I love when I get to use my last name in a pun. It's an honour, Nan. Do I have an agenda....hmmm..;-). Thank you for the list of newsletter/blogs/generally awesome people to follow, I'm off to subscribe!
I don't know. My brain was focusing on things that I think about a lot. The political chaos and horror, being a writer, the teachers who've meant the most to me on the tail of a disastrous experience, death, and my full-time life in Substacklandia, and always, always, tattoos. xo
Nan, wow!!! Little Miss Sunshine Blogger. That is the honor of a lifetime. Thank you for taking me on this wild ride of an essay and then giving me the wheel. I love hearing about your inner Snopes and coming to a rapprochement, with your suspicious mind.
I somehow missed the whole Sunshine Blogger thing, had no idea what this post would be about, prepared myself for an irony fest and got a great shout-out instead. Little Miss Sunshine is one of my favorite movies of all time, and that clip is an affirmation of what it means to be the weirdest kid on earth and be loved for it.
So it may take me some time, but I intend to finish this homework assignment, no matter how many Junior Mints it takes. (I’d eat Milk Duds instead, but I’ve invested too much in crowns.)
Now I’m off to kiss Mini goodnight and go to bed. Love you, sweet Nan, and good night. xoxo
Good night (or good morning). You don't have to do the "homework" assignment. There are clear opt-outs, but IF you'd like to respond to a few of the questions here in the comments that would be wonderful, though not required. You may rest on your laurels...OR do anything you want. I'm off to Los Angeles for a week, but when I'm back, we'll tawk! I had the most fun writing this post. It was a wild ride for sure! Give Mini a kiss for me. XO
What a completely full circle post you've written. You manage to be funny, cynical, vulnerable, humble and all the while a truth teller. Yes, you're a talented writer. When you drill down into the why and how of your decision making and insights into your feelings, you're damn relatable.
Thank you for accepting your nomination and for the rebranding. You teach all of us to look deeper at ourselves with a lens both open and generous. That's a true gift.
P.S. I'm glad you got my note, and I totally get it. I'm also swamped on any given day. Just know you're a treasure and I'm confident we'll connect at a later date. ~CBD
Thank you so much for the shout out, my friend. I’m honored that you invited me onto the bus and am proud to claim my seat. I saw “Little Miss Sunshine” in the theater and loved it, but haven’t watched it since. I think I’m long overdue. In the meantime, I’ll pick and choose from your excellent questions.
1. I’m handling the shit show by alternating between rage, fear, disbelief, and detachment. Mostly rage.
2. In the grandest sense, freedom is being in complete control of how you spend your time. Or, it’s just another word for nothing left to lose. I’m not sure.
3. I write on Substack because it’s the venue that I never knew I always wanted. It’s the perfect place for my kind of shenanigans, and the people are amazing—that goes double for you.
4. I always liked inventing stories and roles for myself, but when I was maybe seven or eight, our neighbor gave me a portable typewriter she didn’t want anymore. I became obsessed with it. I think that was the beginning.
9. I think euthanasia should be a viable, available option for the terminally ill. It’s a humane way to accelerate the inevitable and end a life with dignity.
11. I don’t have any tattoos because I could never commit to having something on my body for the rest of my life. Also, I’m afraid the artist would screw it up or I’d be unhappy with the way it turned out, and then I’d be condemned to wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life.
And, my dear friend, you are bomb-iest guy I know. The bomb!
You're answering some of the questions! That makes me so happy, thank you.
As I've been doing with others, I shall do with you:
1. I’m handling the shit show by alternating between rage, fear, disbelief, and detachment. Mostly rage.
MY RESPONSE: Hell, yeah. To all of your feelings. Rage is a good one. Fear, too. But the disbelief is what makes me spin. It's UNBELIEVABLE that these dickwads are getting away with all of the shit they're doing. I get wound up, crazy, even, then I have to remember that I'm powerless (12 Step comes in very handy right now for me). I'm committed to my personal joy and playfulness, and not Nero fiddling while Rome burns kind of blindness. Just a "I'll be damned if they kill my joy, I've worked for decades to get to the place of actually loving my life and finally doing the thing I was already meant to do." Refer to number 9, because auto-euthanasia might be an option worth considering if it gets too awful. But mostly, I remember that we all die. That helps keep it all in perspective. The dickwads seem to no know that. So fucking arrogant.
2. In the grandest sense, freedom is being in complete control of how you spend your time. Or, it’s just another word for nothing left to lose. I’m not sure.
