Listen now | That question is a nod to my history of eating behaviors, my “dieting” behaviors, my “I’m going to find the cure to my food issues” behaviors.
What an incredibly relatable and super helpful share 😍 yes joy is an important element of nourishing ourselves and I need to remember that- otherwise it can come back to bite me
“Stopping when I’m moderately full” - it is still a high bar for me sometimes and yet I realized it’s a lot less about restraining and more about being present with what feelings i was trying to push down & swallow with my food, that’s the real practice i hope to incorporate 🙏
That sounds great. I like the practice of stopping when I'm moderately full. I've always been good at that. It's grazing all day long, and eating foods like SUGAR that is my problem. I use sugar to medicate my feelings, comfort myself in the short term while not asking myself why I need to comfort myself in the first place. Mindfulness and balance is the key for me. xo.
Nan, belated happy birthday! This was such an incredible post, and I couldn’t be happier for you being happy with yourself just as you are. I am glad you have found an approach to recovery that is working for you. To have let go of that ‘thinner is better’ ball-and-chain is huge!! To no longer think in terms of food restriction is huge. I wonder if you are following Glennon Doyle’s quite vulnerable episodes on ‘We Can Do Hard Things’ about her breakthroughs since last year after decades of disordered eating. Maybe something there would resonate with you as it seems her therapeutic approach is aligned with your current recovery group. And while I don’t have the clinical disordered eating & body dysmorphia, like so many women I have agonized over my body weight my whole life, lost and gained weight multiple times, restricted eating in so many ways, fell victim to conditioning that ‘thinner is better’ and even now at 64 (and welcome to the club, friend!), I am still vulnerable to these behaviors and thoughts. Not as much as I have in the past, but being happy with my body just as it is—that’s a work in progress. When you write so honestly about your journey it helps so many of us feel seen, too. May you have lots of joy around food and shared meals because I agree, food is a love language and I refuse to relinquish that.💗
McCartney needs to write another birthday song as we get older, I think. I do love the 64 song and sang it every day of my 64th birthday week until I noticed people were avoiding me.
Congrats to you for finding something that is helping. We are all rooting for you. Please continue to write about this. I think it applies to all of our different addictions.
Happy birthday! Thx for sharing your trials and tribulations with food. I’m glad you found freedom from the plate.
I haven’t eaten soy, gluten, corn, dairy, msg, caffeine, alcohol and processed sugar in 10 years due to reactions from these foods. I feel a different kind of freedom but freedom all the same. 🥰👏
Oh, I'm still an absolute work in progress! I wrote a piece recently called A Shot in the Arm, which is an update of where I'm at in my food recovery. It's a long road for me. Freedom is fabulous! I'm on my way. xo
Happy birthday to you! I appreciate the way you share honestly and openly about something so tender and vulnerable. It matters very much. Hope you had a lovely birthday!
This speaks to my soul! You are an absolute hero. I relate to everything you said so hard. I’m working with my therapist now on eating disorders and may need to find a similar program. I’m in a healthier place with food but still obsess over it. I love the idea of finding balance. Thank you and happy birthday dear friend.
Thanks, lovely Lyns! Balance is so key to everything. No more living in black and white extremes for me. A lot of people say they now live in the gray, instead. I don't live in the gray. I live in the rainbow! Love you, sweetie! And if you ever want to hear more about my program, hit me up! xo
Well, here you go, Nan, making sense once again out of disorder. And not using the "thin is better: yardstick, which I used 50 years ago when it might have killed me, is a healthy demonstration that you are not a slave. A slave to all the "I can't eats." A slave to all the "Oh, what the hell. I'll starve myself tomorrows." A slave to "Please don't serve carbs cuz youy know I can't eat thems.": (Who would ever be that narcisistc?) You can listen to your body now, and recognize the feleing of fullness. You can stop there. You understand the need for balance (in all things!). You are not a slave to the red carpet idea of beauty or a week of nothing but grapefruit. That's not freedom; that's madness. You are free to listen to your gut and give yourself what you need to live well. That's freedom.
