A truly beautiful response Nan, all of it and especially your last line, ‘made stronger by …. ongoing commitment to grow’.
I felt a contraction when I saw you’d written that you felt, a bit invalidated … even a bit, is too much and was not my intention at all. My life’s work has been about validation & empowerment thru solidarity.
I wrote quickly and out of a moment of passion; having decided last night that now is the time to re-visit my anger that is making itself known… not for the first time in the last several decades. Thru joyful synchronicity ~ your work appeared on my phone, and I projected an immense expectation on to your very humble reflective process.
I won’t try to explain areas where my words did not greet you with clarity ~ but will say with profound sorrow that it was not meant to diminish… rather to mirror back to you your greatness and say that in the nuanced sound of your voice, there is even more to be amplified …even more than you know.
Thank you, Annie. I want you to know that I met your comment with curiosity and not defensiveness, as I would have just a couple of years ago, before I started doing the spiritual work I've needed to do for so long. The word "disappointed" would have sent me into a tailspin, because I was taught never to disappoint anyone, and all that did was bring me a world of pain and confusion. I'm learning to communicate, even through my discomfort, challenging myself (at times) to open to others and listen, without jumping to conclusions rooted in my sometimes unhealthy core beliefs. Thank you for this reply. Learning to be in conversation with others in an authentic way is the path that I'm committed to staying on. I trip on bumps along the way, but becoming more nimble at letting my true self shine. Thanks for being a part of it. xo
Soo disappointed I thought you were going to offer something new on resonant anger expressing truth in love 🌹💔The tone of your voice when saying you were going to try very hard to love the “Jackasses” … softened .. and when you asked yourself what have you become…? I wanted to shout (that’s what I’m doing in this comment- working on my ability to stay, sound and be strong - not soften into the … ‘I’m nice really not scary at all .. I promise to try and love the Jackasses’. Speak with your loving strength and power ..please we need to hear each other. I need to hear others. I feel the slight discomfort now I am speaking with clarity - that’s ok … although my friendship group is getting less close.
Question to myself and possibly you; If I have to make myself smaller ( I’m already petite ! ) to keep my friends … hmmm do I need to say more.
Thanks for your video made me feel I could complain genuinely and it would t make you an enemy❣️
🤍🩶🖤
Love thug is good - I am going to borrow that phrase but keep its power - !
Thank you for your comment, Annie. It won't make me an enemy, though, I'm not really clear where or how my words fell short for you. Love Thug is good, and the power is there. I feel a bit invalidated, but your "but." I am not smaller because of my choices, I'm made stronger by my ongoing commitment to grow.
Ohhhh Nan!!!! I am so glad I listened to I’m in the Mood for Love! I so identified - I wrote a similar rant the other day and then thought I need to write a love letter instead! I think it may be fair to say our Universe is sending out a message to we humans! Love is a powerful 4-letter word that nearly has a 4-letter word status if you get my drift- which as a Love Thug I am certain you do! Thank you for showing up!
I love this comment. I'm so glad that you get it. It's a newish frame of mind for me, but I know this is the way. I had to face fear. No, I had to face all the fears, and realized that fear is the thing that keeps me from loving more fully. And now, I say whenever that feeling arises, "Thank you, fear. What would you like me know?" And when I get to the bottom of it, I'm left with, "Thank you so much for wanting to keep me safe. I've got this. You're safe. And now, fear, get behind me. I'll handle it from here." Anyone need a hug? xo
I totally get it. The vulnerability of humans is stoking fear. The current trend of stoking fear of ‘other’ is the most heinous thing for politicians to do. For when one recognizes we are each and all unique- well then we are also all an ‘other’. The antidote is accepting and allowing us each to be authentic in our own expressions. This power of authenticity is another fear point for power. For when we wake up to the fact we are sovereign beings - we are no longer amenable to false authority. So we love - we face our own fears as you so beautiful described in you comment above and we surrender to the power of love! ☮️
I'm so happy you get it. The manipulation and othering happening now is very easy to succumb to. And that's what these "politicians" are betting on. Instilling fear promotes obedience, silence, submission. Not for me, though. We've seen this happen throughout history. I'm going to go down fighting. My type of fight doesn't include the power of weapons. I'm going to use the power of love. Even when fear pops up and waves it's arms at me and says, "Run, run!" xo
Oh. MY. Thank you for that insanely generous compliment, Mimi. PS. I don't think you're insane, but I still think I'm old. At least by training bra timeline...that was 53 years ago...but just you know, I'm not unhappy about being old or calling myself old. It's a fucking victory to be here (alive) and happier than I've ever been. I'm celebrating old. And when I'm older, I'll celebrate that too. Sending you a big squooshy hug. xo
I hear you! I was remarking just the other day that with recovery, came my practice of saying "I love my life" every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep. I never in a million years thought I'd feel that way. Which song? xo
When I retired as dean, I did a dramatic reading of this song to my division. Some thought I was crazy. Some snapped their fingers like I was a beat poet.
