18 Comments
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Marguerite Hinojosa's avatar

It's like you've read my mind. I lobe the insights and the growth. Powerful essay!

Joy Turner's avatar

This: "my carefully crafted comfort zone" has been my downfall, as well. Getting curious has helped me move into my getting to know Joy phase. For which I am grateful. Thank you for your beautiful essays.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, Joy. Delving into being curious instead of being resistant is recent for me. It requires a mindful, patient attitude most of the time, a pause, which is sometimes hard for me…because I’ve been a reactor for so long! Good lessons.

Nancy Jainchill's avatar

I sure get this. How old was I when I went back to get my MFA in writing? Your honesty is admirable and eye-opening learning about me as much as about you! xo

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks, Nancy. You've been an inspiration to me in your willingness to go after the things that are important to you. And to pursue them with such passion and belief in yourself.

Nancy Jainchill's avatar

Thanks so much. I don't know if it's so much belief in myself as "act as if." A saying from my past days working with drug treatment programs. xoxo

Nan Tepper's avatar

Seems to be working for you! A useful tool.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thanks Amy, again, for your always thoughtful responses. Yes. You are just meeting me in these stories. There’s more to come, I promise. My life has definitely been interesting, and extremely challenging at times. I think I’m moving into a period of peace and acceptance, and more moments of appreciating the joys in life, even in the midst of what feels like growing chaos. I need peace. I need quiet. I need to write and share and be part of this world wherever I might fit in. And I need laughter. Oh, and love! All the best to you.

Amy Cowen's avatar

"I’ve said no to so many things in my life. No to travel, to new experiences, to anything, ANYTHING outside of my carefully crafted comfort zone."

Having "read" you for a few months now, your no-ness comes somehow as a surprise! I will guess that is because those of us meeting you on the page at this point are seeing a newly empowered Nan, the one who can fly. Me.... I might take a hundred years debating it and agonizing about it, but I'm still almost always going to say no. I think you've got a much better approach, and I hope your "yesses" are leading to lots of new discoveries.

Nina Shengold's avatar

Glad you've discovered your YES to writing! But here's a great example of "Don't tell me what to do" in action: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMxtbAP2cyU Enjoy!

Nan Tepper's avatar

OMGoddess, Nina! I love this. I remember when it was first released. We thought things were scary then. Couldn't have imagined how bad it would get. KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT, cause baby we're in deep shit. But I'll never give up. Don't tell me what to do! Love Lesley Gore. Thanks for sharing. xoxo

Karen Teitelbaum's avatar

Awesome my dear Nan. So happy you are discovering your YES! What a contribution to all of us wherever our NO kicks in!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you Karen. Yes, yes, yes!

Meryl Soto-Schwartz's avatar

Nan, I am so impressed by all the work you’ve done to get where you are now, glad you’re claiming your identity as a writer, and grateful I get to be one of your readers.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you so much Meryl. I love being a writer. I'm starting to get more comfortable saying I am one! xoxo

Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

“I was a NO waiting to happen because input from others made me feel small, stupid, and inconsequential.”

Love this line.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, Jodi!

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May 9, 2024
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Nan Tepper's avatar

Balance is key. I'm proud of you. Yes can be as hard on us as no. And I completely relate. I did the "yes" thing too, much to my detriment. I was saying yes to things I should have been saying no to, and no to things that I might have said yes to, that would have benefitted me!