Listen now | I’ve had an eating disorder since childhood. This story was my debut essay that I published on Substack on Jan. 17, 2024. On the eve of my first anniversary, I’m launching my podcast. It’s great to be here. Enjoy!
Loved this, Nan. We have a lot in common. I self medicated with food for many years, since I was a child. Have gone through anorexia and bulimia for years. Then I swapped food for alcohol 30 years ago. But it's all part of the same substance abuse disorder. Happily I've been in 12-step recovery for a number of years, and being a member of that loving fellowship has made all the difference. I've learned to face myself, know myself, be accountable for myself, and ultimately love myself. I've learned to have moire self-regard, and that has prevented me from the desire to self-destruct with food or any other substance. I'm really happy to know you, and look forward from more from you.
Thank you for your kind and personal comments. 12-step has utterly transformed my life. I'm still struggling with food, trying to find balance with it, but I'm so much happier, and the biggest breakthrough for me so far has been finally standing in my truth as a writer. The last year and a half has been phenomenal. The Promises are coming true in ways I could never have imagined. And thank you, thank you for supporting my work by becoming a paid subscriber. That was such a lovely surprise! xo
This is so different--hearing your voice, your inflections--than reading the words on a page! I think I read too fast. Your pace is perfect for allowing the listener to really get what you're saying. Congrats on the successful launch! XXX
Thanks, Ann! I guess you're not aware that I've been adding my recordings to the weekly posts for months? I'm going back to the beginning and recording the posts as I've written them, because I'm a performer at heart. And now the wider world in Substack and Apple Podcasts will hopefully find me and listen, too! xo
Nope. They're been at the top of each emailed post. But now, because you are a paid subscriber you'll have access to the podcast from here on out. This first episode was free. I now have to figure out what I'm doing for my free subscribers, because I really don't want anyone to lose access. We'll see! xo
I love your voiceovers Nan! I self soothed with food in my 20s so I understand it has nothing to do with "willpower". In my case, my anxiety (the feeling I was trying to soothe with food) got so bad that I started taking antidepressants and never stopped. Depression runs in my family and I know I have a predisposition for it (in addition to some good old fashioned childhood trauma). Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy changed my life for the better. I've also been doing some EMDR the last few years and that helps too. You are amazing Nan, and I'm so inspired by your writing. Wishing you a happy one year Substack anniversary, you rock! XO 🎉🥰❤️😍
Thanks for sharing that, Amy. Depression runs in my family, too. And some good old-fashioned trauma as well. And we're graceful warriors dealing with what life hands us and making good things come out of the challenges we've encountered. I'm so happy to know you.
Nan, you inspire. I love your voice and sincerity coming thru. As a woman at 6-feet-5-inches tall, I understand body consciousness. Sometimes shame even when my body was "theoretically" the right size. Keep recording!
You’re awesome. I wish I could use the music from West Side Story. I know all the lyrics. I’m a show tune girl for sure. If you have any advice for me, I know you know how to do this I’d love to talk. I don’t know that much about podcasting yet. xoxo!
Thank you for sharing, Nan! The disconnect with our feelings is so real — such a powerful, disruptive, all-encompassing undercurrent. Fat is just another adjective.
You have such a beautiful radio voice. Also, congratulations on this anniversary and the launch of something new! Exciting times 😍
I’m glad I’m already a paid subscriber. If I weren’t, I would subscribe now. Your words are so powerful, so touching and so inspiring 🤗 Looking forward to our call tomorrow.
Thank you, Mansi! Going forward, the podcast will be for paid subscribers. I'm just getting the ins and outs of podcasting, so I have some things to work on! I'm so excited about all of it. I'm happy you're listening! xo
This spoke to me so much! Beautifully written and read ❤️
Thanks, Mary-Caroline! Looking forward to your take on some of the others. So glad you're here. xo
Loved this, Nan. We have a lot in common. I self medicated with food for many years, since I was a child. Have gone through anorexia and bulimia for years. Then I swapped food for alcohol 30 years ago. But it's all part of the same substance abuse disorder. Happily I've been in 12-step recovery for a number of years, and being a member of that loving fellowship has made all the difference. I've learned to face myself, know myself, be accountable for myself, and ultimately love myself. I've learned to have moire self-regard, and that has prevented me from the desire to self-destruct with food or any other substance. I'm really happy to know you, and look forward from more from you.