You can always choose love, I can always choose love. We can always choose love and still be very fucking angry about many things.
Love is what allows us to channel, funnel, and burn that anger into fear love. I know this fire well and if I didn’t do so, I would be long dead by now and dangerous, and not a good way.
Instead, I’m dangerous and the best way and growing more dangerous every day.
Beautiful post and I absolutely adore how you call people matron
Thanks, Rhaine! I was looking at all my tats yesterday, and asked myself if I regretted any of them. The answer came back a resounding NO. I love my ink, and am planning on more...maybe! I'll text you later. xo
There are times I've felt utterly naive to be leaning into love, times people I respect so much have reacted in ways that said, "You're foolish to think we can win anything without fighting fire with fire." I'm still trying to figure out how to be with that, how to channel the MLKjrs of the world. Thanks for this pep talk, Nan!
You and me babe...for the world, not against it! Funny that you mentioned MLKjr. I just made a graphic to post in notes tomorrow of one of his quotes. Are you back from your trip? xo
Damn, it's hard not to get angry--and stay angry--when rage and retribution flame all around. Your ex-girlfriend left you with a powerful thought that's putting out green shoots in this piece. It's uplifting to share this green corner of Stackland with you.
Yeah, I guess I'm a love thug. Though the hippy era of the 60's from which I sprung wouldn't use the word thug. They'd say it's too dark, too hostile, too scary, too threatening, too ANGRY. Which is pure bullshit, cuz they felt all those feelings and more. That's why they needed to get high 24/7.
What I love about us, Nan, is that we say the quiet part out loud without needing to immerse our minds in chemicals and flit through life, dancing like Isadora Duncan. We grapple, we engage, we do what we can but don't let it blind us to the beauty of a sunset.
Lovely rant from one thug to another! I'm not sure I can decide for 60s hippies why they got high, or generalize for them. Some people got high to have transcendent spiritual experiences and did. And maybe at the time, they were doing the best they could. Chemicals sometimes yield positive results when they're not abused or tamping down feelings. xo
You make a valid point, Nan. That's what happens when I rant: I fail to see the other side of a debate. I agree that many of the hippie generation just wanted the transcendental experience you refer to. They weren't necessarily angry or even aware (ha!ha!) of the shit going on around them!
Thank you for receiving my feedback with grace. I said something not just because of what you said, but because that rant behavior is something I'm quite skilled at. The difference for me between seeing in black and white or seeing in color. There are so many possibilities in life, and I'm trying to release the need to be judge and jury, especially in situations that are truly none of my business. But ranting sure is fun! xo
Love. Love. Love. ... I was thinking, after our dinner the other night, about how Substacklandia has given you such a wonderful community while you can still remain happy and comfortable at home. xoxo
I've been reassessing what I write, too. What I want to immerse myself in. It is wearying. Sometimes, the expression of rage (and sadness) makes me feel worse. And it's not all about my feelings--sometimes, the rage sparks a message I think is important. But those missions overlap. And love always makes me feel better when I give it room to grow.
