Beautiful. The lie detector gone mad signature! Brilliant!
Anger is such a tricky subject. When can we express it? When is it healthier not to erupt? I'm glad you found a literal punching bag. I've always wanted to try that and see how it felt.
I know what you mean about the more violent the world becomes, the less violent you get. I relate.
Try it! I think it might be extremely therapeutic for you. Anger is hard to parse, but I was so afraid of mine...I showed my anger by isolating myself, being passive aggressive, and manipulative, and when I'd get to my breaking point, I'd cry when I really wanted to punch something. One day when I was a teenager, my brother was annoying me, teasing me, tormenting me, and he kept opening the door to my bedroom. I couldn't get him to stop. I picked up my Baby Ben wind-up alarm clock and threw it hard not at my brother but toward my bedroom wall. It left a hole in the dry wall ruining my wallpaper. My father was furious with me. I think it was one of the few times I ever got yelled at by him. That made me angrier. Because didn't he understand that I purposely threw the clock at the wall, because I didn't want to hurt my little brother. My brother didn't get yelled at. And that made me EVEN ANGRIER. See how it works against us? Geez. xo
Thanks, Pamela! I didn't want to hurt him, or maybe I did, but I couldn't. Instead, I did the next right thing. Sadly, my father did not agree with my harm reduction method. That hole never got fixed. I hung a picture over it. xo
I may be the only guy in here, but I know you’re cool with that. Loved this piece, Nan. Someone once told me, after I very uncharacteristically rage-yelled at someone, that I should let my anger out more often. She was right. I’m glad you’ve gotten in touch with yours.
I'm always cool with you being here, Chris. I don't hate all men. Mostly there are a lot of them I don't like very much. It's such a huge conversation. I assess men on a case by case basis. I don't love all women, I go through a similar process with them. I appreciate all people who are kind, compassionate, friendly, generous, and don't think only of themselves. I hate the structure of a culture that has created such a separation of roles, and has kept women down for centuries and treated them like possessions. I hate that we're witnessing an intent on making it harder again for women who want to create, earn, love freely, procreate or NOT. I hate that there are men who would readily take away a women's right to VOTE. It's hard sometimes to make a separation between all men and some men. And all of us, men and women have learned so many dysfunctional things, that there are even days when I don't blame men for their privilege. They were handed it as children and they adapted too. I still think it's possible to find new solutions to heal some of the strife.
I do hate orange men, but only one comes to mind at this moment in time. I think you may know who I'm talking about. And Chris, I have a surprise for you. You'll find out about it a couple of weeks from now. Can't wait to read your latest! xo
I know you don’t hate all men. I think everyone should assess everyone on a case by case basis. Great people come in all packages, and so do despicable ones. I agree that it’s absolutely batshit crazy that there are men who want to take away women’s right to vote. There are women who do too, which is even fucking crazier!
Anyway, a surprise, eh? I can’t wait to see what it is!
Good, I'm glad you know that. And is it really "hate?" I always ask myself that because it's such a strong, definite word. I think it's more frustration and resentment than actual hate. Although there are a few out there I do hate. And yes, the women? The women who work against all women's interests? That's a huge puzzle for me I don't think I'll ever fully understand. And yes, a surprise. You'll see. xo
Hi Nan! The car is my favorite screaming venue. But I don’t want to be an angry driver. Scream at home, sometimes. The problem for me is that I get mad at myself for screaming, and end up screaming at myself. I do punch pillows, but mostly when I’m crying. I get hijacked by the big emotions, and because I was raised to feel shame for expressing myself or even existing, it’s a tough one. And now, this fucking guy. There’s nothing in our evolutionary repertoire to deal with him. Thank goddess for Heather Cox Richardson, Joyce Vance, and all the rest of the brilliant women on Substack, including Nan Tepper. BTW, when I was pregnant with my daughter I craved nachos. When I was pregnant with my son, I craved bagels with lox and cream cheese. I don’t know what that means. My daughter’s pretty fierce. My son is not. But we all hate that fucking guy.
