Completely agree. And sometimes people need time to relax, get curious, instead of closing doors. We miss out on so much when we do that. I've done that at times. Curiosity is so much more satisfying and reveals all kinds of surprises. When people get out of their own way, there's so much to discover. xo
Wow. This is my favorite thing that you have written, Nan. It encapsulates every belief that I hold. We are Love, and, I believe, our job on this planet is to love and be loved. It is impossible to do that when I let fear run the show. It is impossible for me to do that when I get distracted by our differences. Today, I will look for our similarities.
Thanks, Chris! Yup. The thing is, it's hard for all of us. It's not us versus "them." That's the piece that's so challenging for me (I'm talking about MAGA, mostly, in this case). How do we do that? My therapist keeps telling me it's all about radical acceptance. It's a high bar, and it's surrender. It's just live and let live. Why is that SO hard?
Oh, don't get me started. Fear ruled my life until somewhat recently. Really amazing to give that one up. I have to re-up all the time though, old habits and everything. xo
We are all other? Or are we all the same? That's the question for me, when we get to the bottom of all the things we as humans share in common, not the things that separate us. xo
Thanks, Nancy! I questioned that sentence when I wrote it. It's so blunt! Not at all like subtle me....and if you believe that...but really, I didnt want anyone to take it the wrong way, BUT I really mean it, and I'm at the top of my own list. xo
Sharing this comment from another reply to you here, Nan. But first...
It's so easy to hate right now. It's literally all the rage. You know what's even easier (and, yes, I know you know)? Just letting people be who they are, as long as they aren't assholes (I can swear here, right?). Here's the share:
I love you so hard right now, Nan Tepper. Thank you for articulating what I don't have the patience to do right now.
I admire the naivete of thinking someone is without bigotry because they come from a marginalized group or "have friends" who are. I think a lot of people would benefit from watching documentaries like The Death and Life of Martha P. Johnson to better understand our American history. Because it is OUR history, including straight cis people. So having a gay hairdresser or the like doesn't mean you know or understand the LGBTQ+ community.
I am not part of that community. But when I am welcomed into a slice of it, and people are willing to enlighten me, I sit and listen. And that didn't really start until I was 21, and my CalArts BFF and his roommates took me through a tour of West Hollywood, showed me art and movies (we went to film school together; he was getting his MFA), and many is those artists were people they knew. I talked with them about their experiences. Friends they had (scores of them) who died of AIDS, were beaten and bullied and kicked out of families. And one of those friends, who was so talented and I just adored, took his own life. That was my first friend who died that way. And these multifaceted humans, many of whom were in the Black drag scene, all welcomed this naive suburban chick in and loved me just as I was, something my family never did. We laughed and danced and cried together. Cooked together. Learned together. Grew into adults together. Of those core four, two are gone. One really struggled. And my BFF is married and a homeowner, something he never imagined, on either front. Because too many of his friends didn't live long enough to do that.
The core tenant of feminism is equality. Not just for some, but for all. (And it was a queer Black woman who came in for a lecture at CalArts who shook me when she pointed out that feminism is really for white women, and that her community gave her grief for being a feminist when the Black community was still fighting for rights. I learned so much from her in that one day, because I shut up and listened. Didn't argue. Didn't question. Didn't try to make myself feel better. I listened.)
When we think someone isn't deserving, it tells us that we have a deep need to feel superior. That tells us *we* need work. If you need to oppress another group, you have a problem.
The only people I can't abide are bigots and the willfully ignorant, which are nearly one and the same. Self-hatred is a real problem. And it's buried in the hate felt toward others.
Some people still need to sit in front of a mirror and realize they have some serious shit to deal with. And when they get ready to point a finger, see that they are pointing at themselves. xo
Sandra Ann . I’m a Nan “fan.” I’m 74. I lived West Hollywood when 19. Early 20s . One of my best buddies was Gil Casanova (real name). We worked at I Magnin & Co. I in sales. He a designer and window dresser. I had a huge crush on him. Naive ? I was clueless. Once revealed I had the most amazing time . I was his “date.” Gay bars. Nightclubs . Best drinks. Food. Beautiful men. Entertainers . I’m sure many of the wonderful men died of aids. I’ve tried to find Gil . No luck.
