Wow, Nan. It's infuriating that our insurance system doesn't consider dental medical--it so clearly is. I've never understood this. I'm sorry you got stuck with a bad number in the dental lottery. I LOVE front tooth gaps! Lauren Hutton! I begged my daughter to save hers back in the day but she wanted the orthodontist to close it :(
YES to the front tooth gaps. My dad worked with Lauren Hutton on a licensing agreement his company had with her. He said she was the nicest celebrity he'd ever worked with. And the dentist that I didn't write about told me she could create the gap by making new front tooth crowns for me. She wasn't the best dentist in the world, and I omitted the story about her because it was a shitshow. LOVE you! xo
Tooth trauma is real. And it comes in all shapes and sizes. My childhood dentist didn't believe in Novocain. Which may have been a good thing because he must not have done much. By time the time I'd moved on to the next dentist I had 11 cavities. The real trauma began when I had dental surgery but I'll leave that alone.
Nan! I'm so sorry they took your gap from you! It's insane that insurance doesn't cover teeth (or eyes). INSANE. What the fuck? You're right--our teeth really do affect our self esteem. There were few dental visits in my household. Only when we were in excessive pain. Nothing cosmetic or corrective. My sister fell and had an upside down v shaped space in her 2 front teeth all through her teenage years. She finally got it fixed on her own, as an adult. Brutal. Also, EVERY MOTHER'S SON! I had one of their albums! I played it over and over. 😆
Thanks, Wendy. I once had a dentist who told me she could give me the gap cosmetically. She's one I didn't write about. Another shitshow that yielded terrible work that needed to be redone, and an arrest for writing fake prescriptions to support her opioid addiction. It was really sad. She lost her practice and her license. She was/is a lovely human and had become kind of a friend. When you ask someone if they think they're a great dentist, and the reply you receive is, "Not great, but good," you should run in the opposite direction. The reason I didn't is because she let me pay out my bill over time and her prices were pretty reasonable. But because the work was subpar (there was a claim for a refund filed with the Dental Society of New York, which I won) it ended up costing me more because almost all her work needed to be redone. AARRRGGHHHH. I'm sorry you and your sibs didn't get better care when you were kids. xo
That's horrific. Even ordinary follow up--when they do it RIGHT the first time--is awful. I'm so sorry you had to keep going for work that was a mess. All that time and energy and stress and pain. Fuck. Don't think I could have been her friend afterwards.
Yup. I wasn't friends with her after I left her practice. I'll tell the story one day. Don't want to go into it here. And later when her practice (and her life) blew up, I felt terrible. She was struggling with a disease. I never found out how she was, after it happened. But I hope she found recovery, and something to do with her life that's meaningful. She was a good person, above all. I do hope she's okay. xo
And, with Dr. Rackson, I think his behavior towards my mother should have been against the law. When I told my mother that I wrote about him, she said to me, "did you mention his bad breath?" Uh. Of course!
Hey! I know? Hilarious, right? And then right after, my mother would take me for a chocolate shake as a treat/reward and because of numbness, I'd say I was hungry but couldn't chew...I did love sweets. Thanks for reading, Irena. Smiling. Crying. So many feelings! xo
The smoking came later. I know, the breath? Coupled with nose hairs and "Tiger" made him wholly awful. Not sure why we never found someone else, but there you go. Ick.
You are such a fine storyteller, I could picture every one of those dentists..and her their voices. I tell we are a different generation, I got a dime. I had a brother in law who had fooled around with the tooth during the night and got the tooth stuck in his ear requiring a trip to the ER, and I don't know if he even got a dime.
I've read the comments, there are so many tooth fairy stories. You have more way more than your share of adult tooth traumas, yikes, teeth are so personal and part of our day to day--eating talking, smiling. I'm so glad you found "Transcend Dental" and again admire your capacity to rise above the crummy and unfair to tell a rich human tale.
I also enjoyed the Easter Egg hunt for the teeth images peeking out of dividers and other spots--you do have fun.
Thanks, Leslie, for everything you said. I think I waited as long as I did to start writing to gather and share the stories and the evolution of my life from joy to suffering to joy once more. And to learn that life can't be one or the other. It's got to include a spectrum of experiences. How DID the tooth wind up in his ear? I need to know. And yes, you're correct, I do indeed have fun! xo
What a story! So relatable! The bad teeth, the horrible dentists, the mouth that hardly feels like mine at times… and you tell it so well! Thank goodness you found the right mensch! :) 😘
Dental can sink the ship in so many ways. I'm glad you finally found someone able to help and able to make it work. I'm also shocked at the lack of chairside manner of the one dentist. Crazy.