So you completely get it, what it's like. And now??? It's time to get MAD about the things that are happening, and I'm not going to hold back sharing my opinions, my suspicions, my anger that we've been taken over by the worst human something (is he a human being or just the devil incarnate?) The cruelty that he's inspired is frightening on many levels, but the problem is not ALL of us (I don't mean the women of Substack) hate him. Not enough citizens hate him and that's the other wonder of this sitch to me. But we've got work to do, and I'm applying myself to this work in as many creative ways as possible.. Love you cookie.xo
Another relatable piece, Nan. Made me think of Baticka Bats. Also, those weighted, inflatable villians kids could knock down over and over. I admit to having beat the hell out of one of those as a fully grown up human.
How didi it feel to beat on it? I remember having one of those clown inflatables when I was a kid, and definitely punched it, but I may be conflating the appearance of them in the toy market with actual ownership. I once slapped my mother across the face, and it was horrible and thrilling at the same time, and I took note at how good it felt and then promptly fell apart, my better self taking over. AND I slapped her (this is my "but") because she'd thrown her keys at my face and got me in my left eye. I was furious and fed up, obviously. Awful. I do not like violence against other people, but a round of heavy-bag punching? Right up my alley. xo
Nan, it was decades ago that I accosted the inflatable but I believe the feeling was of being unhinged. Not unlike one toke over the line, sweet Jesus, but worse.
I hear you. That's how I felt the day I slapped my mother. Entirely unhinged. And doing it to her felt like a slap in MY face, I was so shocked by my behavior and the fact that it felt good to me on some level. xo
Right there with you, Nan—the blinding rage, the despair, the push-pull between politeness and righteous anger. So grateful you're here to speak it all into being.
Love this, and the icons. I get it. I hate that I cry when I'm angry, it's humiliating. But I really only cry when I'm holding in my anger because I'm afraid to let it out. Afraid of the damage that anger can do, that it did to me. But, but...I joined Krav Maga training. Hand to hand combat. I've only been to three classes but I cam home last night with my whole body buzzing after an hour of what amounts to exercise (which I also hate) but in the form of kicks, harder kicks, punches, eye gouges, breaking out of choke holds. I felt this way with kickboxing years ago. It's the only kind of exercise I enjoy, the kind that might one day save my life (eventually. I'm not even a white belt. I'm a no belt). Full on committment and a great place to leave my anger Love you.
I have questions for you about the hand-to-hand combat, and the kicking especially...but I'll ask you privately. I hear you about holding in the anger...I think it's a part of it for me too. The damage I can do when I'm angry. First to myself, and then sometimes in my relationships with people who are important to me. And then, learning humility came next in 12-Step, because I needed to learn the difference between making amends and apologizing...Love you right back, my JSD!
I have been conditioned to cry when I am angry, because I was taught from a young age that my anger and rage were unacceptable. I was taught that raising my voice and expressing my anger was "crazy". And I turned it on myself, as so many of us have, and that turns into tears. That rage and frustration has to come out somewhere.
I am getting better at it. But I am still very much learning.
I'm glad you're on the learning bus. We have to come into our power and confidence about passionately expressing ourselves without apology. I've been watching you, Kari. I think you're doing a bang-up job on these pages. XO!
Nan, you’ve touched on every woman’s deeply ingrained fear that female rage is unacceptable. I carry both the rage and the fear. The old truism—“Depression is anger turned inward”—springs to life in this piece. By the way, I much prefer “Put Up Your Dukes.” It’s a call to action and piques curiosity.
Hi Rona, And yes, I understand why you like the first title better. i do too for all the same reasons. It's an invitation. I switched it out of a desire to attract more readers, because I think it's an important piece and I'd like a lot of people to read it. It wasn't getting much response yesterday. So I did something I've not done before; I chose the more click-baity title. But there was another aspect. One of confronting my fear about saying something so blatant. I looked inside and knew that I was on the fence about the title before I pushed "publish." So I was challenging my bravery AND doing an experiment. And double yes to the truism about anger and depression. I got more than a helping's worth of that. I want women to get angry. I want women to stop mutilating themselves becasue of the need to attract the male gaze, and the fear of disappearing if they're not viewed as young and pretty and malleable. We need to say no more. And we need to do it unapologetically. xo
When I see the words “orange menace,” I expect the expected—and shut down. The new title packs more heat in the moment, I guess, but the original one has staying power.