I’m so sorry that Gil can’t be found, Jennifer, and am sorry for your loss (even just not being able to find him). I think what we get from our gay/queer friends is a level of compassion and honesty that’s unparalleled because of their experiences. They can tell you how beautiful you are or how awful you look in that outfit, and you know it comes from a place of love. I’m glad you had Gil, and I’m sure he was glad he had you. (And Nan is certainly someone to be a fan of.) xo
You can always swear here. All fucks allowed, all the time, and any other language that makes you happy. I love cursing. Geez. They're words. I can't stand the censorship. Patriarchy told us they're "bad" words. They're words, goddammit!
But no words that are mean toward others (I know you know this!).
Your comment has completely undone me, and I've already shared why with you. I think you're phenomenal. Black women were completely disregarded in the early feminist movement of the 60s and 70s, so were lesbians. The white women who ran the show didn't want to be "embarrassed" by the dykes. They didn't want to be associated and they feared that if they let us in, they'd lose all credibility. Nice, huh? We're feminists, but we only support women who we're comfortable with...ARRGGHHH. I could go on and on, but won't today. I'm happily exhausted! I spent a lot of time in Harlem in the black drag scene. I thought I'd lost my mind when I started watching Pose. I cried through most of it.
We come from similar experiences it seems. Thank you for the gift you gave me today. The gift is seeing me. xo
A beautiful essay, Nan and the comments expand it beautifully. I enjoy how you respond to the comments and expand your essay around them. I'm going to take a risk here and offer my own thoughts why women born in women's bodies resent simple explanations offered that a trans woman, born in the wrong body, is the same as a woman born in her biologically compatible body. I haven't read the original essay and I am compassionate and accepting of how difficult that dysphoria would be. But my journey of being a girl in a body that would become a woman's body and our culture's response to that fact, had a huge impact on me and the person I have become. Like you I chafed at restrictions on what was denied to me as a girl. I was accepted as a tomboy-climbing trees, liking lizards and bugs was ok-- but athletic team sports were off limits. Be smart, but not too smart. I resented puberty and having a period and being looked at differently by boys and men. At the time I would have happily stayed a 10 year old girl. I resented how being a tall girl had none of the currency of being a tall boy. My body and its social restrictions had a deep influence on my development. I moved through that period and learned to both accept and love my self as a grown woman and didn't accept limitations. I was fortunate to grow up at a time that made many social changes in how women are treated and in a family that loved me as I am. I do not want to 'other' anyone, but I can understand and sometimes resent simplifications that assume a trans woman's experience is the same as mine. Respecting uniqueness goes both ways. I hope I have expressed these thoughts in a way that does not give offense to anyone beyond having a different opinion.
I never said their experience was the same. But instead of disqualifying them, a conversation between ciswomen and trans women might result in a bridge of understanding, and while I can accept your experience without issue, I won't accept your assumption that women born in women resent simple explanations, unless you've spoken to many women about this. Do you have relationships with trans women? It's different trajectory with it's own set of challenges, maybe different from ones experienced by cis women, dysphoria and dysmorphia are common for many humans, I think. And it's the othering I object to the most, whether it's trans women or black people or Mexicans, or, or, or...xo
I haven’t spoken to trans women about these thoughts, but have had conversations with parents of children who transitioned, mostly into trans men and also with cis women feeling that growing up as a biological woman, through the changes of puberty is a part of their womanhood not to be discounted in contrast to transition. I hope there will be conversations in my future that will expand my understanding of the trans experience. There are good words that affirm being different (unique, distinctive) and there are attitudes and words that seek to diminish, ostracize, discount, invalidate and ‘other’ the humanity of another. I seek understanding with all good will.
I know you seek understanding, and I love that about you. You are CURIOUS. And you listen, don't you? Big hugs to you, Leslie. We want to grow as spiritual beings, I also love THAT about you! xo
Thank you for this important post, Nan. I've been percolating a response to the essay you're referring to, but the words wouldn't come. So, I asked for some space inside myself to see what might arise. And then you wrote—so well.
What also comes to mind while reading your words is Rumi, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." xoxo
LOVE the Rumi quote. I could read Rumi for the rest of my life as my only reference for right action and right thinking. What a wise soul. And, you might want to go take a look at her post today. It's quite something, and you are quoted. So, what I draw from this whole experience is this: If we want to heal, we have to do it together. Love you, my friend. xo
This is such an important conversation, Nan. Thanks for lifting it up. The only thing I might suggest you think about is rather than “melting pot“ perhaps we might want to embrace a rich and vibrant stew. That way everyone gets to hold their shape and identity without having to melt into one uniform culture. Thanks for feeling called to respond and for putting yourself out there!