And yet another intersection in our Venn diagram. Both parents had lousy teeth and my lack of care and drug addiction didn't help, but I've had everything done that can be done in my mouth. I've been to dental schools for the affordable work (and no, they don't teach compassion, at all), had root canals on teeth that had already been capped, had my jaw bone drilled into to drain an abcess that had eaten into the bone, had partials (upper and lower), cried during cleaning because of the pain and finally, my entire bottom is one giant implant called an All on Four. I won't post them here, but I'm going to send you some photos. I documented much of my dental journey, while they were working on me. Don't ask me why. It just seemed I was spending so much time there (for years, going once a week), there ought to be a record somewhere.
Oh, darling. I hear you...and thanks for the pix? Yikes. That's a lot. I haven't documented mine, but my mother photographed her restoration (because she documents everything, interesting or not). Teeth. GAH. Love you, VennSis. xo
Oh, Nan. Our teeth are such a vital part of our health and identity. It's infuriating that some con artist managed to wiggle them OUT of of healthcare coverage. And to take that to a whole other level-- Though I now have dental coverage through my work, for the first time ever, my husband's recent crown wasn't covered because he'd had "work done on that tooth within five years of the issue." WTF??! I digress.
I'm impressed with how well you recall and recount the details of your saga, and I appreciate how much you've persevered in these circumstances. Thank goodness you finally found someone you could work with for the long term care you need. Having offered moral support to a daughter who endured a complicated and expensive implant on a front tooth (a year in the making!) I really do sympathize.
Thanks, Elizabeth...and yes, arrrgghh to the reasons insurance company that squirmed out of the need to pay for your husband's work. And hopefully, I will have care for a long time to come. Bruce is the most vital 81 year-old I know. I plan on having him around for a very long time, and as far as I know, he does, too. xo
Well, my dear, a story about tooth angst always hooks me. And since you've read one or two of my books, you know how I wrecked my teeth when I was in my twenties. Good old stomach acid. Anyway, I asked one of my last dentists at B.U. Dental School cuz it's all I could afford: "Doc," I said, "what can I expect from my teeth from now on?" And he said with a withering smile, "Honey, you'll need constant restorative work for the rest of your life."
Ah well, here I am 77 and in need of bone grafts on both sides of my lower job on 11/25. So that I can get implants. For a lower denture to clip onto. Oh boy. Can't wait. Then I can chew. But I hope I just get crowns or something smaller than a whole plate. Plates suck, even without Polident. I doubt I'll even wear it.
Anyway, Nan, we'll be in touch. Remember I'm going to Spain on 10/17. xoxo
Oy, you do have a saga happening. I remember the story from your books. The dentist called you "honey?" Hmmmm. I wish you well with the future restoration. Maybe you'll be surprised. And have a blast in Spain! I'm here whenever you're ready. xo
I wrote about my adventures in dentistry a while back too. I used to have a HUGE fear of the dentist. No longer, thank God. I love “Transcend Dental.” Brilliant.
I ended up driving from Phoenix to Tucson to see my childhood dentist after we moved. I loved that man - but then again, I inherited strong and healthy teeth from my father. Unfortunately, I also inherited receding gums from my mother which prompted five grafting surgeries that were just plain awful. The last one gave me a bruised face just a couple days before starting a new job. What a first impression!
I'm so happy you finally found a dentist who is both good and compassionate. And a former star - I remember that song!!
Oh, he's a star, alright. Yikes to the grafts. Ow. I had one of those too, for my first set of implants from Dr. Pai. He was so expensive that a lot of us in the area refer to him as Dr. Pay. But he's a sweetie too. I just couldn't afford him. His vacation home burned down in Malibu about 10 years ago, he rebuilt and whoops! It happened again. I just don't have the bucks to support his fabulous lifestyle. Poor Dr. Pay. xo
Oh, Nan, can I relate to this! As a child, I had terrible teeth and hated the dentist. I too had ‘gas’ to have fillings. I didn’t know anything of Mr Rogers but my bespectacled dentist turned into a pirate with a black eyepatch and I was up in space banging my teeth against a metal bar. I had multiple fillings and a cap which ended up giving me the worst toothache ever. But I found a wonderful dentist when I moved to Canada and he restored my mouth and my faith in dentists. I would eat beans on toast for the rest of my life to make sure I can afford to keep my teeth! Xx
I have the WORST dental anxiety, and so I read this with my eyes half covered! I have been lucky with my teeth - mom had good teeth, dad had horrible teeth, and I have had cavities and impacted wisdom teeth out but nothing worse. Despite this, I have to take anxiety medication just to get myself into the chair. I do it, but I dread it.