No. Readers like a confident writer. The time to change it back is when you revisit the piece and “orange menace” has lost its buzz. In general, I dislike clubbish titles that make assumptions about who the reader is and what she believes.
I just changed it last night. No one will even notice. I'm pretty confident most of the time, don't you think? But at the same time, I still think I'm pretty knew at all of this. xo
I will take you up on that. I'm usually happy about my titles. I think this is the first time that I was unsure. Most of the time my title will pop in before I've written my story and then they become prompts. Thanks, Rona. xo
Well done, you, for letting Mark lead you toward a solution. That's really amazing!
My rage almost always surfaces as tears. I think it's because what's beneath it is really fear. Fear of losing what's precious to me. Fear of losing control.
I know women who scream rather than hit. They find that to be the kind of catharsis they need. I cry. I write. Sometimes I write so hard I tear the page. I let my tears mix with my anger. I defend myself, audibly. I name all that's wrong in the moment. I take it outside.
I don't know if you've seen this, or if it's too soon to come in with a bit of humor, but this is one reason I worry about screaming. Well, sort of. 😅
I thought he was nekkid. But shouldn't she have screamed after she saw that? Not in preparation? Or maybe we're supposed to intuit that that's why she screamed. You'll have to forgive me. I'm not very bright! xo
Oh, you’re bright. It’s not obvious I guess. She went into the woods to “scream it out” (whatever it was that made her want to shriek) and ended up freaking out a guy she hadn’t seen, who was there already, minding his own…um…business. .
I know I am! I'm sorry about my lack of laughter. See, but this is an example of how much I've grown as a human. Instead of faking it and agreeing, I exposed my confusion and was only a little nervous about appearing completely obtuse. Nan for the win! Love to you, EB! xo
Thanks, Elizabeth. I hear that about the tears. I'm sure fear lies beneath my reactions too.
When it's distilled to it's purest explanation, and using my wise therapist's assessment: there are two things: Love and Fear, and all of our other emotions/reactions are born of one or the other. When I put it through my own testing methods, I think she's right. I get it about defending myself and my position audibly. I do that, too. I'm going to check out your video now. And I'll be back with my response.
I bet you slept great that night! Can we get a punching bag for every woman and honorary man in this country? And while you’re right, it won’t solve the bigger Cheeto faced problem, I want to believe our uprising of energy, free and untamed, is a lasting and revolt that eventually erodes at his tyranny.
Awomen to that. That night, I went to a sporting goods store and bought my own heavy bag and gloves. Hung it in my garage and had at it pretty regularly for a while.
Did you ever realize that the word "lover" can be found in the word "revolution?" I think about that all the time. xo
Frustration is about the only time I cry, and I’ve felt that salt water facial just behind my eyes more days than I can count this year. Hitting things helps. Showing up for my kid helps. And reading your honest words crafted into a bedtime story of belonging helps. Love you friend.
Way to go, Mark! And you! While, true, it won't solve the larger problems, I think we could all do with a pair of gloves and something to hit, truly. I think it probably is a mental catalyst and clearing of the head that can be helpful.
It definitely is. We're moving some chemicals around for sure. Mark's awesome. I may go back and work with him again, because I'm just dying to do burpees and ropes again. xo
I have to say, I do not agree with the ones telling you that tears are not an appropriate response to anger. There's no one way to feel mad. Tears are almost always healing or cathartic or at least cleansing in some way. I say let them spill however/whenever they come.
I hear what you're saying and don't disagree. But what they were trying to say to me, I think, was that I needed to get more honest about the anger I had locked up inside for my whole life. You know what? I wish men had more access to their tears, their vulnerability. They're busy defending, acting tough, and we're smoothing things over, and are acting afraid to assert ourselves for fear we'll be called bitches, cunts and oh no...dykes! Well. I'm already a dyke so if someone calls me that, I say, "why yes, yes, that's right, I am." But I haven't been willing to be bold enough to be proud of being called a bitch or a cunt for just being outspoken and fearless. WHY should we get called names for representing for ourselves? Call me whatever you want, I'm not hiding anymore. I like my tears a lot. But I want to flow when I'm moved, when I'm sad, when I'm grieving. I don't want to cry out of frustration or fear of saying how I really feel. That's what they were trying to get me to see. And I'm grateful for that. xo
Great post, Nan. I think we all should invest in boxing gloves and a bag to punch. I’m glad you found a way to get those feelings out of you because they do us no good at all if we store them inside. Also, I think your plan of doing something good for others in the way you are raising some money is a great plan also. It is a positive response to all the hardship we see around us. I wish I could help but my donations right now are going to my own family members who are struggling. Blessings to you. Hugs too.