I completely agree with you on the rich, vibrant stew, but I needed to frame the essay by using a recognizable phrase, and since AMERICA is forgetting the melting pot concept it felt like the appropriate way in. Difference is a beautiful, beautiful thing. xo
That makes sense! And you’re completely right. The idea of a melting pot was one where we welcomed people from many cultures into the mix. Thanks for explaining your thinking in this.
Eloquently said, Nan. I’ll never understand the need to “other” humans who are different than you. Or the need to label and “understand” another’s choices that have no bearing on your life. Live and let live is so simple if we let it be.
It really is. We'd probably all be a lot happier if we calmed down about other people's choices and put that energy toward attending to our own. Once relaxed, we might even be able to open our eyes to difference and come to a place of acceptance. xo
This was a real "two-fer" - reading your essay then reading the comments. Amazing community of people you (we) have here! Tolerance and acceptance is an important distinction; one can feel like "I'll put up with you as long as you stay out of my way" and the other is...well... it's a form of love. It's "I see you." It's curiosity. It's growing in the most profound way. Thanks, Nan, for being an advocate, and for demonstrating to how and why you do it. Thanks.
You're a doll, Stew. Thank you. It is, indeed, "I see you." And the hardest part of that for me is all the resistance to being accepting? It's so much easier to say I SEE YOU, than it is to expend all kinds of unnecessary energy hating and being angry about the differences that might make us uncomfortable. And yes it's an absolutely amazing community WE have. We have it because we're creating it ourselves. We're trusting one another, and we're seeing one another. Peace out, see you later! xo
There are too many lines that I am playing on repeat in my head to copy and paste all of them here. "The sadness, the anger, my surprise." feels like a constant refrain these days.
Your writing ritual, asking for "reliable Grace", is a beautiful one. The equivalent of taking a deep breath and counting to 10.
There's this: "I grieve for a world that doesn’t have the bandwidth to respect difference. To see our differences as gifts."
And while I have a complicated relationship with the word "tolerance" (I much prefer respectful curiosity) the idea of being curious does start with being aware that maybe we don't have all the answers.
Nica, thank you. The word tolerance is a tough one, but, as I said in the essay, it's a starting place, a pause for that deep breath and the count to 10. Curiosity is the element that's carried me through this life. First it was curiosity about information, learning to do the things I didn't know how to do. But then it became a much more expansive gift, because not only have I become more curious about others (I've always been curious about others), I've more importantly become more curious about my internal process, I've become curious about Grace (adding a much needed spiritual practice to my doubter's life) and instead of resisting the things that make me uncomfortable, I inquire into what that feeling is about. What's the message and what is it trying to tell me? Fear, what do you want me to know? Anger, what's underneath? Jealousy, why do I feel less than, what do you want me to understand about the ways I sabotage myself? Sorry, I'm just newly up, only a sip of coffee in me. I ramble. Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. xo
I appreciate the reminder about turning that curiosity inwards. (I also like the dialogue you model here - "fear, what do you want me to know?" "Jealousy, what do you want me to understand?")
The only possible hope for true community is inclusivity and diversity.
Completely agree. And sometimes people need time to relax, get curious, instead of closing doors. We miss out on so much when we do that. I've done that at times. Curiosity is so much more satisfying and reveals all kinds of surprises. When people get out of their own way, there's so much to discover. xo
Yes!!! ❤️🔥
thank you for making a space to express solidarity ✊- writing about overcoming hurdles and personal growth resonate deeply with me
Thank you, Michael! I love it here. xo
Wow. This is my favorite thing that you have written, Nan. It encapsulates every belief that I hold. We are Love, and, I believe, our job on this planet is to love and be loved. It is impossible to do that when I let fear run the show. It is impossible for me to do that when I get distracted by our differences. Today, I will look for our similarities.
I love you, my dear, dear Joy. No one else like you in my world. So grateful to know you, every single day. xo
Beautiful piece, my friend. I don’t have much to add beyond what many commenters have already said, except to repeat something you said:
Fucking coexist already.
