Thank you for reading it, and commenting. It's been a wonderful experience for me, letting go of my old fears, beliefs to uncover a more satisfying way to live in the world. I'll be heading to Germany to visit in the spring. Ironic, that on my first trip to Europe, I'm starting with Germany! Very excited about going. xo
I can relate. My junior high offered three languages: Spanish, French, and German. I knew that only the first two were options. My grandparents escaped from Poland in 1939. My mom was too young to remember life before the war, but she came away with an instinctive negative reaction to anything German that she passed on.
Yup. I hear you. My family lost relatives in the war. I'm happy that at this point in my life I'm relieved of that nagging fear. Recovery work has helped me keep my life in perspective, and not obsess about the state of the world as it is in the way I used to. The world can be scary and I sometimes feel it, but I don't catastrophize or live in the future of my imagination. I stay are present as I can to each day. Makes a big difference to my peace of mind. xo
What a great story Nan! I can relate to the fear of Germans as a young Jewish person with grandparents who lived through WWII. In 1978, when I was 11, there was a made for TV movie called "The Summer of My German Soldier" with Kristy McNichol and Bruce Davidson which I didn't really understand until I was older. During my junior year in college I did a semester in Italy and would travel alone on the weekends and breaks. It was 1988 and I decided to go to Octoberfest in Munich by myself, and then travel to West Berlin (East and West were still divided). It was so creepy on the train because the train had to travel through East Germany to get to Berlin, so our passports had to be checked on the way. It was fine, and I ended up going through Check Point Charlie to check out East Berlin too, which was like going back in time about 40 years. In many ways I was more adventurous at 20 then I am at 57, but I'd love to go back to visit.
Thank you for taking the time to comment so fully, Amy. I remember that movie...more the title than the actual film...which is surprising because I did have a bit of a crush on Kristy McNichol! I definitely saw it. I remember reading the book by Bette Greene. I'm 63, and have never been to Europe, but my friend Ina and I have started talking about my making my way to Germany. I want to meet her family in person. I've Zoomed with them, and they are delicious people. What a world we've grown up in. I'm feeling somewhat melancholy today, on the first day of the new year. My rabbi talked about peace last night. I got sad and a little angry. Every year we come together, we pray for peace, we atone, we make resolutions of one kind or another, and very little changes, especially on the world stage. Oops...sorry, feeling those feelings! xo
I hear you Nan, and you never have to apologize to me for expressing your feelings. Since Steven (my husband) died I’ve started living and thinking smaller. By that I mean I concentrate on my own thoughts, feelings and actions more than globally because I can only change me. From what you’ve shared on Substack, I would say you have changed and grown a lot in the last few years. You’ve definitely put more love out into the world and I think that’s the best we can do on an individual level. Yes, some things do stay the same, and it’s awful. Still, we are doing our best to make positive change in the world and that’s not small potatoes.
I agree with you completely. So, in my meeting...we say a special version of the serenity prayer that really works for me and points me back in the direction I need to head in: [God] grant me the serenity to accept the people I can't change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is ME.
Shana Tovah to you too Nan, and I love the special version of the serenity prayer. I’m going to keep that one in my back pocket for tough times. 🥰🥰❤️❤️
I love this story of your overcoming a long-held fear and aversion, Nan, and it had such a sweet ending. And the video! "Mein chancellorette..." Too funny. 😂
This was really beautiful, Nan. Ina is lucky to have you as a sponsor, and it sounds like you’re lucky to have her as a sponsee. You two were definitely supposed to find each other.
Many layers to this healing story, Nan. I appreciate how you took us through them. What a gift that you worked through the deep anxiety and found new friendship and healing. It's inspiring. Your childhood photo, and the recent photos tell a story too. And the video, hilarious!
It seems so clearly meant to be, right? I love that this opportunity arose, that you wrestled with it and braved it, and that you were up front about it with Ina, too. I'm so glad this worked out and brought healing and friendship to you both. That fifth step though.... wow.