Thanks, Sally! It was a great outlet, and I boxed for awhile. After Mark got me started, that was all I wanted to do...I even joined a kick-boxing gym but it was way too hard. And I didn't want to kick things. I just wanted to punch them. And good for you for helping your family. I'm not a woman of means by any stretch, but whatever I can do, I do. Because there are people out there who would think I'm living a very comfortable life compared to their circumstances. And in truth, I don't have a lot, but I have what I need. At least right now! I like helping. Cheers! xo
I saw! Thank you. You're the first one to donate to the cause. I'm so appreciative. I have a whole bunch of meals that I'll be delivering to one of the blue fridges that are scattered in Kingston for people who are new to food insecurity and still feel uncomfortable asking for help. It's a way to feed people without a face to face meeting. I love it. I've been putting food in those fridges for at least a couple of years. Thank you, again. It's a very tender time for many, as you know. xo
Beautiful. The lie detector gone mad signature! Brilliant!
Anger is such a tricky subject. When can we express it? When is it healthier not to erupt? I'm glad you found a literal punching bag. I've always wanted to try that and see how it felt.
I know what you mean about the more violent the world becomes, the less violent you get. I relate.
Tears can be angry. Cry away.
Try it! I think it might be extremely therapeutic for you. Anger is hard to parse, but I was so afraid of mine...I showed my anger by isolating myself, being passive aggressive, and manipulative, and when I'd get to my breaking point, I'd cry when I really wanted to punch something. One day when I was a teenager, my brother was annoying me, teasing me, tormenting me, and he kept opening the door to my bedroom. I couldn't get him to stop. I picked up my Baby Ben wind-up alarm clock and threw it hard not at my brother but toward my bedroom wall. It left a hole in the dry wall ruining my wallpaper. My father was furious with me. I think it was one of the few times I ever got yelled at by him. That made me angrier. Because didn't he understand that I purposely threw the clock at the wall, because I didn't want to hurt my little brother. My brother didn't get yelled at. And that made me EVEN ANGRIER. See how it works against us? Geez. xo
What I'm struck by is your awareness, at a still pretty young age, of not wanting to hurt... and taking actions not to.
Thanks, Pamela! I didn't want to hurt him, or maybe I did, but I couldn't. Instead, I did the next right thing. Sadly, my father did not agree with my harm reduction method. That hole never got fixed. I hung a picture over it. xo
I may be the only guy in here, but I know you’re cool with that. Loved this piece, Nan. Someone once told me, after I very uncharacteristically rage-yelled at someone, that I should let my anger out more often. She was right. I’m glad you’ve gotten in touch with yours.
I'm always cool with you being here, Chris. I don't hate all men. Mostly there are a lot of them I don't like very much. It's such a huge conversation. I assess men on a case by case basis. I don't love all women, I go through a similar process with them. I appreciate all people who are kind, compassionate, friendly, generous, and don't think only of themselves. I hate the structure of a culture that has created such a separation of roles, and has kept women down for centuries and treated them like possessions. I hate that we're witnessing an intent on making it harder again for women who want to create, earn, love freely, procreate or NOT. I hate that there are men who would readily take away a women's right to VOTE. It's hard sometimes to make a separation between all men and some men. And all of us, men and women have learned so many dysfunctional things, that there are even days when I don't blame men for their privilege. They were handed it as children and they adapted too. I still think it's possible to find new solutions to heal some of the strife.