Thanks, Chris! Yup. The thing is, it's hard for all of us. It's not us versus "them." That's the piece that's so challenging for me (I'm talking about MAGA, mostly, in this case). How do we do that? My therapist keeps telling me it's all about radical acceptance. It's a high bar, and it's surrender. It's just live and let live. Why is that SO hard?
I wish I knew, Nan. I wish I knew...
Yep. I think it's all fear-based. I'm as guilty as the next person. Except I've learned to look deeper than my immediate reactions. It helps. xo
I 100% agree that it's all rooted in fear. Scary what a fundamental driver of human behavior that is, eh?
Oh, don't get me started. Fear ruled my life until somewhat recently. Really amazing to give that one up. I have to re-up all the time though, old habits and everything. xo
Thank you for that Nan,well written and tought provoking.....if only people would remember that one way or another we are all other....
We are all other? Or are we all the same? That's the question for me, when we get to the bottom of all the things we as humans share in common, not the things that separate us. xo
This is wonderful. "Fucking coexist already." Love it. So thoughtful.
I want a t-shirt!
I can make you one. What size, please? xo
Thanks, Nancy! I questioned that sentence when I wrote it. It's so blunt! Not at all like subtle me....and if you believe that...but really, I didnt want anyone to take it the wrong way, BUT I really mean it, and I'm at the top of my own list. xo
Authenticity always! 😊🫂
Nan, you truly are a wonderful human. 🩵
Thank you, Leslie. And sometimes, I'm not. Just like everyone. xo
That's normal, Nan.
Please, don’t be hard on yourself.
Much love. 🩵
Not being hard on myself, just honest. xo
I agree with your Nan! A lovely meditation on tolerance! Bravo
Thank you, Dorothy. xo
Sharing this comment from another reply to you here, Nan. But first...
It's so easy to hate right now. It's literally all the rage. You know what's even easier (and, yes, I know you know)? Just letting people be who they are, as long as they aren't assholes (I can swear here, right?). Here's the share:
I love you so hard right now, Nan Tepper. Thank you for articulating what I don't have the patience to do right now.
I admire the naivete of thinking someone is without bigotry because they come from a marginalized group or "have friends" who are. I think a lot of people would benefit from watching documentaries like The Death and Life of Martha P. Johnson to better understand our American history. Because it is OUR history, including straight cis people. So having a gay hairdresser or the like doesn't mean you know or understand the LGBTQ+ community.
I am not part of that community. But when I am welcomed into a slice of it, and people are willing to enlighten me, I sit and listen. And that didn't really start until I was 21, and my CalArts BFF and his roommates took me through a tour of West Hollywood, showed me art and movies (we went to film school together; he was getting his MFA), and many is those artists were people they knew. I talked with them about their experiences. Friends they had (scores of them) who died of AIDS, were beaten and bullied and kicked out of families. And one of those friends, who was so talented and I just adored, took his own life. That was my first friend who died that way. And these multifaceted humans, many of whom were in the Black drag scene, all welcomed this naive suburban chick in and loved me just as I was, something my family never did. We laughed and danced and cried together. Cooked together. Learned together. Grew into adults together. Of those core four, two are gone. One really struggled. And my BFF is married and a homeowner, something he never imagined, on either front. Because too many of his friends didn't live long enough to do that.
The core tenant of feminism is equality. Not just for some, but for all. (And it was a queer Black woman who came in for a lecture at CalArts who shook me when she pointed out that feminism is really for white women, and that her community gave her grief for being a feminist when the Black community was still fighting for rights. I learned so much from her in that one day, because I shut up and listened. Didn't argue. Didn't question. Didn't try to make myself feel better. I listened.)
When we think someone isn't deserving, it tells us that we have a deep need to feel superior. That tells us *we* need work. If you need to oppress another group, you have a problem.
The only people I can't abide are bigots and the willfully ignorant, which are nearly one and the same. Self-hatred is a real problem. And it's buried in the hate felt toward others.
Some people still need to sit in front of a mirror and realize they have some serious shit to deal with. And when they get ready to point a finger, see that they are pointing at themselves. xo
Sandra Ann . I’m a Nan “fan.” I’m 74. I lived West Hollywood when 19. Early 20s . One of my best buddies was Gil Casanova (real name). We worked at I Magnin & Co. I in sales. He a designer and window dresser. I had a huge crush on him. Naive ? I was clueless. Once revealed I had the most amazing time . I was his “date.” Gay bars. Nightclubs . Best drinks. Food. Beautiful men. Entertainers . I’m sure many of the wonderful men died of aids. I’ve tried to find Gil . No luck.