MY RESPONSE: Absotively. I'm going to go with nothing left to lose. It feels edgier, and I want to up my "I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me" game. I've cared too much, for too long. That never gets me anywhere good. xo
3. I write on Substack because it’s the venue that I never knew I always wanted. It’s the perfect place for my kind of shenanigans, and the people are amazing—that goes double for you.
MY RESPONSE: You. I just love you. It's my favorite place to be the me I'm meant to be. Every day feels like a new discovery. And so many amazing people. I think I only read two men. You and @Don Boivin, Shy Guy Meets the Buddha. You have to be quadruple amazing for me to read you! There's a higher bar to meet if you're a man. Because I said so.
4. I always liked inventing stories and roles for myself, but when I was maybe seven or eight, our neighbor gave me a portable typewriter she didn’t want anymore. I became obsessed with it. I think that was the beginning.
MY RESPONSE: They are amazing, those old typewriters. I had a vintage Royal typewriter that I loved. I hardly ever used it, but it was fun to make believe I was Dorothy Parker.
9. I think euthanasia should be a viable, available option for the terminally ill. It’s a humane way to accelerate the inevitable and end a life with dignity.
MY RESPONSE: ME TOO. It's my party and I can die if I want to.
11. I don’t have any tattoos because I could never commit to having something on my body for the rest of my life. Also, I’m afraid the artist would screw it up or I’d be unhappy with the way it turned out, and then I’d be condemned to wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life.
MY RESPONSE: I hear you. I've felt the anxiety about the possible mistake. I held my breath the entire time Harriet the Spy was being welded to my right forearm for all eternity and obsessed about what she might look like if I lost a bunch of weight. Would she get all puckery and wrinkly? I could start going to the gym and build up Popeye forearms, or just not give a shit when she one day becomes unrecognizable. I'll alway know what she means to me and just who she is. I gotta warn you, though, if you ever change your mind; once you get started, it's hard not to want more. You could always give temporary tattoos a try...no commitment there. Because I have a feeling commitments might be as challenging for you as they are for me, but maybe about different things!
I had no idea that Don and I are the only Y-chromosomers you read. I’m seriously honored. It means a lot to me that you deem me worthy. (That was meant earnestly.) You’re the best, Nan. I’m so glad that our paths crossed here way back when. Love you.
Also, I think our commitment challenges are probably closer in nature than you think.
Oh, I want to hear more about the commitment challenges. But that's a Zoom call, not a public forum discussion. I also read Shalom Auslander. He's an old acquaintance when he and his wife lived in Woodstock. He's a fucking genius. And adorable, too. So that's three. But you're in first place. Hey, this is a contest after all. I get to rank people. My post, my rules. LOVE you right back, CS. I see you designing a fabulous Stantonland temporary tattoo, and then maybe offering them as thank yous for paid subscribers...OMG what a good idea. We should discuss! I'm going to bed. It's way past time! xo
"Too much sunshine is never a good thing in my book."
I knew I liked you, Nan. Lol. I'm with you on this one. I get made fun of for how much I prefer fog.
So, it was funny to see this post this morning and immediately think to myself, "well there's an award I'll never be nominated for" because "sunny" I am not. (I would say you ARE, and the original nomination was aptly given to you and well deserved, which I hope the long comments thread has helped to reinforce.)
This: "I looked deeper into my resistance and doubt about being honored by anyone. Could it be that it’s difficult for me to receive compliments? YUP, with a capital YUP. Why _**isn’t**_ it legit for my beautiful, talented cohort of reader and writer friends to have a positive opinion of me and my writing? Why isn’t that enough and welcome? Vestiges of self-doubt, perhaps? Are they even vestiges? Nope. Those thoughts are still active in my overthinking psyche."
You are going to have to keep stepping outside of that, for sure.
You spread lots of sunshine, even as you write about things that are very difficult. That you continue to reach for something optimistic is notable.
Your turn of this (chain letter-like) award to Little Miss Sunshine is wonderful. I just watched the movie for the first time this year (because I've been circling Proust). Loved it.
Thank you for the nomination, which was a total surprise. To see me noted as kind was also a surprise. It was a post full of surprises and good vibes!
I love seeing the list of writers shared here, many of them that are new to me, and I enjoyed the comments section.
9: Wholeheartedly. Really. I do. When the time comes, yes. I hope there is a way.
