Hello, Groot! Uh-um, I meant Nan! Nice to meet you :-) I swear that a similar thing happened to me when someone asked how I was doing. I uttered, "Groode"--and that was without the knowlege of the Groot characater!
This is a wonderfully told story of your journey of recovery and self-acceptance. I'm so glad you are inspired to write more as you write more. At times when I feel stuck or have a writer's block, I tell myself that I'm just brewing or fermenting good stuff. And it seems that that was what you had been doing before you let the "floodgate" open, isn't it?
I feel that we can all learn how to be resilient from trees, and Groot in particular!
I love this, Nan. For as long as I can remember, I’ve experienced a profound disconnect between what’s internal and verbal expression. (Thankfully, I don’t experience this with writing, which flows fluently.) While I haven’t reached the same place as you in closing that gap, the shift you describe in recovery feels very alive for me, too. Perhaps, one day, the verbal expression part will follow!
Another beautiful, thoughtful and thought-evoking piece. When I read the opening lines, I assumed "Groot" was a portmanteau of good and great. I love how you drew me in and built this essay from the lightheartedness of superhero movies to the profound insights you are discovering. (As someone who has known you for a long time, it surprised me at first to read that you struggle for words in the moment and need the same type of pause as I do--and also have only come to in recent years. Perhaps that's why we're writers!)
I think that must be it. I can make conversation with very little effort and feel no blocks when it comes to expressing my opinions. It’s the confronting stuff that comes up, especially if I think I’m “in trouble” or am failing in some way where I tend to freeze. And I’m finally giving myself some leeway and asking for space to think before I blurt out words that don’t represent my truth in the moment.
💯 Completely and totally - I could write a whole post about this too, but I'm glad you did, Nan - and I applaud your journey. Two more three word responses that I've adopted to express the unexpressable: "I am uncomfortable" (from an old friend) and "I am confused" (from Tom Pendergast of Out Over My Skis.) 💜
I particularly love the litany of what you watched... a crash course in super hero movies! I think it is a good thing to slow down and think before we answer. I understand your sense of being "frozen" (deer in headlights) when put on the spot -- but I really think that what you are doing....embracing your desire to take time and think something through.... is excellent. I think that kind of intentionality is healthy for all of us. I take that time more now than I used to, but I know I often wish I had stopped and pondered a reply rather than answering on the spot or before really thinking something through. Love seeing your plans for a new substack, by the way.
Thanks, Amy! Putting the pause into practice, I am seeing that the more I pause, the more I'm able to see myself clearly. And, I'm looking forward to building the new stack!
You had me at Groot! ;-) Marvel fan here, and I totally agree - best to watch them in timeline order (thank you Disney plus)
A reframe - I like to think that people can understand Groot because they're finally opening up and genuinely listening. It's the 'empathy' gene in me saying that with time, patience and openness there's no language barrier.
Sometimes, we put so much burden on ourselves to communicate a message (verbal, body language and written) that we can forget that the receiver has a key role to play, too.
My most favourite quote and something I've kept close as a caregiver: 'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.' Viktor E. Frankl from 'Man's Search For Meaning'.
I love your reframe. I think I was trying to express some of it at the end, and your favorite quote is spot on. I've never read it, but this is what I'm working toward in my life and my recovery. That's a keeper! Thank you, Victoria! I really may have to go watch the movies again! xoxo
Amazing. Love this! I'm sure you've not had the opportunity to delve into the world of Pokémon. My 2 boys grew up with this world and still dabble in it. The Pokémon characters are actually quite profound, and they represent basic elements of the world, like fire and water, but also made up ones like psychic and flying and electric. These mostly refer to their powers of offense and defense,, I'm mentioning this to you because Pokémon, like Groot, can only say their names. They are all action and the one word. Just like you describe with Groot, it's the context and inflection, tone and volume of how they say their name that communicates their emotions, messages and moods. Thanks for the nudge to think outside my work and other stuff dominating my life right now. Keep writing! Keep sharing! Keep inspiring!
Oh! I loved reading this—every bit! I didn’t catch it, but if you or your girlfriend (or collaboratively) came up with a watch guide, how you listed it would be the thing!
It was very grooooot!
Out of curiosity:
Would you ever re-post your work in general? And, if you vibes with the publication would you put it on a watch guide 😬? If not, why?