I do hate orange men, but only one comes to mind at this moment in time. I think you may know who I'm talking about. And Chris, I have a surprise for you. You'll find out about it a couple of weeks from now. Can't wait to read your latest! xo
I know you don’t hate all men. I think everyone should assess everyone on a case by case basis. Great people come in all packages, and so do despicable ones. I agree that it’s absolutely batshit crazy that there are men who want to take away women’s right to vote. There are women who do too, which is even fucking crazier!
Anyway, a surprise, eh? I can’t wait to see what it is!
Good, I'm glad you know that. And is it really "hate?" I always ask myself that because it's such a strong, definite word. I think it's more frustration and resentment than actual hate. Although there are a few out there I do hate. And yes, the women? The women who work against all women's interests? That's a huge puzzle for me I don't think I'll ever fully understand. And yes, a surprise. You'll see. xo
Hi Nan! The car is my favorite screaming venue. But I don’t want to be an angry driver. Scream at home, sometimes. The problem for me is that I get mad at myself for screaming, and end up screaming at myself. I do punch pillows, but mostly when I’m crying. I get hijacked by the big emotions, and because I was raised to feel shame for expressing myself or even existing, it’s a tough one. And now, this fucking guy. There’s nothing in our evolutionary repertoire to deal with him. Thank goddess for Heather Cox Richardson, Joyce Vance, and all the rest of the brilliant women on Substack, including Nan Tepper. BTW, when I was pregnant with my daughter I craved nachos. When I was pregnant with my son, I craved bagels with lox and cream cheese. I don’t know what that means. My daughter’s pretty fierce. My son is not. But we all hate that fucking guy.
So you completely get it, what it's like. And now??? It's time to get MAD about the things that are happening, and I'm not going to hold back sharing my opinions, my suspicions, my anger that we've been taken over by the worst human something (is he a human being or just the devil incarnate?) The cruelty that he's inspired is frightening on many levels, but the problem is not ALL of us (I don't mean the women of Substack) hate him. Not enough citizens hate him and that's the other wonder of this sitch to me. But we've got work to do, and I'm applying myself to this work in as many creative ways as possible.. Love you cookie.xo
Another relatable piece, Nan. Made me think of Baticka Bats. Also, those weighted, inflatable villians kids could knock down over and over. I admit to having beat the hell out of one of those as a fully grown up human.
https://karelwoodcraft.com/en/bataka/
How didi it feel to beat on it? I remember having one of those clown inflatables when I was a kid, and definitely punched it, but I may be conflating the appearance of them in the toy market with actual ownership. I once slapped my mother across the face, and it was horrible and thrilling at the same time, and I took note at how good it felt and then promptly fell apart, my better self taking over. AND I slapped her (this is my "but") because she'd thrown her keys at my face and got me in my left eye. I was furious and fed up, obviously. Awful. I do not like violence against other people, but a round of heavy-bag punching? Right up my alley. xo
Nan, it was decades ago that I accosted the inflatable but I believe the feeling was of being unhinged. Not unlike one toke over the line, sweet Jesus, but worse.
I hear you. That's how I felt the day I slapped my mother. Entirely unhinged. And doing it to her felt like a slap in MY face, I was so shocked by my behavior and the fact that it felt good to me on some level. xo
Right there with you, Nan—the blinding rage, the despair, the push-pull between politeness and righteous anger. So grateful you're here to speak it all into being.
Thank you, lovely! xo
YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS! This..."Ladylike. I hate that expression. Ladylike. The word sparks a whole new round of rage in me." Me, too, Nan. Me, too.
I didn't know that! I want to hear more about it from you. LOVE you to the moon and beyond, my JOY! xo
Love this, and the icons. I get it. I hate that I cry when I'm angry, it's humiliating. But I really only cry when I'm holding in my anger because I'm afraid to let it out. Afraid of the damage that anger can do, that it did to me. But, but...I joined Krav Maga training. Hand to hand combat. I've only been to three classes but I cam home last night with my whole body buzzing after an hour of what amounts to exercise (which I also hate) but in the form of kicks, harder kicks, punches, eye gouges, breaking out of choke holds. I felt this way with kickboxing years ago. It's the only kind of exercise I enjoy, the kind that might one day save my life (eventually. I'm not even a white belt. I'm a no belt). Full on committment and a great place to leave my anger Love you.