11: I am too much of an overthinker to ever choose "one." I also figure I would never be happy with one. It would require a full, integrate sleeve, at the very least. That then becomes a very clear money issue (as does one) for me. This quickly spirals. I could go on. Maybe 33 or so years ago, I knew someone that had a character from Where the Wild Things Are on her shoulder, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. At the time, I was convinced I would need that or a Cat in the Hat (this was before Seuss issues). Today, it would be neither of those. Like I said, I would never be able to choose. (I might also be afraid of all of it.)
I love you, Amy. You actually do spread a ton of sunshine, at least for me. I was singing your praises tonight to my friend @Nancy Jainchill over dinner. You are clearly one of a kind and precious gift for those us who know you.
It means so much to me when you like my posts. I feel bonded to you because of the way you welcomed me when I was frightened to do this thing called writing. Your support and encouragement helped give me wings.
As far as your answers go, (and thank you for playing!) I will share my responses:
9: Wholeheartedly. Really. I do. When the time comes, yes. I hope there is a way.
MY RESPONSE: Me too. Big time. It's why I decided after impetuously signing up for a degree in nursing that I'd never cut it. I envisioned myself in a white dress, with a nametag that read "Nurse Kevorkian." I didn't think pursuing a career as the female Angel of Death was in my best interests for the long (or short) term. I'm a true believer, always have been. Compassion is key.
11: I am too much of an overthinker to ever choose "one." I also figure I would never be happy with one. It would require a full, integrate sleeve, at the very least. That then becomes a very clear money issue (as does one) for me. This quickly spirals. I could go on. Maybe 33 or so years ago, I knew someone that had a character from Where the Wild Things Are on her shoulder, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. At the time, I was convinced I would need that or a Cat in the Hat (this was before Seuss issues). Today, it would be neither of those. Like I said, I would never be able to choose. (I might also be afraid of all of it.)
MY RESPONSE: Any sleeve you design would be off the charts, but I get it. I have to feel really sure of myself before I choose a tat. I've often thought it would be superbly fun to design a sleeve of my favorite childhood characters and besides the possibility of another Harriet, Max from WTWTA is my next choice. It would be phenomenal. But my heart will always belong to Miss Welsch, so she may have to ride my forearm solo. One never knows. I do love my tats. And I've gotten 5 in total over the course of almost 40 years. So you can pace yourself. And yes, it's a little scary. Especially the first time, but it's also a pretty transformative experience.
I've got big plans for a showing of LMS in the very near future. Such a wonderful story.
I'm so glad you listened, Linda. I have so much fun every time I record one of these essays. It's very freeing. A hoot! That's the highest compliment. xo
Hahaha. "YUP, with a capital YUP." I was lying in bed this morning and saw your essay while also seeing that I had been nominated as well by one of my sweet people. I wondered the same thing you did--what IS this? But now I see what you discovered--it's just a very lovely shout out. But the chain letter nature of it (each person nominates 11 more?) means eventually, we will all be Sunshine Bloggers. But being on anyone's best list is a gift. I'll take it. Also, the LMS clip--I just kept smiling. x
It certainly is a gift. One I'm grateful for. There are so many other writers that should be on this list. Maybe I'll make a directory next! Love you, cutie pie. You're the best. xo
Of course you would find a way to make the Sunshine Awards even more delightful. Why, thank you, Little Miss Sunshine. I joyfully accept and while I cannot imagine I'm even nearly as smart as your kind comments make me out to be, I will shamelessly bask in pretending that I am because that, too, will bring me joy. Love you, mean it!
Love you back, double meant it. You've got to be kidding me. You are so fucking smart, and your emotional intelligence is off the charts. I'm inspired by you always. I'm so glad we met here. xo
I'm glad you want to check out other writers from my list. I have so many more. If you haven't seen that movie lately, I highly recommend a re-watch. It's absolutely splendid.
Having just been nominated for a Sunshine Blogger award myself from another friend here, Francesca, I so appreciated you going down the rabbit hole of ‘what the hell is this award’ and rolling with it in your inimitable way. Loved your own answers and questions to nominees & look forward to perusing the ones I don’t know & am pleased to meet here. 😀and thank you for the Super Freak clip. I freaking love that movie! 🍿
Well... this was enormously fun. Perfect. I've been seeing these award posts go by to the tune of two a day! I'm tickled to death that you nominated me. You are a natural cheerleader, and I love that about you. I've rarely met anyone as supportive and loyal and fierce as you are. It makes me feel safe, which is a lifelong ambition of mine. I know; I know. Actual safety is an illusion as thick as the one that says I can gain control, but still, the feeling is wonderful.