Wonderful post Nan - wishing you the happiest of birthdays! And thanks for that wonderful romp with the Beatles - been a long time since I saw it. Xoxox
What a fabulous song to celebrate your birthday. I’ve never seen that video and thoroughly enjoyed it!
A very happy birthday to you, and there’s no better gift than the gift of self love ♥️
Wonderful writing as usual. I connect to what you write about in such a different way and see myself in things you’ve said. Perhaps should be a piece I should do too, my relationship with food 🤔
Love those wishes! Missed you today. I'm completely writer's blocked today. I'm going to let it be. I kind of know what I write about, but it's a subject that's very sensitive and I don't feel like going there today. xo
"Eating healthy when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m moderately full."
Ya, it's the stopping part that got me. I couldn't stop. Wouldn't stop. The hole I was trying to fill never filled up. Even when my stomach was bursting with pain from being too full, I didn't stop.
Disordered eating is hard. Being a workaholic was much easier in comparison. And, you got lauded for it! When I realized I had just traded one addiction for another, it was a major wake up call and I reached out for the help before it got too far away on me. (As opposed to the workaholism that I let run my life for decades before it almost killed me.)
First: yesterday I said happy birthday so I wouldn’t forget—so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY on your birthday 🎂. There we are!
Food is nourishment ♥️
What was I not eating: for 6 years I didn’t eat Red Vines licorice. Hard core! I was part of this online group and personal fitness group. It was accountability! But sometimes, I’ll have a craving and I’ll get one.
The 12-step programs are the ultimate help.
I struggled with the concept of HP (Higher Power) since I used to pray to god and my prayers weren’t answered.
What I think is enlightening, instead, is a higher purpose. What a gift.
Thank you!
I have a “helper” and it’s Semaglutide. I am all about getting all the help I can.
Oh, thanks Tess, especially about the recordings. I just started tirzepatide if you didn’t see Wednesday’s post. I’m feeling pretty amazing. Love you, sweetie!
The only side effect I'm experiencing is some dry mouth. So far, so good. I'm very pleased. I even exercised a little today. Haven't done that in a long time!
Happy birthday! Aside from calorie restriction, in the past the only diet I followed that focused on not eating or eating particular foods was the carb addict diet. I couldn’t do total low carb, but carb addict allowed a one hour window every day where you could eat whatever you wanted. The other meals I mainly ate salads and meat. But for one hour I would eat my favorite carbs, pizza, dessert, etc. I did lose weight on it, and even discovered the longer I did it the less of the “good stuff” I ate because I just wasn’t as hungry. But it wasn’t sustainable for me. I couldn’t stick to it. Not allowing myself foods I like just causes me to eventually binge. At this point, I allow myself to eat anything I want. But I try to eat it in smaller quantities. I’m noticing these days more in regard to psychological triggers and issues. For example, even though chocolate tastes weird to me sometimes (related to having had covid) I still eat it. Even though I don’t enjoy it as much. Food issues are so weird.
"Every day I’m learning something new about myself and the changes have been monumental. I’m finding forgiveness for myself and others, letting go of resentments I’ve held on to for years. My anger has diminished and my road rage seems to have disappeared entirely. I feel grounded and connected."
What an incredibly relatable and super helpful share 😍 yes joy is an important element of nourishing ourselves and I need to remember that- otherwise it can come back to bite me
Enjoy your food! It's amazing how easily we forget. Thanks for reading and commenting, Shifra!
“Stopping when I’m moderately full” - it is still a high bar for me sometimes and yet I realized it’s a lot less about restraining and more about being present with what feelings i was trying to push down & swallow with my food, that’s the real practice i hope to incorporate 🙏
That sounds great. I like the practice of stopping when I'm moderately full. I've always been good at that. It's grazing all day long, and eating foods like SUGAR that is my problem. I use sugar to medicate my feelings, comfort myself in the short term while not asking myself why I need to comfort myself in the first place. Mindfulness and balance is the key for me. xo.