I have questions for you about the hand-to-hand combat, and the kicking especially...but I'll ask you privately. I hear you about holding in the anger...I think it's a part of it for me too. The damage I can do when I'm angry. First to myself, and then sometimes in my relationships with people who are important to me. And then, learning humility came next in 12-Step, because I needed to learn the difference between making amends and apologizing...Love you right back, my JSD!
This was such a good piece. ❤️
I have been conditioned to cry when I am angry, because I was taught from a young age that my anger and rage were unacceptable. I was taught that raising my voice and expressing my anger was "crazy". And I turned it on myself, as so many of us have, and that turns into tears. That rage and frustration has to come out somewhere.
I am getting better at it. But I am still very much learning.
I'm glad you're on the learning bus. We have to come into our power and confidence about passionately expressing ourselves without apology. I've been watching you, Kari. I think you're doing a bang-up job on these pages. XO!
Nan, you’ve touched on every woman’s deeply ingrained fear that female rage is unacceptable. I carry both the rage and the fear. The old truism—“Depression is anger turned inward”—springs to life in this piece. By the way, I much prefer “Put Up Your Dukes.” It’s a call to action and piques curiosity.
Hi Rona, And yes, I understand why you like the first title better. i do too for all the same reasons. It's an invitation. I switched it out of a desire to attract more readers, because I think it's an important piece and I'd like a lot of people to read it. It wasn't getting much response yesterday. So I did something I've not done before; I chose the more click-baity title. But there was another aspect. One of confronting my fear about saying something so blatant. I looked inside and knew that I was on the fence about the title before I pushed "publish." So I was challenging my bravery AND doing an experiment. And double yes to the truism about anger and depression. I got more than a helping's worth of that. I want women to get angry. I want women to stop mutilating themselves becasue of the need to attract the male gaze, and the fear of disappearing if they're not viewed as young and pretty and malleable. We need to say no more. And we need to do it unapologetically. xo
When I see the words “orange menace,” I expect the expected—and shut down. The new title packs more heat in the moment, I guess, but the original one has staying power.
No. Readers like a confident writer. The time to change it back is when you revisit the piece and “orange menace” has lost its buzz. In general, I dislike clubbish titles that make assumptions about who the reader is and what she believes.
I just changed it last night. No one will even notice. I'm pretty confident most of the time, don't you think? But at the same time, I still think I'm pretty knew at all of this. xo
If you’re ever in doubt about a title, I’m happy to weigh in.
I will take you up on that. I'm usually happy about my titles. I think this is the first time that I was unsure. Most of the time my title will pop in before I've written my story and then they become prompts. Thanks, Rona. xo
SO! My magazine editor-in-chief-friend? Should I change it back? I can, because it's my stack and I can do whatever I want. xo Love you, Rona.
Well done, you, for letting Mark lead you toward a solution. That's really amazing!
My rage almost always surfaces as tears. I think it's because what's beneath it is really fear. Fear of losing what's precious to me. Fear of losing control.
I know women who scream rather than hit. They find that to be the kind of catharsis they need. I cry. I write. Sometimes I write so hard I tear the page. I let my tears mix with my anger. I defend myself, audibly. I name all that's wrong in the moment. I take it outside.
I don't know if you've seen this, or if it's too soon to come in with a bit of humor, but this is one reason I worry about screaming. Well, sort of. 😅
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ykITPhNEdyI
Okay, I watched it several times. I didn't really get it...can you explain? Some guy, was he nekkid? I couldn't tell! xo
Oh, oops. Didn’t mean to share something perplexing. He was 💩-ing!
I thought he was nekkid. But shouldn't she have screamed after she saw that? Not in preparation? Or maybe we're supposed to intuit that that's why she screamed. You'll have to forgive me. I'm not very bright! xo
Oh, you’re bright. It’s not obvious I guess. She went into the woods to “scream it out” (whatever it was that made her want to shriek) and ended up freaking out a guy she hadn’t seen, who was there already, minding his own…um…business. .