I'm not going to do the post thing, probably, because I'm publishing tomorrow already, and that's always a little fraught for me. Then, after that, I plan to run out of steam... I will cherry-pick your questions, though. Let's see:
1. I'm handling the shit show by telling myself that the last time we had such corruption in government, it was the Gilded Age. After that came decades of progressive reform that lasted until Regan (fuck him BYW). I may not live to see it, but the denouement is guaranteed. I believe in story structure.
2. It says right on my Substack: "Freedom is no story."
9. I think people should have bodily autonomy. That said, it should be easy in the instance of physical illness and much harder in the case of mental illness. We can negotiate the details.
11. I don't have a tattoo, as we discussed yesterday, because I am a coward about physical pain, even when it's only at the annoying scritchy-scratch level. Just say no.
12. Thank you for nominating me. I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to see you in person, in my home, in two days! Who says the friends we make online aren't real friends?
OH! I love this, Susan. It's such a perfect response. And NO, don't do a post to continue this mess unless the urge grips you and won't let go. BUT remember, do not nominate me. That won't end well. Once is enough.
Now, in response to your generous cherry-picking (I LOVE cherries, btw), I will address each one in order.
1. I'm handling the shit show by telling myself that the last time we had such corruption in government, it was the Gilded Age. After that came decades of progressive reform that lasted until Regan (fuck him BYW). I may not live to see it, but the denouement is guaranteed. I believe in story structure.
MY RESPONSE: Yes! You said this to me recently and I took great comfort in how you interpret things. And yes, a big fuck him to Reagan. The demon seed. And now, we have the spawn of Satan running the show. Geez. And we must live to see it. I'll buy the popcorn, and heck, we can each have our own sodas, too. I bought the cozy barcalounger seats.
2. It says right on my Substack: "Freedom is no story."
MY RESPONSE: YUP. Working on letting mine go.
9. I think people should have bodily autonomy. That said, it should be easy in the instance of physical illness and much harder in the case of mental illness. We can negotiate the details.
MY RESPONSE: I completely agree. Bodily autonomy in all things, and yes the mental illness piece must be carefully considered. If someone had let me die when I felt like it was my only option, I would have missed out on so much. That said, I respect the right of others with mental illness to also drive the discussion on EOL issues, but with the assistance of compassionate caregivers and strict evaluation.
11. I don't have a tattoo, as we discussed yesterday, because I am a coward about physical pain, even when it's only at the annoying scritchy-scratch level. Just say no.
MY RESPONSE: What about a temporary transfer? They're quiet and painless, and don't leave scars. If you were into that, what it would it be?
12. Thank you for nominating me. I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to see you in person, in my home, in two days! Who says the friends we make online aren't real friends?
MY RESPONSE: I love you to the moon and beyond! No, I'm not playing "can you top this." You better prepare yourself for my entrance. I'm going to throw my whole self at you (that's a lot of Nan) and hug you to bits. But it will be painless. I'll probably cry, too.
I'm a wet person now. I'm teary already. If I could have a temporary transfer, I'd want the drawing I did of an Alchemical Tree. It's an image that possessed me for two years. In fact, if I were going to sit still for a tat, it would be a simplified version of that image. I know I don't want to sit for the full details version without serious drugs.
I'm sure drugs could be arranged, I might know a guy. Do have the drawing? Can you scan it and send it to me? This might be easier than we thought. I've done some research! xo
Love it Nan! Absolutely wonderful. :)
Thanks, Mary Anne.
Love the clip. Thanks for reminding me to see that film again!
I saw it again on Friday night with some friends in Los Angeles. I'm out here with my brother. Definitely see it again. It never gets old for me. xo
I love when I get to use my last name in a pun. It's an honour, Nan. Do I have an agenda....hmmm..;-). Thank you for the list of newsletter/blogs/generally awesome people to follow, I'm off to subscribe!
And it is an honour to honour you, Ms. Honour. xo
Congratulations, and so fun! Plus lots of great new Substacks to peruse. Thanks for that.
Thanks, Mira! Enjoy the great writers!
I listened to this on my morning walk with Thai Thai today. I also look forward to Fridays and Stantonland.
Those questions you asked, I'm going to answer them. They're pretty good. Why those questions of all the questions in the world.
xoxo
Why any questions? They were the ones that came to me. xo
Just curious about how you got to these questions.