I’m so sorry that Gil can’t be found, Jennifer, and am sorry for your loss (even just not being able to find him). I think what we get from our gay/queer friends is a level of compassion and honesty that’s unparalleled because of their experiences. They can tell you how beautiful you are or how awful you look in that outfit, and you know it comes from a place of love. I’m glad you had Gil, and I’m sure he was glad he had you. (And Nan is certainly someone to be a fan of.) xo
If you’d like. Read my post.
Would love to. Please share the link. xo
I remember those days, too. Gay men were awesome dates.
Love this 💖
Kindness is so important, along with curiosity and openness, they’re a powerful combination.
Thanks for that, Lisa. I was just saying that to my friend who wrote the first post. Healing is happening all over this. xo
You can always swear here. All fucks allowed, all the time, and any other language that makes you happy. I love cursing. Geez. They're words. I can't stand the censorship. Patriarchy told us they're "bad" words. They're words, goddammit!
But no words that are mean toward others (I know you know this!).
Your comment has completely undone me, and I've already shared why with you. I think you're phenomenal. Black women were completely disregarded in the early feminist movement of the 60s and 70s, so were lesbians. The white women who ran the show didn't want to be "embarrassed" by the dykes. They didn't want to be associated and they feared that if they let us in, they'd lose all credibility. Nice, huh? We're feminists, but we only support women who we're comfortable with...ARRGGHHH. I could go on and on, but won't today. I'm happily exhausted! I spent a lot of time in Harlem in the black drag scene. I thought I'd lost my mind when I started watching Pose. I cried through most of it.
We come from similar experiences it seems. Thank you for the gift you gave me today. The gift is seeing me. xo
Thank you for seeing me back, Nan. xo
You bet. xo
A beautiful essay, Nan and the comments expand it beautifully. I enjoy how you respond to the comments and expand your essay around them. I'm going to take a risk here and offer my own thoughts why women born in women's bodies resent simple explanations offered that a trans woman, born in the wrong body, is the same as a woman born in her biologically compatible body. I haven't read the original essay and I am compassionate and accepting of how difficult that dysphoria would be. But my journey of being a girl in a body that would become a woman's body and our culture's response to that fact, had a huge impact on me and the person I have become. Like you I chafed at restrictions on what was denied to me as a girl. I was accepted as a tomboy-climbing trees, liking lizards and bugs was ok-- but athletic team sports were off limits. Be smart, but not too smart. I resented puberty and having a period and being looked at differently by boys and men. At the time I would have happily stayed a 10 year old girl. I resented how being a tall girl had none of the currency of being a tall boy. My body and its social restrictions had a deep influence on my development. I moved through that period and learned to both accept and love my self as a grown woman and didn't accept limitations. I was fortunate to grow up at a time that made many social changes in how women are treated and in a family that loved me as I am. I do not want to 'other' anyone, but I can understand and sometimes resent simplifications that assume a trans woman's experience is the same as mine. Respecting uniqueness goes both ways. I hope I have expressed these thoughts in a way that does not give offense to anyone beyond having a different opinion.
I never said their experience was the same. But instead of disqualifying them, a conversation between ciswomen and trans women might result in a bridge of understanding, and while I can accept your experience without issue, I won't accept your assumption that women born in women resent simple explanations, unless you've spoken to many women about this. Do you have relationships with trans women? It's different trajectory with it's own set of challenges, maybe different from ones experienced by cis women, dysphoria and dysmorphia are common for many humans, I think. And it's the othering I object to the most, whether it's trans women or black people or Mexicans, or, or, or...xo
I haven’t spoken to trans women about these thoughts, but have had conversations with parents of children who transitioned, mostly into trans men and also with cis women feeling that growing up as a biological woman, through the changes of puberty is a part of their womanhood not to be discounted in contrast to transition. I hope there will be conversations in my future that will expand my understanding of the trans experience. There are good words that affirm being different (unique, distinctive) and there are attitudes and words that seek to diminish, ostracize, discount, invalidate and ‘other’ the humanity of another. I seek understanding with all good will.