I know I am! I'm sorry about my lack of laughter. See, but this is an example of how much I've grown as a human. Instead of faking it and agreeing, I exposed my confusion and was only a little nervous about appearing completely obtuse. Nan for the win! Love to you, EB! xo
Thanks, Elizabeth. I hear that about the tears. I'm sure fear lies beneath my reactions too.
When it's distilled to it's purest explanation, and using my wise therapist's assessment: there are two things: Love and Fear, and all of our other emotions/reactions are born of one or the other. When I put it through my own testing methods, I think she's right. I get it about defending myself and my position audibly. I do that, too. I'm going to check out your video now. And I'll be back with my response.
I bet you slept great that night! Can we get a punching bag for every woman and honorary man in this country? And while you’re right, it won’t solve the bigger Cheeto faced problem, I want to believe our uprising of energy, free and untamed, is a lasting and revolt that eventually erodes at his tyranny.
Awomen to that. That night, I went to a sporting goods store and bought my own heavy bag and gloves. Hung it in my garage and had at it pretty regularly for a while.
Did you ever realize that the word "lover" can be found in the word "revolution?" I think about that all the time. xo
Frustration is about the only time I cry, and I’ve felt that salt water facial just behind my eyes more days than I can count this year. Hitting things helps. Showing up for my kid helps. And reading your honest words crafted into a bedtime story of belonging helps. Love you friend.
I adore you Jess. You're just amazing in every way. Oh god, I so want to hang out with you in person. I really do. xo
Way to go, Mark! And you! While, true, it won't solve the larger problems, I think we could all do with a pair of gloves and something to hit, truly. I think it probably is a mental catalyst and clearing of the head that can be helpful.
It definitely is. We're moving some chemicals around for sure. Mark's awesome. I may go back and work with him again, because I'm just dying to do burpees and ropes again. xo
I have to say, I do not agree with the ones telling you that tears are not an appropriate response to anger. There's no one way to feel mad. Tears are almost always healing or cathartic or at least cleansing in some way. I say let them spill however/whenever they come.
I hear what you're saying and don't disagree. But what they were trying to say to me, I think, was that I needed to get more honest about the anger I had locked up inside for my whole life. You know what? I wish men had more access to their tears, their vulnerability. They're busy defending, acting tough, and we're smoothing things over, and are acting afraid to assert ourselves for fear we'll be called bitches, cunts and oh no...dykes! Well. I'm already a dyke so if someone calls me that, I say, "why yes, yes, that's right, I am." But I haven't been willing to be bold enough to be proud of being called a bitch or a cunt for just being outspoken and fearless. WHY should we get called names for representing for ourselves? Call me whatever you want, I'm not hiding anymore. I like my tears a lot. But I want to flow when I'm moved, when I'm sad, when I'm grieving. I don't want to cry out of frustration or fear of saying how I really feel. That's what they were trying to get me to see. And I'm grateful for that. xo
Totally get that. And I agree. Authenticity is the key to everything.
Yup. It is. xo
Great post, Nan. I think we all should invest in boxing gloves and a bag to punch. I’m glad you found a way to get those feelings out of you because they do us no good at all if we store them inside. Also, I think your plan of doing something good for others in the way you are raising some money is a great plan also. It is a positive response to all the hardship we see around us. I wish I could help but my donations right now are going to my own family members who are struggling. Blessings to you. Hugs too.
Thanks, Sally! It was a great outlet, and I boxed for awhile. After Mark got me started, that was all I wanted to do...I even joined a kick-boxing gym but it was way too hard. And I didn't want to kick things. I just wanted to punch them. And good for you for helping your family. I'm not a woman of means by any stretch, but whatever I can do, I do. Because there are people out there who would think I'm living a very comfortable life compared to their circumstances. And in truth, I don't have a lot, but I have what I need. At least right now! I like helping. Cheers! xo
So much fun, I hit the bag and popped him one.
I saw! Thank you. You're the first one to donate to the cause. I'm so appreciative. I have a whole bunch of meals that I'll be delivering to one of the blue fridges that are scattered in Kingston for people who are new to food insecurity and still feel uncomfortable asking for help. It's a way to feed people without a face to face meeting. I love it. I've been putting food in those fridges for at least a couple of years. Thank you, again. It's a very tender time for many, as you know. xo