I don't know. My brain was focusing on things that I think about a lot. The political chaos and horror, being a writer, the teachers who've meant the most to me on the tail of a disastrous experience, death, and my full-time life in Substacklandia, and always, always, tattoos. xo
Nan, wow!!! Little Miss Sunshine Blogger. That is the honor of a lifetime. Thank you for taking me on this wild ride of an essay and then giving me the wheel. I love hearing about your inner Snopes and coming to a rapprochement, with your suspicious mind.
I somehow missed the whole Sunshine Blogger thing, had no idea what this post would be about, prepared myself for an irony fest and got a great shout-out instead. Little Miss Sunshine is one of my favorite movies of all time, and that clip is an affirmation of what it means to be the weirdest kid on earth and be loved for it.
So it may take me some time, but I intend to finish this homework assignment, no matter how many Junior Mints it takes. (I’d eat Milk Duds instead, but I’ve invested too much in crowns.)
Now I’m off to kiss Mini goodnight and go to bed. Love you, sweet Nan, and good night. xoxo
Good night (or good morning). You don't have to do the "homework" assignment. There are clear opt-outs, but IF you'd like to respond to a few of the questions here in the comments that would be wonderful, though not required. You may rest on your laurels...OR do anything you want. I'm off to Los Angeles for a week, but when I'm back, we'll tawk! I had the most fun writing this post. It was a wild ride for sure! Give Mini a kiss for me. XO
Nan,
What a completely full circle post you've written. You manage to be funny, cynical, vulnerable, humble and all the while a truth teller. Yes, you're a talented writer. When you drill down into the why and how of your decision making and insights into your feelings, you're damn relatable.
Thank you for accepting your nomination and for the rebranding. You teach all of us to look deeper at ourselves with a lens both open and generous. That's a true gift.
P.S. I'm glad you got my note, and I totally get it. I'm also swamped on any given day. Just know you're a treasure and I'm confident we'll connect at a later date. ~CBD
Big hug, Colleen and thank you for your kind words and encouragement. xo
Thank you so much for the shout out, my friend. I’m honored that you invited me onto the bus and am proud to claim my seat. I saw “Little Miss Sunshine” in the theater and loved it, but haven’t watched it since. I think I’m long overdue. In the meantime, I’ll pick and choose from your excellent questions.
1. I’m handling the shit show by alternating between rage, fear, disbelief, and detachment. Mostly rage.
2. In the grandest sense, freedom is being in complete control of how you spend your time. Or, it’s just another word for nothing left to lose. I’m not sure.
3. I write on Substack because it’s the venue that I never knew I always wanted. It’s the perfect place for my kind of shenanigans, and the people are amazing—that goes double for you.
4. I always liked inventing stories and roles for myself, but when I was maybe seven or eight, our neighbor gave me a portable typewriter she didn’t want anymore. I became obsessed with it. I think that was the beginning.
9. I think euthanasia should be a viable, available option for the terminally ill. It’s a humane way to accelerate the inevitable and end a life with dignity.
11. I don’t have any tattoos because I could never commit to having something on my body for the rest of my life. Also, I’m afraid the artist would screw it up or I’d be unhappy with the way it turned out, and then I’d be condemned to wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life.
And, my dear friend, you are bomb-iest guy I know. The bomb!
You're answering some of the questions! That makes me so happy, thank you.
As I've been doing with others, I shall do with you:
1. I’m handling the shit show by alternating between rage, fear, disbelief, and detachment. Mostly rage.
MY RESPONSE: Hell, yeah. To all of your feelings. Rage is a good one. Fear, too. But the disbelief is what makes me spin. It's UNBELIEVABLE that these dickwads are getting away with all of the shit they're doing. I get wound up, crazy, even, then I have to remember that I'm powerless (12 Step comes in very handy right now for me). I'm committed to my personal joy and playfulness, and not Nero fiddling while Rome burns kind of blindness. Just a "I'll be damned if they kill my joy, I've worked for decades to get to the place of actually loving my life and finally doing the thing I was already meant to do." Refer to number 9, because auto-euthanasia might be an option worth considering if it gets too awful. But mostly, I remember that we all die. That helps keep it all in perspective. The dickwads seem to no know that. So fucking arrogant.
2. In the grandest sense, freedom is being in complete control of how you spend your time. Or, it’s just another word for nothing left to lose. I’m not sure.