Nan, belated happy birthday! This was such an incredible post, and I couldn’t be happier for you being happy with yourself just as you are. I am glad you have found an approach to recovery that is working for you. To have let go of that ‘thinner is better’ ball-and-chain is huge!! To no longer think in terms of food restriction is huge. I wonder if you are following Glennon Doyle’s quite vulnerable episodes on ‘We Can Do Hard Things’ about her breakthroughs since last year after decades of disordered eating. Maybe something there would resonate with you as it seems her therapeutic approach is aligned with your current recovery group. And while I don’t have the clinical disordered eating & body dysmorphia, like so many women I have agonized over my body weight my whole life, lost and gained weight multiple times, restricted eating in so many ways, fell victim to conditioning that ‘thinner is better’ and even now at 64 (and welcome to the club, friend!), I am still vulnerable to these behaviors and thoughts. Not as much as I have in the past, but being happy with my body just as it is—that’s a work in progress. When you write so honestly about your journey it helps so many of us feel seen, too. May you have lots of joy around food and shared meals because I agree, food is a love language and I refuse to relinquish that.💗
McCartney needs to write another birthday song as we get older, I think. I do love the 64 song and sang it every day of my 64th birthday week until I noticed people were avoiding me.
Congrats to you for finding something that is helping. We are all rooting for you. Please continue to write about this. I think it applies to all of our different addictions.
Happy Birthday!
Thanks, it is my plan to keep writing. About all the things. xo
Happy birthday! Thx for sharing your trials and tribulations with food. I’m glad you found freedom from the plate.
I haven’t eaten soy, gluten, corn, dairy, msg, caffeine, alcohol and processed sugar in 10 years due to reactions from these foods. I feel a different kind of freedom but freedom all the same. 🥰👏
Oh, I'm still an absolute work in progress! I wrote a piece recently called A Shot in the Arm, which is an update of where I'm at in my food recovery. It's a long road for me. Freedom is fabulous! I'm on my way. xo
Happy birthday to you! I appreciate the way you share honestly and openly about something so tender and vulnerable. It matters very much. Hope you had a lovely birthday!
Thank you, Erin! xo
This speaks to my soul! You are an absolute hero. I relate to everything you said so hard. I’m working with my therapist now on eating disorders and may need to find a similar program. I’m in a healthier place with food but still obsess over it. I love the idea of finding balance. Thank you and happy birthday dear friend.
Thanks, lovely Lyns! Balance is so key to everything. No more living in black and white extremes for me. A lot of people say they now live in the gray, instead. I don't live in the gray. I live in the rainbow! Love you, sweetie! And if you ever want to hear more about my program, hit me up! xo
You live in the rainbow! 😍 I love that. Will do
Well, here you go, Nan, making sense once again out of disorder. And not using the "thin is better: yardstick, which I used 50 years ago when it might have killed me, is a healthy demonstration that you are not a slave. A slave to all the "I can't eats." A slave to all the "Oh, what the hell. I'll starve myself tomorrows." A slave to "Please don't serve carbs cuz youy know I can't eat thems.": (Who would ever be that narcisistc?) You can listen to your body now, and recognize the feleing of fullness. You can stop there. You understand the need for balance (in all things!). You are not a slave to the red carpet idea of beauty or a week of nothing but grapefruit. That's not freedom; that's madness. You are free to listen to your gut and give yourself what you need to live well. That's freedom.
I'm working on it, that's for sure! XO
Wonderful post Nan - wishing you the happiest of birthdays! And thanks for that wonderful romp with the Beatles - been a long time since I saw it. Xoxox
Thanks, Mary Anne. It's been a great day! xo
What a fabulous song to celebrate your birthday. I’ve never seen that video and thoroughly enjoyed it!