This was such a tender, generous read; filled with wisdom, wit & heart. As a fairly fearful child when it came to sleeping away from home, I so appreciate the sleep over story.
I struggled with an ED as a young teen & throughout college. Today, I rely on lots of compassionate witnessing to see me through rough patches.
🤗Love it!!🥰 It hits me as I read this that I happen to be traveling now-(& tho with my 91yr old Daddy, adult daughter, & husband in tow)- for a visit with my late mama’s family- sure enough-I’m the only one who’s brought her own pillow!😂🤗
Thank YOU for your generous comment. I sometimes find that I'm still nervous when I sleep away from home. I value my home turf immensely. The familiar is extremely soothing. When I travel, my soft familiar pillow comes with me, complete with a beloved flannel pillowcase. I laugh with good humor at myself and my habits and never apologize for being me!
I loved this, Nan. You’re all heart and anyone in your sphere is lucky for that. Including those of us who only know you through the screen. This was beautiful and that pic of the two of you was the icing on the cake! 🤍
I loved all the pics, but I was talking about the big one of you and Ina in the car, you can really see the love and excitement (I like the smaller ones, too, obviously, how could you not?!)
Oh, Nan, I love this so much. The love beams from your sweet faces. Thank you for the gift of your writing and your generosity.
Thank you, sweet Ellen. xoxo
I love this story. I long for a connection like that!!!! Thank you for taking me on that journey ❤️
Thank you for reading it, and commenting. It's been a wonderful experience for me, letting go of my old fears, beliefs to uncover a more satisfying way to live in the world. I'll be heading to Germany to visit in the spring. Ironic, that on my first trip to Europe, I'm starting with Germany! Very excited about going. xo
I absolutely loved this piece, Nan. I think it tapped on something that so many of us can relate to on a visceral level. Well done!
Thank you, Heidi (in her later years). I'm glad it was a good read for you. I hope you're right! xo
I can relate. My junior high offered three languages: Spanish, French, and German. I knew that only the first two were options. My grandparents escaped from Poland in 1939. My mom was too young to remember life before the war, but she came away with an instinctive negative reaction to anything German that she passed on.
Yup. I hear you. My family lost relatives in the war. I'm happy that at this point in my life I'm relieved of that nagging fear. Recovery work has helped me keep my life in perspective, and not obsess about the state of the world as it is in the way I used to. The world can be scary and I sometimes feel it, but I don't catastrophize or live in the future of my imagination. I stay are present as I can to each day. Makes a big difference to my peace of mind. xo
Shana Tova, Nan! I enjoyed reading about your healing this part of you that I can relate to as well. Xx
Thanks, Shelley! xo
I love this
Thank you, Kathleen! xo
What a great story Nan! I can relate to the fear of Germans as a young Jewish person with grandparents who lived through WWII. In 1978, when I was 11, there was a made for TV movie called "The Summer of My German Soldier" with Kristy McNichol and Bruce Davidson which I didn't really understand until I was older. During my junior year in college I did a semester in Italy and would travel alone on the weekends and breaks. It was 1988 and I decided to go to Octoberfest in Munich by myself, and then travel to West Berlin (East and West were still divided). It was so creepy on the train because the train had to travel through East Germany to get to Berlin, so our passports had to be checked on the way. It was fine, and I ended up going through Check Point Charlie to check out East Berlin too, which was like going back in time about 40 years. In many ways I was more adventurous at 20 then I am at 57, but I'd love to go back to visit.
