On January 17, 2024 I signed a deed for a small plot of virtual real estate in a corner, my corner of Substackland. I was excited, nervous, and mostly wondering how I had the nerve to call myself a writer and set a goal to write and publish an essay every week.
I did it on a dare (to myself). I did it as an experiment. I did it to finally own and express the part of me that always wanted to be a writer but was terrified to try.
I started with 25 subscribers, all people I knew, the ones who loved me already. My list has grown to over 2500 readers and I’m a Substack Bestseller. Being on the platform has been completely life-changing for me. Not only have I fulfilled my commitment, I started a new business here, Style Your Stack. I help other writers put themselves out there by making their stacks look beautiful.
AND, today, I’m launching the project of my dreams, the one I had in mind from the minute the ink dried on my new deed. I wanted to produce and host a feminist story slam, but I knew I had to wait and build relationships with other writers. I had to learn what might be possible, and most importantly, I had to learn that it was okay for me trust myself and put energy into my dreams, to make them real.
To state a clear goal, ask for help. To be afraid, and doit anyway.
I’ve spent my life in a role of serving others. I did it from a subservient place. I was the cheerleader, the wind beneath people’s wings, the behind-the-scenes helper. I shined a light on others while remaining in shadow, hidden from the world, hiding from myself. Not anymore.
The last two years have been an unfolding. I’ve met my true self. I’m realizing my worth, the contribution I have to make, and my responsibility to make it, and not just sit and think about it. Mulling doesn’t accomplish a thing.
I am a woman in action and I want to help change this world. This project is my form of activism and the timing is perfect because I’ve just entered my terrible twos! A perfect time to make good trouble. So, I have to show up, speak my mind, make my plans, follow-through, and shift gears if things need fixing.
The world is fraught right now. More frightening than I’ve ever experienced. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the ugliness that’s all around us. I let myself feel overwhelmed for a minute or two, and then I do the next RIGHT things, and those things?
Living from a place of JOY, LOVE and CREATIVITY.
These are hard times, and I refuse to suffer through them, terrified and small. That takes a daily commitment to life, to love, and to laughter. Connection. I’ve built a beautiful family in this community. That’s the biggest gift I can imagine. I’m truly blessed. It didn’t happen magically. I reached out, over and over. I stopped hiding.
I want to take all of you with me everywhere I go. I want to share my creative projects so you know they exist. I want you to come play, if it appeals.
I have lots to do today, to get ready for the first event offered by my new stack, Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam! The theme for the slam this month is My Body, My Rules.
The slams happen once a month, and feature women storytellers who publish on Substack. If you haven’t checked it out yet, give it a look. There are still a few seats available for today’s show if you’d like to attend.
I’m still a helper. I’ll always be a helper. It’s in my nature, and I love that part of myself. But now, I take care of myself in all the good ways before reaching out to help someone else. It’s better that way, because it means I love myself.
Thank you for what given me these last couple of years; your attention, your comments, and your trust. That’s the very best thing of all.
xoNan
