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I'm just getting to this outstanding essay. Nan, you remind me (us) that this kind of unflinching exploration is the work and the reward. I could feel the knots (of generational dysfunction and trauma) loosening as I read it. When we do this work it ripples out further than our own families, I think. I'm so glad you included your endnote. Amazing. You are freeing her, too. I remember when my daughter wrote a play about "Me" and our family dysfunction/trauma. When I went to a performance people were worried about how I would take it. They didn't have to worry it was so cathartic. I felt unbelievably liberated and rejeuvenated, seen, and mostly grateful. It's what life is all about. Brava, you!

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Thank you, Emily. I'm glad you had such a freeing experience. I feel that at this stage, more will be revealed to help us both (me and my mother).

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