A very happy birthday to you, and there’s no better gift than the gift of self love ♥️
Wonderful writing as usual. I connect to what you write about in such a different way and see myself in things you’ve said. Perhaps should be a piece I should do too, my relationship with food 🤔
Go for it! Write the piece. xo
You’re giving me so many writing ideas of late Nan! Best get my laptop out and get a typing 💻
I can so relate to this complication around food. And yes, food is a love language, l love breaking bread 🥖 with friends ❤️🙏🍲
Me too. Thanks for the comment, Simone. xo
Happy Happy Birthday! May your body be liberated and your incredible writing continue forever! (Okay, that last part was for me. 😘)
I do know. Thanks. It just feels weird not to write on a Saturday.
Love those wishes! Missed you today. I'm completely writer's blocked today. I'm going to let it be. I kind of know what I write about, but it's a subject that's very sensitive and I don't feel like going there today. xo
Choice of the birthday girl! And if you know, you know, and it will come back around on a day when vulnerability feels like a better option. 😘
"Eating healthy when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m moderately full."
Ya, it's the stopping part that got me. I couldn't stop. Wouldn't stop. The hole I was trying to fill never filled up. Even when my stomach was bursting with pain from being too full, I didn't stop.
Disordered eating is hard. Being a workaholic was much easier in comparison. And, you got lauded for it! When I realized I had just traded one addiction for another, it was a major wake up call and I reached out for the help before it got too far away on me. (As opposed to the workaholism that I let run my life for decades before it almost killed me.)
Happy Birthday to YOU!! xo
LOVE you, Kim! And thank you. I'm glad you've been doing such great self-care. xo
First: yesterday I said happy birthday so I wouldn’t forget—so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY on your birthday 🎂. There we are!
Food is nourishment ♥️
What was I not eating: for 6 years I didn’t eat Red Vines licorice. Hard core! I was part of this online group and personal fitness group. It was accountability! But sometimes, I’ll have a craving and I’ll get one.
The 12-step programs are the ultimate help.
I struggled with the concept of HP (Higher Power) since I used to pray to god and my prayers weren’t answered.
What I think is enlightening, instead, is a higher purpose. What a gift.
Thank you!
I have a “helper” and it’s Semaglutide. I am all about getting all the help I can.
And nowwwwww I am eating mindfully.
—> Your recordings are sounding lovely!!
Oh, thanks Tess, especially about the recordings. I just started tirzepatide if you didn’t see Wednesday’s post. I’m feeling pretty amazing. Love you, sweetie!
Glad you’re not having side effects! A blessing - and will give it a read!
The only side effect I'm experiencing is some dry mouth. So far, so good. I'm very pleased. I even exercised a little today. Haven't done that in a long time!
Happy birthday! Aside from calorie restriction, in the past the only diet I followed that focused on not eating or eating particular foods was the carb addict diet. I couldn’t do total low carb, but carb addict allowed a one hour window every day where you could eat whatever you wanted. The other meals I mainly ate salads and meat. But for one hour I would eat my favorite carbs, pizza, dessert, etc. I did lose weight on it, and even discovered the longer I did it the less of the “good stuff” I ate because I just wasn’t as hungry. But it wasn’t sustainable for me. I couldn’t stick to it. Not allowing myself foods I like just causes me to eventually binge. At this point, I allow myself to eat anything I want. But I try to eat it in smaller quantities. I’m noticing these days more in regard to psychological triggers and issues. For example, even though chocolate tastes weird to me sometimes (related to having had covid) I still eat it. Even though I don’t enjoy it as much. Food issues are so weird.
Food issues are that exactly. Weird. xo
Happy Birthday, Dear Nan!
And Kudos! Look what you've done --
"Every day I’m learning something new about myself and the changes have been monumental. I’m finding forgiveness for myself and others, letting go of resentments I’ve held on to for years. My anger has diminished and my road rage seems to have disappeared entirely. I feel grounded and connected."
These achievements elude so many. Not you.
Thanks, Kim! Have to keep doing the work though. It's a daily commitment. Sometimes it's more challenging than not. xo
Cheering you on from the sidelines to dietary sanity.
Thanks, Jay! xo