MY RESPONSE: Absotively. I'm going to go with nothing left to lose. It feels edgier, and I want to up my "I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me" game. I've cared too much, for too long. That never gets me anywhere good. xo
3. I write on Substack because it’s the venue that I never knew I always wanted. It’s the perfect place for my kind of shenanigans, and the people are amazing—that goes double for you.
MY RESPONSE: You. I just love you. It's my favorite place to be the me I'm meant to be. Every day feels like a new discovery. And so many amazing people. I think I only read two men. You and @Don Boivin, Shy Guy Meets the Buddha. You have to be quadruple amazing for me to read you! There's a higher bar to meet if you're a man. Because I said so.
4. I always liked inventing stories and roles for myself, but when I was maybe seven or eight, our neighbor gave me a portable typewriter she didn’t want anymore. I became obsessed with it. I think that was the beginning.
MY RESPONSE: They are amazing, those old typewriters. I had a vintage Royal typewriter that I loved. I hardly ever used it, but it was fun to make believe I was Dorothy Parker.
9. I think euthanasia should be a viable, available option for the terminally ill. It’s a humane way to accelerate the inevitable and end a life with dignity.
MY RESPONSE: ME TOO. It's my party and I can die if I want to.
11. I don’t have any tattoos because I could never commit to having something on my body for the rest of my life. Also, I’m afraid the artist would screw it up or I’d be unhappy with the way it turned out, and then I’d be condemned to wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life.
MY RESPONSE: I hear you. I've felt the anxiety about the possible mistake. I held my breath the entire time Harriet the Spy was being welded to my right forearm for all eternity and obsessed about what she might look like if I lost a bunch of weight. Would she get all puckery and wrinkly? I could start going to the gym and build up Popeye forearms, or just not give a shit when she one day becomes unrecognizable. I'll alway know what she means to me and just who she is. I gotta warn you, though, if you ever change your mind; once you get started, it's hard not to want more. You could always give temporary tattoos a try...no commitment there. Because I have a feeling commitments might be as challenging for you as they are for me, but maybe about different things!
Love you, dude. xo
I had no idea that Don and I are the only Y-chromosomers you read. I’m seriously honored. It means a lot to me that you deem me worthy. (That was meant earnestly.) You’re the best, Nan. I’m so glad that our paths crossed here way back when. Love you.
Also, I think our commitment challenges are probably closer in nature than you think.
Oh, I want to hear more about the commitment challenges. But that's a Zoom call, not a public forum discussion. I also read Shalom Auslander. He's an old acquaintance when he and his wife lived in Woodstock. He's a fucking genius. And adorable, too. So that's three. But you're in first place. Hey, this is a contest after all. I get to rank people. My post, my rules. LOVE you right back, CS. I see you designing a fabulous Stantonland temporary tattoo, and then maybe offering them as thank yous for paid subscribers...OMG what a good idea. We should discuss! I'm going to bed. It's way past time! xo
I read Shalom too. He’s brilliant. Ok, I’m going to bed too. My comment, my rules. Night!
"Too much sunshine is never a good thing in my book."
I knew I liked you, Nan. Lol. I'm with you on this one. I get made fun of for how much I prefer fog.
So, it was funny to see this post this morning and immediately think to myself, "well there's an award I'll never be nominated for" because "sunny" I am not. (I would say you ARE, and the original nomination was aptly given to you and well deserved, which I hope the long comments thread has helped to reinforce.)
This: "I looked deeper into my resistance and doubt about being honored by anyone. Could it be that it’s difficult for me to receive compliments? YUP, with a capital YUP. Why _**isn’t**_ it legit for my beautiful, talented cohort of reader and writer friends to have a positive opinion of me and my writing? Why isn’t that enough and welcome? Vestiges of self-doubt, perhaps? Are they even vestiges? Nope. Those thoughts are still active in my overthinking psyche."
You are going to have to keep stepping outside of that, for sure.
You spread lots of sunshine, even as you write about things that are very difficult. That you continue to reach for something optimistic is notable.
Your turn of this (chain letter-like) award to Little Miss Sunshine is wonderful. I just watched the movie for the first time this year (because I've been circling Proust). Loved it.
Thank you for the nomination, which was a total surprise. To see me noted as kind was also a surprise. It was a post full of surprises and good vibes!
I love seeing the list of writers shared here, many of them that are new to me, and I enjoyed the comments section.
9: Wholeheartedly. Really. I do. When the time comes, yes. I hope there is a way.