I'm not sure I understand your question about reposting my work, but I'll look at the link you included. I have a Medium account, and I've been testing it by reposting some of the earlier essays. I'm glad you enjoyed the post! Here's a list we worked with when we began the trek into the Marvel Universe: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/movies/a38453249/best-marvel-movies-in-order/
Love this. Love Groot. This evening I think I will watch guardians of the galaxy again. So Lucy of what you’ve written rings true for me, reacting in the moment, saying the wrong thing, being so much more articulate when I can write, and the more I write, the more I write. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful, honest, authentic piece 💛
I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. I know, after writing this piece, I've been feeling like I may have to go back to the Marvel Cinematic Universe for a dose of Groot. Keep writing! xoxo
I did a bit of deductive reasoning, and I kind of figured that's what you were saying. And thanks for the inspiration: I LOVE LUCY! Someone to write about, for sure.
I love this one. I've never watched those movies. And I likely won't, but your relationship with Groot is endearing. And I particularly liked the first part of this piece where you talk about your experience being introduced to this new world and Groot.
NAN!!! I love Groot too!!! My favorite superhero is not really a traditional superhero, but it's the Ents from Lord of the Rings :) also a tree 💚
So much of what you said I really relate too. I tend to speak before I think and will let words fly like daggers if I'm feeling defensive. And then I'll immediately shut down. I have learned that the best thing I can do is say how I feel and then ask for space to process everything. I cannot think clearly if I'm perceiving being attacked.
I love how you tied together the ability to listen and hear once you know the other. I believe that makes all the difference in relationships :)
Thank you for this piece today! It'll stay with me for a long while 💚💚
Maybe we are Groot! (Or at least a distant cousin 💚)
You're not alone >> "I cannot think clearly if I'm perceiving being attacked."
No one can (unless maybe His Holiness the Dalai Lama).
It's your brain on fear. Your frontal lobe (reasoning, empathy, executive function) gets flooded with chemicals and does not function. A deep breath can reset your vagal nerve, so you CAN LISTEN, but who can remember to do that when we're feeling defensive!!? 🤷🏼♀️
Yes, to all of what you've shared, and it's also a trauma response that needs to be addressed before you can sometimes remember to self-regulate, in my personal experience. And the Dalai Lama is a man, more enlightened than most possibly, but he's got triggers and biases, too, just like any other human being.
Somebody said His Holiness would totally lose it if he had to spend a weekend with his family (he got inducted so he missed out on a lot of that trauma!)
Maybe we ARE Groot! I'm so happy that you've shared your experience here. I think so many of us are reactors. For me, it's definitely fear-based. Slowing down, and staying grounded in the present allows me to access my higher self, but wow, does it take practice, and self-love. xoxo
Self-love, self-trust, and self-compassion = totally the secret to the Universe and everything! If you care about kindness to others, human evolution, etc. (PS How can we reach those still in the eye-rolling phase???)
I was an eye-roller, too! Also all the inner child language, but now I know it's real, and something that I need to acknowledge in my quest for healing and recovery. I was pretty arrogant about my opinions. Not as much anymore. Getting more humble has been very helpful.
We contain multitudes. Parts work has been my most CREATIVE, humbling, deepening and rewarding experience so far. The gift that keeps on giving. I highly encourage diving in. Especially if you've ever had one moment of trauma.
I resonated with so much of this piece Nan. I too shut down and struggle to express myself in the moment. Writing is often how I’m best able to express my thoughts fully. I feel a kind of eloquence when writing that I rarely experience when I’m speaking. And I LOVE Groot as a metaphor for all of this :)
Thanks, Danielle. Part of this adventure for me is not even knowing what's going to arise for me as a topic. Groot magically appeared on Sunday, when I wasn't sure at all what to write about! That's magic!
I am A MULLER! It has taken me so long to figure out.
Thank you for sharing your insights and writing.
Thank you, Jessie for readling and commenting! Mullers unite!
Hello, Groot! Uh-um, I meant Nan! Nice to meet you :-) I swear that a similar thing happened to me when someone asked how I was doing. I uttered, "Groode"--and that was without the knowlege of the Groot characater!
This is a wonderfully told story of your journey of recovery and self-acceptance. I'm so glad you are inspired to write more as you write more. At times when I feel stuck or have a writer's block, I tell myself that I'm just brewing or fermenting good stuff. And it seems that that was what you had been doing before you let the "floodgate" open, isn't it?
I feel that we can all learn how to be resilient from trees, and Groot in particular!
I love your comments, especially about brewing/fermenting ideas. I let mine simmer, or sure! I am Groot. I mean Nan. I am Groot-Nan! xoxo
Oh, I love simmer!!! What a great analogy! Yes to that! And I love Groot-Nan, too :-))))
Thanks, Louisa!