You are a trooper. Resetting the loose teeth....SHIVERS.
It's staggeringly unfair how expensive it is. It should be covered by regular health insurance. Dental health affects your physical and mental health, and the idea that your teeth are somehow separate from all that when they are that close to your brain blows my mind.
Yeah the reset was awful. Worse than the other after-effects of the seizure, for sure. I was horrified when I looked in the mirror. That was a first. I was like you for a long, long time. So much anxiety. I made light of it a bit, but I was really avoidant. And yes. Hmmm, isn't an odd thing? There are all kinds of reasons why, and I was originally going to write about how much I resent the high prices, but it's the direction my writing took. I'm listening to my muse, more and more, and I love where she takes me. I know you get this. And not just teeth, but eyeglasses, hearing aids. How are these not a part of the whole. Scammy insurance industry...and honestly, the dental lobby has a strong role in avoiding insurance from what I've read. xo I'm glad you have good teeth. OH, shit. I left out the impacted wisdom tooth story. That one's a doozy too, but if I'd written about that and a couple of other episodes, the essay would have turned into a book. xo
I have some pretty similar stories, though I've never met a dentist like the last one, much to my dismay. I bet the whole US has dental trauma; certainly, we all have sticker shock! I'm so happy you have found both care and compassion. Too bad teeth are not part of the medically insurable body. As always, thanks for the insights and the laughs. This was a great one.
Thanks, Susan. When you come visit, I'll introduce you. I'm sure he'll be at the slam. He doesn't miss them. Yes. The teeth. A part of the body? What a fascinating concept! 🤪
Relating to your dental trauma SO HARD, I'm practically a FOSSIL!
I think yours may have been harder? So much surgery...I can't wait to meet you and give you a hug, missy. xo
Wow, Nan. It's infuriating that our insurance system doesn't consider dental medical--it so clearly is. I've never understood this. I'm sorry you got stuck with a bad number in the dental lottery. I LOVE front tooth gaps! Lauren Hutton! I begged my daughter to save hers back in the day but she wanted the orthodontist to close it :(
YES to the front tooth gaps. My dad worked with Lauren Hutton on a licensing agreement his company had with her. He said she was the nicest celebrity he'd ever worked with. And the dentist that I didn't write about told me she could create the gap by making new front tooth crowns for me. She wasn't the best dentist in the world, and I omitted the story about her because it was a shitshow. LOVE you! xo
xoxo
Tooth trauma is real. And it comes in all shapes and sizes. My childhood dentist didn't believe in Novocain. Which may have been a good thing because he must not have done much. By time the time I'd moved on to the next dentist I had 11 cavities. The real trauma began when I had dental surgery but I'll leave that alone.
Yup. xo
Nan! I'm so sorry they took your gap from you! It's insane that insurance doesn't cover teeth (or eyes). INSANE. What the fuck? You're right--our teeth really do affect our self esteem. There were few dental visits in my household. Only when we were in excessive pain. Nothing cosmetic or corrective. My sister fell and had an upside down v shaped space in her 2 front teeth all through her teenage years. She finally got it fixed on her own, as an adult. Brutal. Also, EVERY MOTHER'S SON! I had one of their albums! I played it over and over. 😆
Thanks, Wendy. I once had a dentist who told me she could give me the gap cosmetically. She's one I didn't write about. Another shitshow that yielded terrible work that needed to be redone, and an arrest for writing fake prescriptions to support her opioid addiction. It was really sad. She lost her practice and her license. She was/is a lovely human and had become kind of a friend. When you ask someone if they think they're a great dentist, and the reply you receive is, "Not great, but good," you should run in the opposite direction. The reason I didn't is because she let me pay out my bill over time and her prices were pretty reasonable. But because the work was subpar (there was a claim for a refund filed with the Dental Society of New York, which I won) it ended up costing me more because almost all her work needed to be redone. AARRRGGHHHH. I'm sorry you and your sibs didn't get better care when you were kids. xo
That's horrific. Even ordinary follow up--when they do it RIGHT the first time--is awful. I'm so sorry you had to keep going for work that was a mess. All that time and energy and stress and pain. Fuck. Don't think I could have been her friend afterwards.
Yup. I wasn't friends with her after I left her practice. I'll tell the story one day. Don't want to go into it here. And later when her practice (and her life) blew up, I felt terrible. She was struggling with a disease. I never found out how she was, after it happened. But I hope she found recovery, and something to do with her life that's meaningful. She was a good person, above all. I do hope she's okay. xo
Dr. Rackson: "Don't forget to grab a lollipop on your way out! See you in [checks watch] ten days!"
