Oh Boy, I Got Nominated, Too!

...for the Sunshine Blogger Award. What the fuck is the Sunshine Blogger Award?

So, here’s a thing. All kinds of thoughts came up for me when my friend, subscriber, and client,

Cathy Joseph

of Random Conversations nominated me for The Sunshine Blogger Award. The first thing I wanted to do was find out the origin of this so-called “award.” Google AI was less than helpful which doesn’t surprise me in the least. But I came up with hundreds, maybe even thousands of nominated bloggers over the course of many years.

My next question was does anyone ever actually win this thing?

I said to myself, it’s just another gimmick for enticing potential readers. You know, like the annoying threads people start on social media that take others hostage, either forcing them to opt in, not because they really want to, but because they feel forced to play, and guilty about saying no OR opting out completely. I hated the whole thing. I’d make some snarky comment “thanks, but no thanks, I don’t do these,” which just made me look bad. But at least, I didn’t have to do it.

Then I began to question my need to know if the award was legit. Where was the website to prove it was a real thing? Why couldn’t I just say thank you to something as lovely as a nod from another writer? Am I cynical? Maybe a little. And some days, maybe more than a little. Do these questions arise from my suspicious nature? Yes, indeedy!

I was an early adopter of Snopes; it was my happy place. I’m a fact-checker and quite hard-nosed about it, but not as stringent as I used to be because it’s harder now to know what’s real, don’t you think? My intense need for actual facts started for me in earnest in 2015, when “you know who” hit the scene, and the interwebs got turned inside out and upside down with disinformation, bad information, no information, and complete out and out lies. Yikes.

I spent too much time alienating my peers and friends in my FB community by scolding them, albeit lovingly, for not fact-checking before posting what they thought was true. My behavior didn’t win me a Favorite Fact-Checker Award. If anything, I could have been nominated for the Most Annoying Nitpicker Asshole Award, and would have won and gone home with an enormous gold loving cup overflowing with poop.

I wanted truth. I wanted verifiable. I wanted accurate, but I had to remember that “truth” and “facts” are not necessarily interchangeable. In fact, the word “fact” has lost all meaning.

Then I realized that my questioning and mistrust was a very deep rabbit hole I went down to keep me from letting some love in. It had nothing to do with anything. I used it as a distraction away from my discomfort with being acknowledged and my fear that people would laugh at me if I chose to jump into this funny and suspect little venture.

I looked deeper into my resistance and doubt about being honored by anyone. Could it be that it’s difficult for me to receive compliments? YUP, with a capital YUP. Why isn’t it legit for my beautiful, talented cohort of reader and writer friends to have a positive opinion of me and my writing? Why isn’t that enough and welcome? Vestiges of self-doubt, perhaps? Are they even vestiges? Nope. Those thoughts are still active in my overthinking psyche.

Why am I so damn hard on myself, still? Because being out in the world as a writer is new for me. And I’m learning how to believe in––dare I say it––my talent?

I reminded myself that the thing I love most about being in this writing community is the generosity we show one another. That’s the icing and the cherry on the cake of my life with a million candles that grant my wishes, each and every day. That’s become the life I live now as I happily reside in Substacklandia. I love recommending people; touting their talent. It’s always been easy for me to be generous toward others. Not as easy for me to receive. I’m working on it!

So, in the spirit of incredible gratitude and a little bit of embarrassment at my own neurotic tendencies, I’m getting the hell out of my own way, taking a humble bow and saying thank you,

Cathy Joseph

, from the bottom of my heart for seeing me, reading me, and always leaving me generous comments. You’re one of the most positive, non-cynical people I’ve ever met and I love that about you.

BUT, I’ve decided that as a recipient of a nomination for the Sunshine Blogger Award, which apparently has been around for a very long time (still don’t have facts to back up anything I’m saying here), and in the spirit of evolving creativity, I’m going to rebrand it. It’s long past due. Because that’s what I do. I rebrand and reinvent things and the following version fits my persona better. The less sunny side of life.

Think strippers, a disgusting little-girl beauty pageant, a heroin-snorting, porn-loving grandpa, an underachieving dad, a misanthropic colorblind teenager, one suicidal uncle, and a mother who has very little impact on the circus she lives in and feeds with buckets of cold KFC. Put all of them in a VW bus that can’t pop into gear until said people push it down the road until it’s coasting at 20mph. Then watch them run alongside at almost 20mph to jump back in. That’s a life I recognize.

Am I ringing a bell for anyone?

I’m renaming it “The Little Miss Sunshine Blogger Award,” in honor of my favorite darkly funny movie of the same name, minus the blogging and the award. With great thanks to one of my favorite writers here, Eileen Dougharty, for planting the seed for this rebrand. She’s also one of my favorite people, end of story, period, dot.