11: I am too much of an overthinker to ever choose "one." I also figure I would never be happy with one. It would require a full, integrate sleeve, at the very least. That then becomes a very clear money issue (as does one) for me. This quickly spirals. I could go on. Maybe 33 or so years ago, I knew someone that had a character from Where the Wild Things Are on her shoulder, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. At the time, I was convinced I would need that or a Cat in the Hat (this was before Seuss issues). Today, it would be neither of those. Like I said, I would never be able to choose. (I might also be afraid of all of it.)
I love you, Amy. You actually do spread a ton of sunshine, at least for me. I was singing your praises tonight to my friend @Nancy Jainchill over dinner. You are clearly one of a kind and precious gift for those us who know you.
It means so much to me when you like my posts. I feel bonded to you because of the way you welcomed me when I was frightened to do this thing called writing. Your support and encouragement helped give me wings.
As far as your answers go, (and thank you for playing!) I will share my responses:
9: Wholeheartedly. Really. I do. When the time comes, yes. I hope there is a way.
MY RESPONSE: Me too. Big time. It's why I decided after impetuously signing up for a degree in nursing that I'd never cut it. I envisioned myself in a white dress, with a nametag that read "Nurse Kevorkian." I didn't think pursuing a career as the female Angel of Death was in my best interests for the long (or short) term. I'm a true believer, always have been. Compassion is key.
11: I am too much of an overthinker to ever choose "one." I also figure I would never be happy with one. It would require a full, integrate sleeve, at the very least. That then becomes a very clear money issue (as does one) for me. This quickly spirals. I could go on. Maybe 33 or so years ago, I knew someone that had a character from Where the Wild Things Are on her shoulder, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. At the time, I was convinced I would need that or a Cat in the Hat (this was before Seuss issues). Today, it would be neither of those. Like I said, I would never be able to choose. (I might also be afraid of all of it.)
MY RESPONSE: Any sleeve you design would be off the charts, but I get it. I have to feel really sure of myself before I choose a tat. I've often thought it would be superbly fun to design a sleeve of my favorite childhood characters and besides the possibility of another Harriet, Max from WTWTA is my next choice. It would be phenomenal. But my heart will always belong to Miss Welsch, so she may have to ride my forearm solo. One never knows. I do love my tats. And I've gotten 5 in total over the course of almost 40 years. So you can pace yourself. And yes, it's a little scary. Especially the first time, but it's also a pretty transformative experience.
I've got big plans for a showing of LMS in the very near future. Such a wonderful story.
Big hugs, Amy. I like fog, too. xo
What a hoot. Listened, rather than my usual reading.
I'm so glad you listened, Linda. I have so much fun every time I record one of these essays. It's very freeing. A hoot! That's the highest compliment. xo
Hahaha. "YUP, with a capital YUP." I was lying in bed this morning and saw your essay while also seeing that I had been nominated as well by one of my sweet people. I wondered the same thing you did--what IS this? But now I see what you discovered--it's just a very lovely shout out. But the chain letter nature of it (each person nominates 11 more?) means eventually, we will all be Sunshine Bloggers. But being on anyone's best list is a gift. I'll take it. Also, the LMS clip--I just kept smiling. x
It certainly is a gift. One I'm grateful for. There are so many other writers that should be on this list. Maybe I'll make a directory next! Love you, cutie pie. You're the best. xo
Right back at you! ❤️
Of course you would find a way to make the Sunshine Awards even more delightful. Why, thank you, Little Miss Sunshine. I joyfully accept and while I cannot imagine I'm even nearly as smart as your kind comments make me out to be, I will shamelessly bask in pretending that I am because that, too, will bring me joy. Love you, mean it!
Love you back, double meant it. You've got to be kidding me. You are so fucking smart, and your emotional intelligence is off the charts. I'm inspired by you always. I'm so glad we met here. xo
That means the world to me Nan, all of it. Thank you.
MWAH! xo
“I’m a fact-checker and quite hard-nosed about it, but not as stringent as I used to be because it’s harder now to know what’s real, don’t you think?”
Yup. I do think.
What fun. I remember loving “Little Miss Sunshine.” I’m very glad to know of other Substacks I might want to check out.
I'm glad you want to check out other writers from my list. I have so many more. If you haven't seen that movie lately, I highly recommend a re-watch. It's absolutely splendid.
Love to you, Pamela! xo
Congratulations, Nan. You are the fantastic winner of “The Little Miss Sunshine Blogger Award"!