Thank you for your kind and personal comments. 12-step has utterly transformed my life. I'm still struggling with food, trying to find balance with it, but I'm so much happier, and the biggest breakthrough for me so far has been finally standing in my truth as a writer. The last year and a half has been phenomenal. The Promises are coming true in ways I could never have imagined. And thank you, thank you for supporting my work by becoming a paid subscriber. That was such a lovely surprise! xo
This is so different--hearing your voice, your inflections--than reading the words on a page! I think I read too fast. Your pace is perfect for allowing the listener to really get what you're saying. Congrats on the successful launch! XXX
Thanks, Ann! I guess you're not aware that I've been adding my recordings to the weekly posts for months? I'm going back to the beginning and recording the posts as I've written them, because I'm a performer at heart. And now the wider world in Substack and Apple Podcasts will hopefully find me and listen, too! xo
Perhaps because I only recently became a paid subscriber? I don't know.
Nope. They're been at the top of each emailed post. But now, because you are a paid subscriber you'll have access to the podcast from here on out. This first episode was free. I now have to figure out what I'm doing for my free subscribers, because I really don't want anyone to lose access. We'll see! xo
Congrats on the first podcast, and on your 1-year, Nan!! 💜
Thank you, Troy! xo
I love your voiceovers Nan! I self soothed with food in my 20s so I understand it has nothing to do with "willpower". In my case, my anxiety (the feeling I was trying to soothe with food) got so bad that I started taking antidepressants and never stopped. Depression runs in my family and I know I have a predisposition for it (in addition to some good old fashioned childhood trauma). Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy changed my life for the better. I've also been doing some EMDR the last few years and that helps too. You are amazing Nan, and I'm so inspired by your writing. Wishing you a happy one year Substack anniversary, you rock! XO 🎉🥰❤️😍
Thanks for sharing that, Amy. Depression runs in my family, too. And some good old-fashioned trauma as well. And we're graceful warriors dealing with what life hands us and making good things come out of the challenges we've encountered. I'm so happy to know you.
Nan, you inspire. I love your voice and sincerity coming thru. As a woman at 6-feet-5-inches tall, I understand body consciousness. Sometimes shame even when my body was "theoretically" the right size. Keep recording!
Thanks, Donna! I love recording my stories. I’m a ham at heart, albeit a kosher ham, and I’ve got all kinds of stories. Have a good night!
Wait…do I hear clicking of heels or snapping of fingers a lá West Side Story? I love it!! 🫰🫰🫰
You’re awesome. I wish I could use the music from West Side Story. I know all the lyrics. I’m a show tune girl for sure. If you have any advice for me, I know you know how to do this I’d love to talk. I don’t know that much about podcasting yet. xoxo!
Thank you for sharing, Nan! The disconnect with our feelings is so real — such a powerful, disruptive, all-encompassing undercurrent. Fat is just another adjective.
You have such a beautiful radio voice. Also, congratulations on this anniversary and the launch of something new! Exciting times 😍
I’m glad I’m already a paid subscriber. If I weren’t, I would subscribe now. Your words are so powerful, so touching and so inspiring 🤗 Looking forward to our call tomorrow.
Me, too! Off to bed with me. I've got a big day tomorrow. xo
Thank you, Mansi! Going forward, the podcast will be for paid subscribers. I'm just getting the ins and outs of podcasting, so I have some things to work on! I'm so excited about all of it. I'm happy you're listening! xo
Hey Nan. Thank you for sharing. I hope you're doing well.
Hi Asha. Happy to reconnect. Hope you’re good, too!