Too much sunshine is never a good thing in my book, I rarely go outside, I burn easily; so I’m skewing a bit to the dark side of the sun. It’s more me.

It’s truly an honor to accept the nomination for the Little Miss Sunshine Blogger Award from anyone who wants to give it to me. But since I’ve changed the rules a tad, doesn’t that mean I’m just giving it to myself? Think about this.

Now, the next right thing I’m supposed to do is answer Cathy’s questions:

What do you enjoy most about writing on Substack? The generous culture, the new friends I’ve made, the ability to easily find like-minded folks who love to express themselves.

Has a reader’s comment, or the theme of multiple comments, stood out for you in some way? Yes, I had a DM from a reader about a year ago. I’d just begun trying a paywall on my archived posts, but this reader was disappointed because she was a college professor and had assigned one of my essays to her grad and undergrad students. They couldn’t access it. That was the end of paywalls for me, forever?

What place in the world, near or far, makes your heart smile just thinking of it? My beautiful home sweet home, always.

What wisdom did you learn from a guide or mentor that has positively impacted your life? When someone wants to do something nice for you, say thank you.

What have you learned from helping others? That it’s truly where I come from. We need to be there for one another.

Do you have a favorite book or book genre? Uh, YES! Harriet the Spy, forever and always.

What inspires you? Broadway show tunes!

What brings you joy? Upbeat Broadway show tunes!

What makes you laugh? Chris Stanton’s Friday essays.

What’s a “good day” for you? Every day is a good day for me, since recovery. Even when they’re hard, or especially when they’re hard, because I usually learn something important that I need to know.

What is the smallest step we can take right here, right now, to experience more joy, wonder and awe in our lives? My smallest step is to not step at all, but to stay where my feet are. Be present. Not perseverate about a future I have no control over. The only thing that’s real is what we’re experiencing in the moment and then only doing the next right thing.

Some info about the original Sunshine Blogger Award, taken from their non-existent website.

This is a peer-recognition award given by bloggers to other bloggers who are deemed to be creative, positive, and inspiring.

In accepting this award, nominees are asked to nominate up to eleven writers and give them questions to answer. Nominees also respond to the questions received from the writer who nominated them.

Okay, I’ll go with that. 11 is a lucky number…right? And I don’t want to change things so drastically that it puts people off balance. Okay, the truth? I’m too tired and too lazy at the moment to completely reinvent this. I know I’ve won the Most Annoying Nitpicker Asshole Award once and I prefer not to win it a second time.

A note to my nominees:

To accept my nomination, and you must, because I don’t like taking no for an answer, the award rules are listed below along with my questions for you. Thank you for your beautiful writing!

Oh! There’s a loophole. Here’s the deal. DO NOT feel obligated to do this next right thing if it makes you crazy, or you don’t have time for it, or you hate shit like this. It could very well be the next WRONG thing for you. I completely understand. This is just an excuse to tell you I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

The Sunshine Blogger Award Rules (with a couple of twists)

• Display the Award’s official logo somewhere on your blog. NOTICE: Please use my rebranded version above, and not the other ones in circulation. If you do a search on Google or just click on this bright pink link, you’ll see how many “official” versions there are of this thing floating around, and none of them are very good.

• Thank, curse, or ignore the person who nominated you. That would be me, in case you need to be reminded.

• Provide a link to your nominator’s newsletter (the new word for blog…I prefer blog). And that would be me, in case you need to be reminded again.

• Answer your nominator’s questions. See below.

• Nominate up to 11 bloggers.

Drumroll, please. It’s time.

As I’m handed the envelope, I hastily rip it open because this thing has become one of my longest posts, if not the longest and I’m sure you’re probably over it by now, because I’m kind of over it by now, except this is the thing you’ve all been waiting for, right? Some of my big faves.

Disclaimer: I’m not nominating anyone from Cathy’s post, because that might put people in a tizzy, even though there are many writers on her list I adore and would have nominated if I’d gotten there first. But then my list would have been longer, because breaking rules is my middle name.

These are my nominees. I’ve used snippets from their profiles, or have free-styled my own brief comments. Go to these lovelies. Each of them is genius material. Approachable and thought-provoking. Not all are “fun” but each writer has incredible gifts and I want to share them with you. For now, I’m just going to read their names. If you’re listening, you’ll have to refer to this post for descriptions and links to their stacks, mostly because this has gone on long enough and I’m getting a sore throat from so much talking.

1. Eileen Dougharty, You’re Right I Do Look Tired: Irreverent writing, at it’s best. Funny, dark, and as honest as can be, with each and every essay. You’re in for a treat that I can’t even begin to describe, so you’ll just have to trust me. Co-creator of this new award.