I love this, Nan. For as long as I can remember, I’ve experienced a profound disconnect between what’s internal and verbal expression. (Thankfully, I don’t experience this with writing, which flows fluently.) While I haven’t reached the same place as you in closing that gap, the shift you describe in recovery feels very alive for me, too. Perhaps, one day, the verbal expression part will follow!
It’s super challenging. I’m definitely not all the way there, yet. But it’s something I’m conscious of now, because of my 12 step work.
Another beautiful, thoughtful and thought-evoking piece. When I read the opening lines, I assumed "Groot" was a portmanteau of good and great. I love how you drew me in and built this essay from the lightheartedness of superhero movies to the profound insights you are discovering. (As someone who has known you for a long time, it surprised me at first to read that you struggle for words in the moment and need the same type of pause as I do--and also have only come to in recent years. Perhaps that's why we're writers!)
I think that must be it. I can make conversation with very little effort and feel no blocks when it comes to expressing my opinions. It’s the confronting stuff that comes up, especially if I think I’m “in trouble” or am failing in some way where I tend to freeze. And I’m finally giving myself some leeway and asking for space to think before I blurt out words that don’t represent my truth in the moment.
Thx as always for sharing your journey, Nan! I so appreciate your story telling and creativity in the written word. Thx!!
Thank you, Pamela! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it.
💯 Completely and totally - I could write a whole post about this too, but I'm glad you did, Nan - and I applaud your journey. Two more three word responses that I've adopted to express the unexpressable: "I am uncomfortable" (from an old friend) and "I am confused" (from Tom Pendergast of Out Over My Skis.) 💜
Thank you, Mr. Troy! I’d like to hear more about your 3 word responses. xoxo
Love it Nan.
Thanks, Mary Anne!
I particularly love the litany of what you watched... a crash course in super hero movies! I think it is a good thing to slow down and think before we answer. I understand your sense of being "frozen" (deer in headlights) when put on the spot -- but I really think that what you are doing....embracing your desire to take time and think something through.... is excellent. I think that kind of intentionality is healthy for all of us. I take that time more now than I used to, but I know I often wish I had stopped and pondered a reply rather than answering on the spot or before really thinking something through. Love seeing your plans for a new substack, by the way.
Thanks, Amy! Putting the pause into practice, I am seeing that the more I pause, the more I'm able to see myself clearly. And, I'm looking forward to building the new stack!
You had me at Groot! ;-) Marvel fan here, and I totally agree - best to watch them in timeline order (thank you Disney plus)
A reframe - I like to think that people can understand Groot because they're finally opening up and genuinely listening. It's the 'empathy' gene in me saying that with time, patience and openness there's no language barrier.
Sometimes, we put so much burden on ourselves to communicate a message (verbal, body language and written) that we can forget that the receiver has a key role to play, too.
My most favourite quote and something I've kept close as a caregiver: 'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.' Viktor E. Frankl from 'Man's Search For Meaning'.
Easy to quote, MUCH harder to employ!
I love your reframe. I think I was trying to express some of it at the end, and your favorite quote is spot on. I've never read it, but this is what I'm working toward in my life and my recovery. That's a keeper! Thank you, Victoria! I really may have to go watch the movies again! xoxo
Amazing. Love this! I'm sure you've not had the opportunity to delve into the world of Pokémon. My 2 boys grew up with this world and still dabble in it. The Pokémon characters are actually quite profound, and they represent basic elements of the world, like fire and water, but also made up ones like psychic and flying and electric. These mostly refer to their powers of offense and defense,, I'm mentioning this to you because Pokémon, like Groot, can only say their names. They are all action and the one word. Just like you describe with Groot, it's the context and inflection, tone and volume of how they say their name that communicates their emotions, messages and moods. Thanks for the nudge to think outside my work and other stuff dominating my life right now. Keep writing! Keep sharing! Keep inspiring!
Great! Who knew Pokemon could be excellent storytelling teachers! Also, they transform -like any good character arc.
Thanks for taking the time to say all this, Melissa. I know of Pokémon, but that’s about it. Now, I'm going to have to delve deeper! Very cool. xoxo
Oh! I loved reading this—every bit! I didn’t catch it, but if you or your girlfriend (or collaboratively) came up with a watch guide, how you listed it would be the thing!
It was very grooooot!
Out of curiosity:
Would you ever re-post your work in general? And, if you vibes with the publication would you put it on a watch guide 😬? If not, why?