I know you seek understanding, and I love that about you. You are CURIOUS. And you listen, don't you? Big hugs to you, Leslie. We want to grow as spiritual beings, I also love THAT about you! xo
Thank you for this important post, Nan. I've been percolating a response to the essay you're referring to, but the words wouldn't come. So, I asked for some space inside myself to see what might arise. And then you wrote—so well.
What also comes to mind while reading your words is Rumi, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." xoxo
LOVE the Rumi quote. I could read Rumi for the rest of my life as my only reference for right action and right thinking. What a wise soul. And, you might want to go take a look at her post today. It's quite something, and you are quoted. So, what I draw from this whole experience is this: If we want to heal, we have to do it together. Love you, my friend. xo
Yes! If we want to heal we have to do it together.
You and I know that for sure, Joy. Love you. xo
Yep! Healing together.
YEP! xo
This is such an important conversation, Nan. Thanks for lifting it up. The only thing I might suggest you think about is rather than “melting pot“ perhaps we might want to embrace a rich and vibrant stew. That way everyone gets to hold their shape and identity without having to melt into one uniform culture. Thanks for feeling called to respond and for putting yourself out there!
I completely agree with you on the rich, vibrant stew, but I needed to frame the essay by using a recognizable phrase, and since AMERICA is forgetting the melting pot concept it felt like the appropriate way in. Difference is a beautiful, beautiful thing. xo
That makes sense! And you’re completely right. The idea of a melting pot was one where we welcomed people from many cultures into the mix. Thanks for explaining your thinking in this.
Thank you for getting it.
Eloquently said, Nan. I’ll never understand the need to “other” humans who are different than you. Or the need to label and “understand” another’s choices that have no bearing on your life. Live and let live is so simple if we let it be.
It really is. We'd probably all be a lot happier if we calmed down about other people's choices and put that energy toward attending to our own. Once relaxed, we might even be able to open our eyes to difference and come to a place of acceptance. xo
This was a real "two-fer" - reading your essay then reading the comments. Amazing community of people you (we) have here! Tolerance and acceptance is an important distinction; one can feel like "I'll put up with you as long as you stay out of my way" and the other is...well... it's a form of love. It's "I see you." It's curiosity. It's growing in the most profound way. Thanks, Nan, for being an advocate, and for demonstrating to how and why you do it. Thanks.
You're a doll, Stew. Thank you. It is, indeed, "I see you." And the hardest part of that for me is all the resistance to being accepting? It's so much easier to say I SEE YOU, than it is to expend all kinds of unnecessary energy hating and being angry about the differences that might make us uncomfortable. And yes it's an absolutely amazing community WE have. We have it because we're creating it ourselves. We're trusting one another, and we're seeing one another. Peace out, see you later! xo
There are too many lines that I am playing on repeat in my head to copy and paste all of them here. "The sadness, the anger, my surprise." feels like a constant refrain these days.
Your writing ritual, asking for "reliable Grace", is a beautiful one. The equivalent of taking a deep breath and counting to 10.
There's this: "I grieve for a world that doesn’t have the bandwidth to respect difference. To see our differences as gifts."
And while I have a complicated relationship with the word "tolerance" (I much prefer respectful curiosity) the idea of being curious does start with being aware that maybe we don't have all the answers.
Soul bodies.
Nica, thank you. The word tolerance is a tough one, but, as I said in the essay, it's a starting place, a pause for that deep breath and the count to 10. Curiosity is the element that's carried me through this life. First it was curiosity about information, learning to do the things I didn't know how to do. But then it became a much more expansive gift, because not only have I become more curious about others (I've always been curious about others), I've more importantly become more curious about my internal process, I've become curious about Grace (adding a much needed spiritual practice to my doubter's life) and instead of resisting the things that make me uncomfortable, I inquire into what that feeling is about. What's the message and what is it trying to tell me? Fear, what do you want me to know? Anger, what's underneath? Jealousy, why do I feel less than, what do you want me to understand about the ways I sabotage myself? Sorry, I'm just newly up, only a sip of coffee in me. I ramble. Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. xo
I appreciate the reminder about turning that curiosity inwards. (I also like the dialogue you model here - "fear, what do you want me to know?" "Jealousy, what do you want me to understand?")
Thanks for your thoughtful writing!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Nica. I hope you'll stick around. xo