Finally I've become a subscriber! I love the video format - it's delightful to hear your voice and see your shana punim. Love yoir entire being 💛. Susan in Denali aka Sallyfish
I LOVE YOU!!!! And thank you. When I saw "Sallyfish" I knew it was you, sweet Susan. I'm glad you enjoyed the video. I want to do it more. I'm loving it. Big hugs, my dear. xo
You go, Nan. Love and anger. Anger as a source of fuel. Change comes from a place of creativity. Love it. Keep at it. You encourage all of us to keep at it.
Thank you, Stewart. We have to do this. I don't have any other ways to go about life right now that are better. I've been so freaked on and off that my mind has even wandered into the terrain of whether or not I should own a gun. That is NOT an acceptable choice and I'm horrified that the thought even occurred to me. Love is the only way I can see dealing with the current shit show. It's MUCH harder than anger and violence in some ways, because it means learning tolerance and respect for differing opinions (to say the least). Saw that you and I are meeting for a design tete a tete, next week. Looking forward to talking with you again. xo
Nan, I'm totally with you in this love land called Substackia, or whatever we want to call it. A platform of writers is a dream come true for me and, I'm sure, for other writers. Rage too often depletes us, and we need to embrace the kinder, gentler love force.
Isn't it a dream come true? I do love it. And yes, rage is very depleting and we can learn to channel our anger in ways that can be healthy. If we keep doing the same things that don't work, it'll never get better. xo
Nan Tepper
A truly beautiful response Nan, all of it and especially your last line, ‘made stronger by …. ongoing commitment to grow’.
I felt a contraction when I saw you’d written that you felt, a bit invalidated … even a bit, is too much and was not my intention at all. My life’s work has been about validation & empowerment thru solidarity.
I wrote quickly and out of a moment of passion; having decided last night that now is the time to re-visit my anger that is making itself known… not for the first time in the last several decades. Thru joyful synchronicity ~ your work appeared on my phone, and I projected an immense expectation on to your very humble reflective process.
I won’t try to explain areas where my words did not greet you with clarity ~ but will say with profound sorrow that it was not meant to diminish… rather to mirror back to you your greatness and say that in the nuanced sound of your voice, there is even more to be amplified …even more than you know.
Annie 💜
Thank you, Annie. I want you to know that I met your comment with curiosity and not defensiveness, as I would have just a couple of years ago, before I started doing the spiritual work I've needed to do for so long. The word "disappointed" would have sent me into a tailspin, because I was taught never to disappoint anyone, and all that did was bring me a world of pain and confusion. I'm learning to communicate, even through my discomfort, challenging myself (at times) to open to others and listen, without jumping to conclusions rooted in my sometimes unhealthy core beliefs. Thank you for this reply. Learning to be in conversation with others in an authentic way is the path that I'm committed to staying on. I trip on bumps along the way, but becoming more nimble at letting my true self shine. Thanks for being a part of it. xo
First time here looking at my anger.
Soo disappointed I thought you were going to offer something new on resonant anger expressing truth in love 🌹💔The tone of your voice when saying you were going to try very hard to love the “Jackasses” … softened .. and when you asked yourself what have you become…? I wanted to shout (that’s what I’m doing in this comment- working on my ability to stay, sound and be strong - not soften into the … ‘I’m nice really not scary at all .. I promise to try and love the Jackasses’. Speak with your loving strength and power ..please we need to hear each other. I need to hear others. I feel the slight discomfort now I am speaking with clarity - that’s ok … although my friendship group is getting less close.
Question to myself and possibly you; If I have to make myself smaller ( I’m already petite ! ) to keep my friends … hmmm do I need to say more.
Thanks for your video made me feel I could complain genuinely and it would t make you an enemy❣️
🤍🩶🖤
Love thug is good - I am going to borrow that phrase but keep its power - !
Thank you for your comment, Annie. It won't make me an enemy, though, I'm not really clear where or how my words fell short for you. Love Thug is good, and the power is there. I feel a bit invalidated, but your "but." I am not smaller because of my choices, I'm made stronger by my ongoing commitment to grow.