Even though it’s for a paid Medium membership, I saw this and thought of you/this article there too: https://christineschoenwald.medium.com/submission-guidelines-27f494f7a446
I'm not sure I understand your question about reposting my work, but I'll look at the link you included. I have a Medium account, and I've been testing it by reposting some of the earlier essays. I'm glad you enjoyed the post! Here's a list we worked with when we began the trek into the Marvel Universe: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/movies/a38453249/best-marvel-movies-in-order/
Grooot!
Love this. Love Groot. This evening I think I will watch guardians of the galaxy again. So Lucy of what you’ve written rings true for me, reacting in the moment, saying the wrong thing, being so much more articulate when I can write, and the more I write, the more I write. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful, honest, authentic piece 💛
I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. I know, after writing this piece, I've been feeling like I may have to go back to the Marvel Cinematic Universe for a dose of Groot. Keep writing! xoxo
I will! And Lucy…. Not sure how she made it into my comment, should have been ‘so much’ of what you’ve written rings true!! 🙈✨
I did a bit of deductive reasoning, and I kind of figured that's what you were saying. And thanks for the inspiration: I LOVE LUCY! Someone to write about, for sure.
I love this one. I've never watched those movies. And I likely won't, but your relationship with Groot is endearing. And I particularly liked the first part of this piece where you talk about your experience being introduced to this new world and Groot.
Thanks, Nancy! I understand about not watching the movies. I'm glad I did, though. xoxo
I love Groot, too
He's the bomb!
NAN!!! I love Groot too!!! My favorite superhero is not really a traditional superhero, but it's the Ents from Lord of the Rings :) also a tree 💚
So much of what you said I really relate too. I tend to speak before I think and will let words fly like daggers if I'm feeling defensive. And then I'll immediately shut down. I have learned that the best thing I can do is say how I feel and then ask for space to process everything. I cannot think clearly if I'm perceiving being attacked.
I love how you tied together the ability to listen and hear once you know the other. I believe that makes all the difference in relationships :)
Thank you for this piece today! It'll stay with me for a long while 💚💚
Maybe we are Groot! (Or at least a distant cousin 💚)
You're not alone >> "I cannot think clearly if I'm perceiving being attacked."
No one can (unless maybe His Holiness the Dalai Lama).
It's your brain on fear. Your frontal lobe (reasoning, empathy, executive function) gets flooded with chemicals and does not function. A deep breath can reset your vagal nerve, so you CAN LISTEN, but who can remember to do that when we're feeling defensive!!? 🤷🏼♀️
Yes, to all of what you've shared, and it's also a trauma response that needs to be addressed before you can sometimes remember to self-regulate, in my personal experience. And the Dalai Lama is a man, more enlightened than most possibly, but he's got triggers and biases, too, just like any other human being.
Somebody said His Holiness would totally lose it if he had to spend a weekend with his family (he got inducted so he missed out on a lot of that trauma!)
I love that! Yes. I've also read and seen that he's somewhat fat phobic. He's human.
Maybe we ARE Groot! I'm so happy that you've shared your experience here. I think so many of us are reactors. For me, it's definitely fear-based. Slowing down, and staying grounded in the present allows me to access my higher self, but wow, does it take practice, and self-love. xoxo
Ooof... so much self love!! I used to roll my eyes at that phrase, but now I absolutely get it. It's the key to most things! Xoxo
Self-love, self-trust, and self-compassion = totally the secret to the Universe and everything! If you care about kindness to others, human evolution, etc. (PS How can we reach those still in the eye-rolling phase???)
Yes. I think the best we can do is be models for that. It's difficult to reach people who don't want to shift their perspective. It's hard work.
Totally. I tried a few “teaching moments” HaHaHaHa!! I only wish they could grab a taste of the secret sauce!
Right? I'm working on seasoning that secret sauce to almost perfection (since perfection is a myth.)
I was an eye-roller, too! Also all the inner child language, but now I know it's real, and something that I need to acknowledge in my quest for healing and recovery. I was pretty arrogant about my opinions. Not as much anymore. Getting more humble has been very helpful.
We contain multitudes. Parts work has been my most CREATIVE, humbling, deepening and rewarding experience so far. The gift that keeps on giving. I highly encourage diving in. Especially if you've ever had one moment of trauma.
Exactly!
I’m with you!! :)
xoxo!
I resonated with so much of this piece Nan. I too shut down and struggle to express myself in the moment. Writing is often how I’m best able to express my thoughts fully. I feel a kind of eloquence when writing that I rarely experience when I’m speaking. And I LOVE Groot as a metaphor for all of this :)
Thanks, Danielle. Part of this adventure for me is not even knowing what's going to arise for me as a topic. Groot magically appeared on Sunday, when I wasn't sure at all what to write about! That's magic!