that...lots of haircuts. xo

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Wendy Wolf's avatar

Mine’s gotten unruly. It always looks cutest just before a haircut, but drives me crazy, so it must be done. If we’re lucky (and maybe luck has nothing at all to do with it) we keep learning and growing. I might trade my body for younger me, but I’d never trade what’s inside. It was hard-earned. And I know yours was, too.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Damn right, sister. I wouldn't want to go back, for anything, I don't think. even my body. I'm staying in the present because the past isn't real. Neither is the future. I'm good with that! And yes, people start complimenting my hair right when I'm thinking I can't stand it anymore. It gets a little confusing. xo

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Wendy Wolf's avatar

I read a book called You are a Badass by Jen Sincero, and one of the exercises has stuck with me. I think it was called “be an alien.” In it, you imagine that you are an alien inhabiting this body, and this life. Look around—what do you see and feel? What can you do with that? For me, it was just a perspective shift of possibility.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

That's cool. I started reading and doing the lessons in a A Course in Miracles. As far as I can tell so far, it's about non-attachment and love. I'm intrigued by it. It's about a major perspective shift.

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Wendy Wolf's avatar

I remember starting A Course in Miracles ages ago. I don’t think I got very far. Wonder if it would resonate now? Glad you’re getting something good out of it. I kind of think we respond to things when it suits a want or need now (and maybe when we’re ready for it, too).

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Leslie Rasmussen's avatar

Such a wonderful essay, You've got me singing along and waving you on.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Leslie! It's hard not to sing, isn't it? xo

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Jess Greenwood's avatar

You singing with love for your own one beautiful life has quite literally made my day. May we all find our voice with that much gusto.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, Jess. I'm reveling in having the life I've always wanted. I had to get out of the way to make it happen and let go of negative core beliefs that weren't true. Talk about liberation. I feel so blessed. xo

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Cathy Joseph's avatar

A voice is a terrible thing to loose - been there, done that. I am so happy you found yours, Nan! I especially love the statement that you are “basking in the glow of possibility” - what a powerful place to be! ❣️

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Cathy! You're so reliably positive. I love that about you. xo

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Eileen Dougharty's avatar

Your love of writing inspires me daily, especially when I see that kid in you going down the water slide;) what a glorious account of finding your purpose, your passion, and yourself ❤️

ps those Fanny B dividers are CHEF’S 💋💋💋💋💋

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, lovey! I'm living the best life ever. I never imagined what was possible. And I'm so grateful that I didn't give up on myself. xo

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Rhaine Della Bosca's avatar

I love this Nan! Very inspiring 💜

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Rhaine! xo

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Jennifer Silva Redmond's avatar

Congratulations on being in love with you. Funny enough, I've been listening to Babs narrate her audiobook. Her writing is not great but she's fascinating, and listening to her is so addictive. Plus there are song excerpts!

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Jennifer. As much as I adore Babs, and I DO (president of one of her East Coast fan clubs––I'm the only dues-paying member), I'm not sure I can do 900+ pages of her. Especially if the writing isn't great. I'll just keep listening to Funny Girl, On A Clear Day, Yentl, and watching the clips of her singing with Judy Garland on Garland's 1960s TV show. And oh, her comedy, her timing! So talented. Truly a diva icon with a VOICE! xo

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Naomi Bindman's avatar

This: "The voice I speak of was the voice of agency, daring, and vulnerability. ... The dream was brewing in the ground of my being. It just needed more time to lay down roots and stretch toward the sun." Gorgeous.

(P.S. I disagree about your singing voice.)

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Nome. I'm proud of those sentences! And thanks about my singing voice. I guess my problem with it, is I'm not consistent when it comes to hanging on to the key I sing in, and I'm worse when I sing with others! Very impressionable. But you know I love to sing. Adore you. Let's talk soon, my dear. xo

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Naomi Bindman's avatar

That's different than a bad voice which you pretend to have. That's just about practice and ear training. And singing acapella is a whole different (slippery, snarly) animal than singing with accompaniment! Much harder to stay in key without the grounding of an instrument. I've heard you sing. You have a beautiful voice--sung and on the page. And yes, I'd love to talk soon! 😘

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you. I really do love singing. I'm usually much better at it when I'm alone. Maybe I'll start taking voice lessons again. For the brief time that I did it, I loved it so. There's nothing that compares to that feeling of belting out a wonderful show tune! xo

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Mor Pipman's avatar

Love your voice, Nankins!

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, lovey! Sending you a big hug. I miss you. xo

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Carla Boucher's avatar

I'm so glad that you didn't let them rain on your parade. I love your writing. Keep on marching and singing in the parade. 💕

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Carla. I think I was the only one raining on my parade. No one else was telling me I couldn't. That was me, after all. xo

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Andrea Stoeckel's avatar

As my marriage ended I discovered my voice had returned. I had had some kind of episode where my diaphragm stopped allowing me to project my voice - not a good thing when you preach for a living. My ex was kind of jealous around my singing voice as well. As I began to heal from the divorce I began to sing again and have rejoined the SGLC chorus here in town. Gave me a push to start getting back out there at 69.

Anyoican sing Nan - keep on keeping on

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you for the encouragement, Andrea. I LOVE singing. I was making fun of myself a bit for the sake of humor, and to make a distinction between Barbra's pipes and mine. I took some voice classes a few years ago, and it was sheer heaven. And my teacher said I was actually good at it, but I have trouble staying on key. Yes, thank you for that. Maybe that'll be the next fantasy/dream fulfilled. To be able to sing something close to my heart for a roomful of people who love the old torch songs, as I do, or some upbeat fabulous show tune! xo

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