Ohhhh Nan!!!! I am so glad I listened to I’m in the Mood for Love! I so identified - I wrote a similar rant the other day and then thought I need to write a love letter instead! I think it may be fair to say our Universe is sending out a message to we humans! Love is a powerful 4-letter word that nearly has a 4-letter word status if you get my drift- which as a Love Thug I am certain you do! Thank you for showing up!
I love this comment. I'm so glad that you get it. It's a newish frame of mind for me, but I know this is the way. I had to face fear. No, I had to face all the fears, and realized that fear is the thing that keeps me from loving more fully. And now, I say whenever that feeling arises, "Thank you, fear. What would you like me know?" And when I get to the bottom of it, I'm left with, "Thank you so much for wanting to keep me safe. I've got this. You're safe. And now, fear, get behind me. I'll handle it from here." Anyone need a hug? xo
I totally get it. The vulnerability of humans is stoking fear. The current trend of stoking fear of ‘other’ is the most heinous thing for politicians to do. For when one recognizes we are each and all unique- well then we are also all an ‘other’. The antidote is accepting and allowing us each to be authentic in our own expressions. This power of authenticity is another fear point for power. For when we wake up to the fact we are sovereign beings - we are no longer amenable to false authority. So we love - we face our own fears as you so beautiful described in you comment above and we surrender to the power of love! ☮️
I'm so happy you get it. The manipulation and othering happening now is very easy to succumb to. And that's what these "politicians" are betting on. Instilling fear promotes obedience, silence, submission. Not for me, though. We've seen this happen throughout history. I'm going to go down fighting. My type of fight doesn't include the power of weapons. I'm going to use the power of love. Even when fear pops up and waves it's arms at me and says, "Run, run!" xo
We are in this together 🫶🏽
Nan the love thug!! 😍 this is so great you are amazing!!
Ha! Thanks, Lyns! xo
#lovethug
You are just a genius.
P.S. You are not old, friend!
Oh. MY. Thank you for that insanely generous compliment, Mimi. PS. I don't think you're insane, but I still think I'm old. At least by training bra timeline...that was 53 years ago...but just you know, I'm not unhappy about being old or calling myself old. It's a fucking victory to be here (alive) and happier than I've ever been. I'm celebrating old. And when I'm older, I'll celebrate that too. Sending you a big squooshy hug. xo
Sending you a hug back. I'm a year older than you, and it is a happy morning when I wake up and take that first breath.
For some reason, I'm hearing Kool and the Gang in my head?
I hear you! I was remarking just the other day that with recovery, came my practice of saying "I love my life" every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep. I never in a million years thought I'd feel that way. Which song? xo
"Celebrate" !!!
When I retired as dean, I did a dramatic reading of this song to my division. Some thought I was crazy. Some snapped their fingers like I was a beat poet.
So much fun.
I love that song! xo
https://youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M?si=8nfPXVUEJwu5nsV-
It’s the white shoes that make it art.
Yes, yes yes Nan.
You can always choose love, I can always choose love. We can always choose love and still be very fucking angry about many things.
Love is what allows us to channel, funnel, and burn that anger into fear love. I know this fire well and if I didn’t do so, I would be long dead by now and dangerous, and not a good way.
Instead, I’m dangerous and the best way and growing more dangerous every day.
Beautiful post and I absolutely adore how you call people matron
Fantastic
LOVE you, Prajna. Thank you for this great comment. I'm glad you are you and that you get it! xo
This is so super cool. I love it and I love your voice. ❤️
I'm so glad! I'm just about to video tomorrow's post. It's a fun one...I hope!
So much good stuff here, Nan. And I love the new tatt! xx
Thanks, Rhaine! I was looking at all my tats yesterday, and asked myself if I regretted any of them. The answer came back a resounding NO. I love my ink, and am planning on more...maybe! I'll text you later. xo
There are times I've felt utterly naive to be leaning into love, times people I respect so much have reacted in ways that said, "You're foolish to think we can win anything without fighting fire with fire." I'm still trying to figure out how to be with that, how to channel the MLKjrs of the world. Thanks for this pep talk, Nan!