2. Chris Stanton, Stantonland: Humor writing about life, culture, and assorted grievances. Just reading Chris makes me a funnier person. Friday evenings: be there.

3. Jodi Sh. Doff, The Long Goodbye and The DirtyGirl Diaries: The first is Jodi’s stack about dementia caregiving, especially as it pertains to her fabulous, stuffy-loving mom. And The Dirtygirl Diaries is smutty, sexy, and covers Times Square in a decade long ago.

4. Susan Kacvinsky, Modern Mythology: Examining the intersection of myth, politics, and history through personal and collective narratives, and lately, Susan’s been taking a fascinating look at our culture’s fear of death. Chef’s kiss, great writing.

5. Dina Honour, American Woman: Dina writes about women. She claims not to have an agenda and I’ll take her word for it, but there’s a distinctive feminist message that I can’t get enough of, and she’ll surely own up to. Every time I read one of her posts, I’m awed by her brilliance and want to be her new best friend.

6. Mary Roblyn, Writer Interrrupted: “Life happens. We get interrupted. When my husband died, grief opened my heart. Writing, like grieving, is an act of love. Interruptions are not forever. I'm writing again.” There’s no one on the planet who writes like Mary. She’s meticulous and has high standards for the work she publishes. She never disappoints.

7. Amy Cowen, Illustrated Life: Amy was one of the first people to notice me when I started here. She’s an illustrator, a lover and purveyor of extended creative projects, a guide, a cheerleader, and one of the most beautiful writers I’ve ever read. Her work has depth and so much wisdom. And she’s very, very kind.

8. Dr. Amber Hull, Under the White Coat: Amber is a physician on a mission! She tells true stories about what it’s like to be a doctor in a broken system. She’s a recent expatriate (damn, I knew I should have gone to med school) and one of the most honest and healthy sex educators I’ve ever come across. And watch her pole-dance! It’s awe-inspiring.

9. Jess Greenwood, The Joy Luck Club: “Writer. Realist. Mom. Human. Fascinated by the gap between ideation and implementation, I write to figure things out. Right now, I'm working on joy.” And she’s a heck of an excellent writer. Honest, kind, and playfully self-deprecating. And really, really smart. Really smart!

10. Amy Gabrielle, Absolute Pleasure: Yes, she is an absolute pleasure, and sometimes in the most confronting ways. Amy rants. On occasion, she rants in her lingerie. I had to get used to that. Amy talks truth to power, and is a gem of a writer. She doesn’t mess around, and even though she sometimes gets overwhelmed by the shit show we’re living through, she never stops fighting. Brilliant, passionate soul.

11. Carolyn Chamberlin, The Guest House: Exquisite memoir and personal essays. I don’t know where to begin, but her writing? It’s the real deal. Read her. Read her. Read her.

Lovely nominees, should you decide to go crazy and pick up this thread, follow through and do this silly thing…here are your questions. Or you can go gaily forward ignoring the whole damn show. You can also answer one or more of these in the comments. My post, my rules.

At the very least, acknowledge that you’ve seen it and give me a thumbs up or even a thumbs down. Another possibility is financial remuneration––no, the contest’s not rigged. Because there’s no winner, remember? I just like cash.

1. How are you handling the shit show that America has become?

2. What is your definition of freedom?

3. Why do you write on the Substack platform?

4. When did you know you wanted to be a writer?

5. What's the biggest lie you ever told?

6. Tell me about your favorite teacher from any period of your life.

7. Who do you trust the most? If you say T-RUMP, we’ll never speak again.

8. Who's your most beloved fictional character?

9. How do you feel about euthanasia?

10. If you have tattoos, what do they depict?

11. If you don't have tattoos, why the hell not?

How could I possibly end this post without a fun snippet from the real Little Miss Sunshine? I want you to know that when this film played in 2006, I saw it once. Then I went back 3 more times the same week. That’s how fucking good it is.

If you haven’t seen it, you must. It’ll make everything better. I promise.

I’m so grateful when readers decide to support my writing financially by becoming paid subscribers, so if you want to do that, thank you, thank you!

Here’s a thing you can do that doesn’t cost a penny. On the top or bottom of the story, you can click on the “♥️” to like my essay, click on the speech bubble (💬) and leave a comment, and/or click on the little spinny arrow thingy (♻️) and restack the post (“restack” means “share” in Substackese).

Those three actions will help me reach more readers!

And tips are always welcome…as mentioned above, I just like cash!

One more thing. I’m offering my workshop again, in October, because the one I offered in May was a huge success. If you’ve been thinking about writing a newsletter on Substack, but don’t know where to start, Substack 101 is perfect for you!

And one more, more thing! I’m offering one-on-one private Substack tutoring sessions. Me. You. Questions. Answers. Make an appointment, I’ll get you started.