Awesome! I loved watching you dance behind Twila. So glad you didn't listen to the nay-saying voice. That would have been sad for a long time after, I think. So courageous.
Thanks. I love that I have a video of it! I had fun that day, even with the negative voices popping in here and there. Those voices don't take up as much space in my head anymore. They still exist, but they get a lot less air-time. xo
What a fun column, and so cool that you did this, Nan! You are front and center in the video! Also, 1) that movie HAIR was huge for me when it came out. 2) I got to see a Twyla Tharp production in the last ‘80s and was so wowed. The other choreographer who similarly wowed me was Mark Morris. He inspired me when I was an unpublished writer, saying in response to critics who wrote that he was too heavy and wasn’t a real dancer: “Here is what makes me a dancer: I’m dancing. Okay?” From then on I told myself: “Here is what makes me a writer: I’m writing. Okay?”
Oh, I love that Mark Morris quote. I liked his work, too. And yes, people used to ask me if I was a writer, because it's the company I keep. My response was always a shy "I write." None of that anymore. I'm a writer. And I dance occasionally. And when I do, I'm a dancer! xo
Nan, I don’t get your essays in my mailbox. I don’t know why so I always have to go looking for them. I am so glad I stopped by and found this. What a gem what fun!!! I loved it so cool for you to have this red discovery of another aspect of who you are. Lovely.
Love this piece! Somewhat reminds me of myself…especially when I’m dancing around the house and my family rolls their eyes at me (I’m sure lovingly and awe and admiration, wink wink)
Oh, shit. I should change the name of the story to Twisting with Twyla. It's better. I can do that, right? Because I'm in charge! It was special. Thanks for reading!
As a former competitive dancer who always ALWAYS felt too big to be on stage during the dress rehearsal but absolutely marvelous once the show began, seeing this video is watching you experience joy in real time. Thank you for sharing, friend. May Twyla (not Twilla) always inspire your two left feet to get movin! 😘
I hear you. Dancing is magnificent. I'm probably more coordinated than I give myself credit for, but I don't think it comes naturally. Doesn't matter. It's the joy that I'm after! xo
Thanks for posting this. I listened to your voiceover and loved it. If that's not life, taking risks with equal parts fear and excitement, I don't know what is. I was actually thrilled to discover we're the same age, give or take a few months. I tried out for cheerleading in that era, 1977-78. I wanted to try it despite zero training or skills. I failed miserably but it propelled me to take bigger risks later in life. I applaud your bravery and willingness to get in the arena. The fact you have video is incredible. Brava, Nan!
Cheerleading would have been the scariest for me. And I didn’t like sports! So there’s that. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Two old ladies who still play hard!
I'm sorry Twyla Tharp wasn't quite what you expected, but what a great story. Great that you pushed past your fear and did it - and had someone to call to help with what to wear. The video is priceless.
That is amazing!! And so inspiring!
Thanks.
Awesome! I loved watching you dance behind Twila. So glad you didn't listen to the nay-saying voice. That would have been sad for a long time after, I think. So courageous.
Thanks. I love that I have a video of it! I had fun that day, even with the negative voices popping in here and there. Those voices don't take up as much space in my head anymore. They still exist, but they get a lot less air-time. xo
What a fun column, and so cool that you did this, Nan! You are front and center in the video! Also, 1) that movie HAIR was huge for me when it came out. 2) I got to see a Twyla Tharp production in the last ‘80s and was so wowed. The other choreographer who similarly wowed me was Mark Morris. He inspired me when I was an unpublished writer, saying in response to critics who wrote that he was too heavy and wasn’t a real dancer: “Here is what makes me a dancer: I’m dancing. Okay?” From then on I told myself: “Here is what makes me a writer: I’m writing. Okay?”
Oh, I love that Mark Morris quote. I liked his work, too. And yes, people used to ask me if I was a writer, because it's the company I keep. My response was always a shy "I write." None of that anymore. I'm a writer. And I dance occasionally. And when I do, I'm a dancer! xo
Nan, I don’t get your essays in my mailbox. I don’t know why so I always have to go looking for them. I am so glad I stopped by and found this. What a gem what fun!!! I loved it so cool for you to have this red discovery of another aspect of who you are. Lovely.
Thanks Prajna! I wonder why you aren’t getting them? Have you checked spam?
I get very few by email so I don’t understand yet how the whole Substack thing works. I only find things by going to the app most the time.
You may have that notification, receiving, turned off in your panel. Because the email is definitely sending to you. xo
Love this piece! Somewhat reminds me of myself…especially when I’m dancing around the house and my family rolls their eyes at me (I’m sure lovingly and awe and admiration, wink wink)
Thanks, Lori!
I love this so much. I love the video so much. Did I say I love you so much? Well, I do!
Thanks, love, love, love! xo
i love this story SO MUCH. thank you for sharing, Nan. yes to feeling the fear, shame, and uncertainty and doing it anyway - with heart and joy. xoxo
Thanks, Kate! It was quite the day for me. I loved it, even when I was feeling less than confident...being there was sweet! xo
Terrific images here, Nan. I love envisioning you in your fancy get up with your weight glasses. To fearlessness, to joy, to dancing.
My weight glasses? Wha? Thanks, lovely! xo
DH! I should really look before posting. Autocorrect!!! White glasses of course. :)
A twist with Twyla! Very cool. I'm always in awe of dancers. What a special time.
Oh, shit. I should change the name of the story to Twisting with Twyla. It's better. I can do that, right? Because I'm in charge! It was special. Thanks for reading!
It’s your stack. Happy to inspire.
What an incredible story, Nan! So cool that you got to dance with her!
Thanks, Chris and really, I got to dance behind her not with her, but it counts, right?
I watched the video. You were dancing on the same stage. As far as I’m concerned that’s dancing with her.
Okay. Fine. I was dancing with her. Yes. I was. You're right! xo
There you go!
As a former competitive dancer who always ALWAYS felt too big to be on stage during the dress rehearsal but absolutely marvelous once the show began, seeing this video is watching you experience joy in real time. Thank you for sharing, friend. May Twyla (not Twilla) always inspire your two left feet to get movin! 😘
I hear you. Dancing is magnificent. I'm probably more coordinated than I give myself credit for, but I don't think it comes naturally. Doesn't matter. It's the joy that I'm after! xo
Always the joy. And part of that joy is having to work for it...and not. Love that.
Yes.
You amaze me at every turn.
You my dear, are a dear. Thanks, Kara! xo
Super cool!!! Love It, all about it. Joy, fun, feeling the feels and doing it anyway. xx
Thanks, lovey! xo
You were SO brave!! And? You looked adorable, you costume was perfect.
Thanks for this vulnerable share.
Thanks, Teyani! It was a great experience. Glad I showed up for myself. I would have really regretted opting out. xo
Nan,
Thanks for posting this. I listened to your voiceover and loved it. If that's not life, taking risks with equal parts fear and excitement, I don't know what is. I was actually thrilled to discover we're the same age, give or take a few months. I tried out for cheerleading in that era, 1977-78. I wanted to try it despite zero training or skills. I failed miserably but it propelled me to take bigger risks later in life. I applaud your bravery and willingness to get in the arena. The fact you have video is incredible. Brava, Nan!
Cheerleading would have been the scariest for me. And I didn’t like sports! So there’s that. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Two old ladies who still play hard!
Love the essay discovery.
I'm sorry Twyla Tharp wasn't quite what you expected, but what a great story. Great that you pushed past your fear and did it - and had someone to call to help with what to wear. The video is priceless.