81 Comments
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Victoria's avatar

Thank you, Nan. I knew I was right to 'save-to-savour folder' this one, just like I do with Mary's pieces. ;-) This way, I can also read everyone's loving comments. There were so many 'awwws!' for me.

That last paragraph—those last words—needs to be an Etsy Print Manifesto for every woman!! And aww, the photo collage—thanks for sharing!

I'm reflecting on your words in a slightly different way.

- I've been self-advocating, protecting and pushing myself since the time I was the only Chinese kid in our small local school (a few unkind stories I'm surprised at how fierce I was back then!),

- like most Asian kids, my Dad, bless him, pushed me to be independent and 'successful' (even more stories).

SO, I had to learn how to redefine 'success' away from the upward climb to something that felt right for me, including what I love myself FOR and give myself more permission/ compassionate love for Me NOW, especially in Our Now, now! Does that make sense?!?

Nan Tepper's avatar

Oh, my dear. Thanks for these very kind comments. AND YES! It makes total sense. The sensibility is the same, though, isn't it. We are learning/have learned to love ourselves and honor our truth. Nothing better, especially in Our Now, now! xo

Victoria's avatar

Exactly Nan, i knew you’d ‘get’ what I meant. The ‘honour our truth’, YES

Sheila's avatar

Oh what an ending 😭😭😍😍😍

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Sheila!

According to Mimi's avatar

You share emotional DNA with so many women. Please write a book about this journey.

Nan Tepper's avatar

There may be a book one day, but I have to say a major thank you for your very kind comment. I'm working on a memoir about my relationship with my dad. I have to tell you that I don't feel the need to have a book, because I'm able to share myself here, with so many people. Who knows? I might just do it! xo

According to Mimi's avatar

Your writing style connects the reader to what you are saying, which is a hard hill to climb in the writing world. I would read your books, for sure!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you! Never know what the future will bring. xo

Mary Roblyn's avatar

Whoa, Nan. Another “this is my life” story. I could be your doppelgänger. Maybe I am. I do find myself succumbing to the self-loathing reflex, way too often. (Yesterday, most of the day.) It’s a struggle. But I’m in a much better place now than I’ve ever been. I’m so happy you’ve found the love of your life. And I’ve found mine, though she sometimes loses her way. xoxo

Nan Tepper's avatar

A Minnesotan Nan? Or am I a New York Mary? Either way, it's nice to have a pal who gets it. You're soaring, Mary. It's wonderful watching you retrieve your passion and your art.

LOVE you! xo

Victoria's avatar

Awwww 😍

Mary Roblyn's avatar

Soaring together. Welcome to Flyover Land. It’s not so bad. xoxo

Nan Tepper's avatar

Yes. Soaring together. Thanks for that, I truly am.

xo

Ofifoto's avatar

"I’m letting the compliments in, though it’s still uncomfortable at times."

This is a skill that can challenge even the most self-confident person, so this sentence is your growth in a nutshell. *So* many people look for outward validation of happiness, but the only person responsible for my happiness is me. Another wonderful essay, Nan.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you so much, my dear friend. I appreciate you and your support. xo

Wendy Wolf's avatar

I got 3/4 of the way through this and started to wonder, when does she meet her person? Then it dawned on me: OHHHHHHH. There's a meme I put on a calendar that said: "I woke up this morning with a 10 in my bed. It was me. I am the 10." It's been a journey for me, too. It's nice, isn't it, to think we're amazing humans? (We are right.)

Bar Scott's avatar

Love this. So glad you love you. I do too. Thank you.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Bar! And I love you. xo

Leslie Senevey's avatar

The love of your life should be you. So glad you're finally getting to know her.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Exactly! Me, too, really glad. xo

Lila Sterling's avatar

Well written Nan. I think you speak for so many of us. 💗

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Lila! How are you??? xo

Lila Sterling's avatar

Hi Nan! I’m doing well. Been in the throes of a move…again. Lots of work but I’m so excited to be in my own place.

And how have you been overall?

Molly Booker's avatar

I signed up for the zoom course…did it go through?? I didn’t receive an email confirmation so I’m thinking maybe I missed something?? Ack…help!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Molly? If you are Molly, than I've got you! And I'm sorry about no email confirmation. There should have been one. I'll check into it. Feel free to DM me here, if you have any questions. I'm excited to know you'll be joining me. I'll be sending out a questionnaire in the next few weeks to everyone who's registered. I'll want to know about your hopes and dreams (and some more practical matters) for your Substack! xo

Molly Booker's avatar

Yes! That’s me. Great, I’m excited!!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Me, too! That’ll be so much fun, having you in the class. Looking forward to it. Start making some notes about things you’d like to learn, if you like.

Alice Tenuto's avatar

Of all the things sent to me these days, I never miss reading your posts. Your writing is so clear and relatable causing me to look deeper into the dark caverns of myself. Thank you for sharing your truths.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Alice, thank you for letting me know. That's the greatest gift I could receive. Love to you. xo

Cara Holland's avatar

Your writing is so good.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you! How kind of you, Cara. xo

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Can't think of a better soulmate! Acknowledging the work you've done, Nan, and where it's taken / taking you! That collage at the end...? Omigosh, you are radiant!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, Elizabeth! I feel radiant these days. It’s so sweet to be in this place. I appreciate you and your comments so much. xo

Marilea C. Rabasa's avatar

So, so hard. But how else can we love another with authenticity and integrity? All your hard work has paid off. Yay!

Nan Tepper's avatar

XOXOXOX! Love to you, and yes to the YAY!

Chris Stanton's avatar

Absolutely lovely, Nan!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Chris! And you're absolutely lovely, too! xo

Barbara McKenzie's avatar

You are so lucky to have met your true love. Although, it isn't luck. You've worked hard to get to know and love her. I am crazy about her too. And that her is you

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, my darling friend. I love you very much. xo