22 Comments

Nan, this overvaluation of our physicality is at the core of our self-loathing of our bodies and ourselves. Thank you for sharing, you've given me the courage to share mine.

I bet you can imagine the layers with being a woman at 6'5" tall, having lost and gained more than several people 😂

Looking forward to reading more. Let's thank brilliant Substack goddesses for bringing us together.

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Thanks, Donna! Yes, I looked at your profile and saw that you mention your height. I'm sure that's been challenging in your lifetime. I love that you are declaring yourself. Thank you for reading, commenting, and joining me here! xo

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Beautifully expressed, and *very* relatable.

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Thank you! xo

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A lot to carry on a size 0 frame. But here you are.

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Thanks for reading, Rona.

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You brought tears to my eyes. So beautifully expressed!

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Thank you Sharon. xoxo

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I had no idea you worked at the Coffee Shop. It's very possible we crossed paths in the 80s. I guess I've imagined that you always lived in Woodstock. As if people don't have lives before I've met them. Love your writing, and I get it. I have photos of me when I was a size 8, and I was emaciated, but I have to say, I still look at that photo and love it a little. Of course part of it is that I was thirty years younger, too.....

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I hear that, Jodi, about looking back. There’s still that longing sometimes but it’s not as strong because at some point I looked at my photos, at my skinny, skinny arms and the pointy angles my body made and I wanted to see curves. I saw what didn’t look right. And I began to understand that I wasn’t okay back then.

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I hated Loehmann's. I dreaded going there with my mother and the publicity of the trying-on experience. Body shame comes in all shapes and sizes as you know. Another place I hated was Orbach's, also a public dressing room for bargains. You bring back memories, Nan. xoxo

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Oh, I remember Orbach's. Somehow the memories aren't as intense for me. We shopped there too. And yes, body shame does come in all shapes and sizes. I can only really speak to my own, and I hear you! xoxo

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So so good, this! Brava, Nan!! You are SOMETHING!!!♥️

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Thank you, Ellen! xoxo

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So powerful, Nan. Thank you for sharing.

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Thank you, Meryl!

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This essay brought back so many memories for me. Bonwit Teller and communal dressing rooms! I had not thought of either for a very long time. Thanks for framing your experience beautifully here- a great essay about the things we put ourselves through - and I absolutely loved the ending.

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Thanks Dina!

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Wow. WowWowWow!!! This piece is so layered--moving on a personal level, and spot-on critique on a cultural/societal level. When it moves to your understanding of and empathy toward the women praising you for your skeletal achievement, it goes turbo. Also the way you use the title/metaphor throughout to your brilliant conclusion. Masterful. I love it!!!

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Thank you, my dear. Your support means so much to me. xoxo

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I can relate to so much of this. For me it was thinking that if I could just do one thing right,the weight,everything else would magically be OK. It wasn't. Thank you for bravely remembering this frightening time and writing about it so eloquently. Marguerite

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Thanks, Marguerite! For reading, and commenting.

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