Thank you for taking the time to comment so fully, Amy. I remember that movie...more the title than the actual film...which is surprising because I did have a bit of a crush on Kristy McNichol! I definitely saw it. I remember reading the book by Bette Greene. I'm 63, and have never been to Europe, but my friend Ina and I have started talking about my making my way to Germany. I want to meet her family in person. I've Zoomed with them, and they are delicious people. What a world we've grown up in. I'm feeling somewhat melancholy today, on the first day of the new year. My rabbi talked about peace last night. I got sad and a little angry. Every year we come together, we pray for peace, we atone, we make resolutions of one kind or another, and very little changes, especially on the world stage. Oops...sorry, feeling those feelings! xo
I hear you Nan, and you never have to apologize to me for expressing your feelings. Since Steven (my husband) died I’ve started living and thinking smaller. By that I mean I concentrate on my own thoughts, feelings and actions more than globally because I can only change me. From what you’ve shared on Substack, I would say you have changed and grown a lot in the last few years. You’ve definitely put more love out into the world and I think that’s the best we can do on an individual level. Yes, some things do stay the same, and it’s awful. Still, we are doing our best to make positive change in the world and that’s not small potatoes.
I agree with you completely. So, in my meeting...we say a special version of the serenity prayer that really works for me and points me back in the direction I need to head in: [God] grant me the serenity to accept the people I can't change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is ME.
Shana Tovah, Amy. xoxo
Shana Tovah to you too Nan, and I love the special version of the serenity prayer. I’m going to keep that one in my back pocket for tough times. 🥰🥰❤️❤️
💕💕💕
What a beautiful title @Nan Tepper .
Thanks, Jeannie!
I love this story of your overcoming a long-held fear and aversion, Nan, and it had such a sweet ending. And the video! "Mein chancellorette..." Too funny. 😂
Thank you, Troy. And yes, I do love that video! xo
This was really beautiful, Nan. Ina is lucky to have you as a sponsor, and it sounds like you’re lucky to have her as a sponsee. You two were definitely supposed to find each other.
Many layers to this healing story, Nan. I appreciate how you took us through them. What a gift that you worked through the deep anxiety and found new friendship and healing. It's inspiring. Your childhood photo, and the recent photos tell a story too. And the video, hilarious!
Thanks, Paulette! Yes, because life is messy! Love you! xoxo
Yes, life is messy. Love you back!
It seems so clearly meant to be, right? I love that this opportunity arose, that you wrestled with it and braved it, and that you were up front about it with Ina, too. I'm so glad this worked out and brought healing and friendship to you both. That fifth step though.... wow.
Yup. That 5th Step. It's a trip! xoxo
This was such a tender, generous read; filled with wisdom, wit & heart. As a fairly fearful child when it came to sleeping away from home, I so appreciate the sleep over story.
I struggled with an ED as a young teen & throughout college. Today, I rely on lots of compassionate witnessing to see me through rough patches.
🤗Love it!!🥰 It hits me as I read this that I happen to be traveling now-(& tho with my 91yr old Daddy, adult daughter, & husband in tow)- for a visit with my late mama’s family- sure enough-I’m the only one who’s brought her own pillow!😂🤗
Bouncy or feathery/downy? Memory foam? Synthetic filling? And what kind of pillowcase?
Thank YOU for your generous comment. I sometimes find that I'm still nervous when I sleep away from home. I value my home turf immensely. The familiar is extremely soothing. When I travel, my soft familiar pillow comes with me, complete with a beloved flannel pillowcase. I laugh with good humor at myself and my habits and never apologize for being me!
Lovely.
I do wonder more and more about epigenetics and anxiety. Whew.
It's a thing, for sure. I just know it is. It makes so much sense to me. xo
This is such a lovely story, Nan. ❤️
Thank you, Katrina! xo
I loved this, Nan. You’re all heart and anyone in your sphere is lucky for that. Including those of us who only know you through the screen. This was beautiful and that pic of the two of you was the icing on the cake! 🤍
Thank you, Ally! I just love you.
Which pic? The one of me and Bethany (and Frisky the Hamster)? Or the ones of me and Ina?
I hope one of these days you and I will meet in person...xo
And I hope to meet you in person, too!! Xoxox
I loved all the pics, but I was talking about the big one of you and Ina in the car, you can really see the love and excitement (I like the smaller ones, too, obviously, how could you not?!)
xoxo!