What the heck kind of dentist hands out lollipops?! Shouldn't that be against the law???
Your experience at Transcend Dental made me cry. And you do have a great smile! Beautiful, in fact. xo
And, with Dr. Rackson, I think his behavior towards my mother should have been against the law. When I told my mother that I wrote about him, she said to me, "did you mention his bad breath?" Uh. Of course!
Hey! I know? Hilarious, right? And then right after, my mother would take me for a chocolate shake as a treat/reward and because of numbness, I'd say I was hungry but couldn't chew...I did love sweets. Thanks for reading, Irena. Smiling. Crying. So many feelings! xo
Oh yeah, the chocolate shake—good for post-drilling numbness and strong, healthy teeth! At least he didn't also encourage you to smoke.
I don't know if there's anything worse than a dentist with bad breath. Ew ew ew ew.
The smoking came later. I know, the breath? Coupled with nose hairs and "Tiger" made him wholly awful. Not sure why we never found someone else, but there you go. Ick.
You are such a fine storyteller, I could picture every one of those dentists..and her their voices. I tell we are a different generation, I got a dime. I had a brother in law who had fooled around with the tooth during the night and got the tooth stuck in his ear requiring a trip to the ER, and I don't know if he even got a dime.
I've read the comments, there are so many tooth fairy stories. You have more way more than your share of adult tooth traumas, yikes, teeth are so personal and part of our day to day--eating talking, smiling. I'm so glad you found "Transcend Dental" and again admire your capacity to rise above the crummy and unfair to tell a rich human tale.
I also enjoyed the Easter Egg hunt for the teeth images peeking out of dividers and other spots--you do have fun.
Thanks, Leslie, for everything you said. I think I waited as long as I did to start writing to gather and share the stories and the evolution of my life from joy to suffering to joy once more. And to learn that life can't be one or the other. It's got to include a spectrum of experiences. How DID the tooth wind up in his ear? I need to know. And yes, you're correct, I do indeed have fun! xo
What a story! So relatable! The bad teeth, the horrible dentists, the mouth that hardly feels like mine at times… and you tell it so well! Thank goodness you found the right mensch! :) 😘
Thanks, Audrey! I had a great time writing this piece, and I'm sorry it resonated! 😘 xo
Dental can sink the ship in so many ways. I'm glad you finally found someone able to help and able to make it work. I'm also shocked at the lack of chairside manner of the one dentist. Crazy.
SO crazy! I felt like I was talking (or crying) to a wall. xo
And yet another intersection in our Venn diagram. Both parents had lousy teeth and my lack of care and drug addiction didn't help, but I've had everything done that can be done in my mouth. I've been to dental schools for the affordable work (and no, they don't teach compassion, at all), had root canals on teeth that had already been capped, had my jaw bone drilled into to drain an abcess that had eaten into the bone, had partials (upper and lower), cried during cleaning because of the pain and finally, my entire bottom is one giant implant called an All on Four. I won't post them here, but I'm going to send you some photos. I documented much of my dental journey, while they were working on me. Don't ask me why. It just seemed I was spending so much time there (for years, going once a week), there ought to be a record somewhere.
Oh, darling. I hear you...and thanks for the pix? Yikes. That's a lot. I haven't documented mine, but my mother photographed her restoration (because she documents everything, interesting or not). Teeth. GAH. Love you, VennSis. xo
Oh, Nan. Our teeth are such a vital part of our health and identity. It's infuriating that some con artist managed to wiggle them OUT of of healthcare coverage. And to take that to a whole other level-- Though I now have dental coverage through my work, for the first time ever, my husband's recent crown wasn't covered because he'd had "work done on that tooth within five years of the issue." WTF??! I digress.
I'm impressed with how well you recall and recount the details of your saga, and I appreciate how much you've persevered in these circumstances. Thank goodness you finally found someone you could work with for the long term care you need. Having offered moral support to a daughter who endured a complicated and expensive implant on a front tooth (a year in the making!) I really do sympathize.
Thanks, Elizabeth...and yes, arrrgghh to the reasons insurance company that squirmed out of the need to pay for your husband's work. And hopefully, I will have care for a long time to come. Bruce is the most vital 81 year-old I know. I plan on having him around for a very long time, and as far as I know, he does, too. xo
Well, my dear, a story about tooth angst always hooks me. And since you've read one or two of my books, you know how I wrecked my teeth when I was in my twenties. Good old stomach acid. Anyway, I asked one of my last dentists at B.U. Dental School cuz it's all I could afford: "Doc," I said, "what can I expect from my teeth from now on?" And he said with a withering smile, "Honey, you'll need constant restorative work for the rest of your life."