Glad you’re back! Hope it was a great trip. xo
You and me babe...for the world, not against it! Funny that you mentioned MLKjr. I just made a graphic to post in notes tomorrow of one of his quotes. Are you back from your trip? xo
Hey Nan -- sorry to drop off here. I've just returned from Oz. The jet lag is real. LOL!
Damn, it's hard not to get angry--and stay angry--when rage and retribution flame all around. Your ex-girlfriend left you with a powerful thought that's putting out green shoots in this piece. It's uplifting to share this green corner of Stackland with you.
Thanks, Rona! Oh, I’m angry. I’m just trying to use my anger for good, not evil. xo
Yeah, I guess I'm a love thug. Though the hippy era of the 60's from which I sprung wouldn't use the word thug. They'd say it's too dark, too hostile, too scary, too threatening, too ANGRY. Which is pure bullshit, cuz they felt all those feelings and more. That's why they needed to get high 24/7.
What I love about us, Nan, is that we say the quiet part out loud without needing to immerse our minds in chemicals and flit through life, dancing like Isadora Duncan. We grapple, we engage, we do what we can but don't let it blind us to the beauty of a sunset.
End of rant.
Lovely rant from one thug to another! I'm not sure I can decide for 60s hippies why they got high, or generalize for them. Some people got high to have transcendent spiritual experiences and did. And maybe at the time, they were doing the best they could. Chemicals sometimes yield positive results when they're not abused or tamping down feelings. xo
Love you, MCR.
You make a valid point, Nan. That's what happens when I rant: I fail to see the other side of a debate. I agree that many of the hippie generation just wanted the transcendental experience you refer to. They weren't necessarily angry or even aware (ha!ha!) of the shit going on around them!
Love you back, my friend xoxo
Thank you for receiving my feedback with grace. I said something not just because of what you said, but because that rant behavior is something I'm quite skilled at. The difference for me between seeing in black and white or seeing in color. There are so many possibilities in life, and I'm trying to release the need to be judge and jury, especially in situations that are truly none of my business. But ranting sure is fun! xo
Love. Love. Love. ... I was thinking, after our dinner the other night, about how Substacklandia has given you such a wonderful community while you can still remain happy and comfortable at home. xoxo
Thanks, Nancy! Yes. I feel like I've found "home" in so many ways the last couple of years. Love you, love you, love you. xo
I've been reassessing what I write, too. What I want to immerse myself in. It is wearying. Sometimes, the expression of rage (and sadness) makes me feel worse. And it's not all about my feelings--sometimes, the rage sparks a message I think is important. But those missions overlap. And love always makes me feel better when I give it room to grow.
Love you, Wendy. I'm with you. xo
Thank you. Love you, too. x
Finally I've become a subscriber! I love the video format - it's delightful to hear your voice and see your shana punim. Love yoir entire being 💛. Susan in Denali aka Sallyfish
I LOVE YOU!!!! And thank you. When I saw "Sallyfish" I knew it was you, sweet Susan. I'm glad you enjoyed the video. I want to do it more. I'm loving it. Big hugs, my dear. xo
You go, Nan. Love and anger. Anger as a source of fuel. Change comes from a place of creativity. Love it. Keep at it. You encourage all of us to keep at it.
Thank you, Stewart. We have to do this. I don't have any other ways to go about life right now that are better. I've been so freaked on and off that my mind has even wandered into the terrain of whether or not I should own a gun. That is NOT an acceptable choice and I'm horrified that the thought even occurred to me. Love is the only way I can see dealing with the current shit show. It's MUCH harder than anger and violence in some ways, because it means learning tolerance and respect for differing opinions (to say the least). Saw that you and I are meeting for a design tete a tete, next week. Looking forward to talking with you again. xo
Nan, I'm totally with you in this love land called Substackia, or whatever we want to call it. A platform of writers is a dream come true for me and, I'm sure, for other writers. Rage too often depletes us, and we need to embrace the kinder, gentler love force.
Isn't it a dream come true? I do love it. And yes, rage is very depleting and we can learn to channel our anger in ways that can be healthy. If we keep doing the same things that don't work, it'll never get better. xo