Thanks, Lynn! But there IS no winner, because we're all winners! Love you, friend! xo
Having just been nominated for a Sunshine Blogger award myself from another friend here, Francesca, I so appreciated you going down the rabbit hole of ‘what the hell is this award’ and rolling with it in your inimitable way. Loved your own answers and questions to nominees & look forward to perusing the ones I don’t know & am pleased to meet here. 😀and thank you for the Super Freak clip. I freaking love that movie! 🍿
Isn't the movie the best thing ever? Gah! I love every second of it. I'm glad to know that you love it, too. My freak flag flies high, always! xo
Well... this was enormously fun. Perfect. I've been seeing these award posts go by to the tune of two a day! I'm tickled to death that you nominated me. You are a natural cheerleader, and I love that about you. I've rarely met anyone as supportive and loyal and fierce as you are. It makes me feel safe, which is a lifelong ambition of mine. I know; I know. Actual safety is an illusion as thick as the one that says I can gain control, but still, the feeling is wonderful.
I'm not going to do the post thing, probably, because I'm publishing tomorrow already, and that's always a little fraught for me. Then, after that, I plan to run out of steam... I will cherry-pick your questions, though. Let's see:
1. I'm handling the shit show by telling myself that the last time we had such corruption in government, it was the Gilded Age. After that came decades of progressive reform that lasted until Regan (fuck him BYW). I may not live to see it, but the denouement is guaranteed. I believe in story structure.
2. It says right on my Substack: "Freedom is no story."
9. I think people should have bodily autonomy. That said, it should be easy in the instance of physical illness and much harder in the case of mental illness. We can negotiate the details.
11. I don't have a tattoo, as we discussed yesterday, because I am a coward about physical pain, even when it's only at the annoying scritchy-scratch level. Just say no.
12. Thank you for nominating me. I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to see you in person, in my home, in two days! Who says the friends we make online aren't real friends?
OH! I love this, Susan. It's such a perfect response. And NO, don't do a post to continue this mess unless the urge grips you and won't let go. BUT remember, do not nominate me. That won't end well. Once is enough.
Now, in response to your generous cherry-picking (I LOVE cherries, btw), I will address each one in order.
1. I'm handling the shit show by telling myself that the last time we had such corruption in government, it was the Gilded Age. After that came decades of progressive reform that lasted until Regan (fuck him BYW). I may not live to see it, but the denouement is guaranteed. I believe in story structure.
MY RESPONSE: Yes! You said this to me recently and I took great comfort in how you interpret things. And yes, a big fuck him to Reagan. The demon seed. And now, we have the spawn of Satan running the show. Geez. And we must live to see it. I'll buy the popcorn, and heck, we can each have our own sodas, too. I bought the cozy barcalounger seats.
2. It says right on my Substack: "Freedom is no story."
MY RESPONSE: YUP. Working on letting mine go.
9. I think people should have bodily autonomy. That said, it should be easy in the instance of physical illness and much harder in the case of mental illness. We can negotiate the details.
MY RESPONSE: I completely agree. Bodily autonomy in all things, and yes the mental illness piece must be carefully considered. If someone had let me die when I felt like it was my only option, I would have missed out on so much. That said, I respect the right of others with mental illness to also drive the discussion on EOL issues, but with the assistance of compassionate caregivers and strict evaluation.
11. I don't have a tattoo, as we discussed yesterday, because I am a coward about physical pain, even when it's only at the annoying scritchy-scratch level. Just say no.
MY RESPONSE: What about a temporary transfer? They're quiet and painless, and don't leave scars. If you were into that, what it would it be?
12. Thank you for nominating me. I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to see you in person, in my home, in two days! Who says the friends we make online aren't real friends?
MY RESPONSE: I love you to the moon and beyond! No, I'm not playing "can you top this." You better prepare yourself for my entrance. I'm going to throw my whole self at you (that's a lot of Nan) and hug you to bits. But it will be painless. I'll probably cry, too.
XOXOXOXOXO!
I'm a wet person now. I'm teary already. If I could have a temporary transfer, I'd want the drawing I did of an Alchemical Tree. It's an image that possessed me for two years. In fact, if I were going to sit still for a tat, it would be a simplified version of that image. I know I don't want to sit for the full details version without serious drugs.
I'm sure drugs could be arranged, I might know a guy. Do have the drawing? Can you scan it and send it to me? This might be easier than we thought. I've done some research! xo
I can email it. No pictures in the comments section.
Yes, that's perfect. I don't want it here.
Done. It's sideways, but you get the idea.