Ah well, here I am 77 and in need of bone grafts on both sides of my lower job on 11/25. So that I can get implants. For a lower denture to clip onto. Oh boy. Can't wait. Then I can chew. But I hope I just get crowns or something smaller than a whole plate. Plates suck, even without Polident. I doubt I'll even wear it.
Anyway, Nan, we'll be in touch. Remember I'm going to Spain on 10/17. xoxo
Oy, you do have a saga happening. I remember the story from your books. The dentist called you "honey?" Hmmmm. I wish you well with the future restoration. Maybe you'll be surprised. And have a blast in Spain! I'm here whenever you're ready. xo
Thanks, Nan. Sending you an email with details. xo
I wrote about my adventures in dentistry a while back too. I used to have a HUGE fear of the dentist. No longer, thank God. I love “Transcend Dental.” Brilliant.
Isn't it? He's a smart dude...I'm assuming he thought up the name, but I've never asked him. xo
I ended up driving from Phoenix to Tucson to see my childhood dentist after we moved. I loved that man - but then again, I inherited strong and healthy teeth from my father. Unfortunately, I also inherited receding gums from my mother which prompted five grafting surgeries that were just plain awful. The last one gave me a bruised face just a couple days before starting a new job. What a first impression!
I'm so happy you finally found a dentist who is both good and compassionate. And a former star - I remember that song!!
Oh, he's a star, alright. Yikes to the grafts. Ow. I had one of those too, for my first set of implants from Dr. Pai. He was so expensive that a lot of us in the area refer to him as Dr. Pay. But he's a sweetie too. I just couldn't afford him. His vacation home burned down in Malibu about 10 years ago, he rebuilt and whoops! It happened again. I just don't have the bucks to support his fabulous lifestyle. Poor Dr. Pay. xo
Implants plus grafting?! UGH!!
Oh, Nan, can I relate to this! As a child, I had terrible teeth and hated the dentist. I too had ‘gas’ to have fillings. I didn’t know anything of Mr Rogers but my bespectacled dentist turned into a pirate with a black eyepatch and I was up in space banging my teeth against a metal bar. I had multiple fillings and a cap which ended up giving me the worst toothache ever. But I found a wonderful dentist when I moved to Canada and he restored my mouth and my faith in dentists. I would eat beans on toast for the rest of my life to make sure I can afford to keep my teeth! Xx
I hear sweetie. So we were psychedelic tripping tots...together! Hilarious. A pirate, matey? Arrrrgghhh. xo
I have the WORST dental anxiety, and so I read this with my eyes half covered! I have been lucky with my teeth - mom had good teeth, dad had horrible teeth, and I have had cavities and impacted wisdom teeth out but nothing worse. Despite this, I have to take anxiety medication just to get myself into the chair. I do it, but I dread it.
You are a trooper. Resetting the loose teeth....SHIVERS.
It's staggeringly unfair how expensive it is. It should be covered by regular health insurance. Dental health affects your physical and mental health, and the idea that your teeth are somehow separate from all that when they are that close to your brain blows my mind.
Yeah the reset was awful. Worse than the other after-effects of the seizure, for sure. I was horrified when I looked in the mirror. That was a first. I was like you for a long, long time. So much anxiety. I made light of it a bit, but I was really avoidant. And yes. Hmmm, isn't an odd thing? There are all kinds of reasons why, and I was originally going to write about how much I resent the high prices, but it's the direction my writing took. I'm listening to my muse, more and more, and I love where she takes me. I know you get this. And not just teeth, but eyeglasses, hearing aids. How are these not a part of the whole. Scammy insurance industry...and honestly, the dental lobby has a strong role in avoiding insurance from what I've read. xo I'm glad you have good teeth. OH, shit. I left out the impacted wisdom tooth story. That one's a doozy too, but if I'd written about that and a couple of other episodes, the essay would have turned into a book. xo
I have some pretty similar stories, though I've never met a dentist like the last one, much to my dismay. I bet the whole US has dental trauma; certainly, we all have sticker shock! I'm so happy you have found both care and compassion. Too bad teeth are not part of the medically insurable body. As always, thanks for the insights and the laughs. This was a great one.
Now there’s a visual, Tom jammin…
I can see it. xo
Thanks, Susan. When you come visit, I'll introduce you. I'm sure he'll be at the slam. He doesn't miss them. Yes. The teeth. A part of the body? What a fascinating concept! 🤪
Oooh. I’d love to meet him. My kinda guy. Plus Tom would be jelly. I always enjoy that.
You're a hoot! Make Tom jam, not jelly! xo