Finding clothing that fit, and looked good on me, was hard enough. Having to do it in front of a room full of partially naked women was more than I could bear.
Nan, this overvaluation of our physicality is at the core of our self-loathing of our bodies and ourselves. Thank you for sharing, you've given me the courage to share mine.
I bet you can imagine the layers with being a woman at 6'5" tall, having lost and gained more than several people 😂
Looking forward to reading more. Let's thank brilliant Substack goddesses for bringing us together.
Thanks, Donna! Yes, I looked at your profile and saw that you mention your height. I'm sure that's been challenging in your lifetime. I love that you are declaring yourself. Thank you for reading, commenting, and joining me here! xo
I had no idea you worked at the Coffee Shop. It's very possible we crossed paths in the 80s. I guess I've imagined that you always lived in Woodstock. As if people don't have lives before I've met them. Love your writing, and I get it. I have photos of me when I was a size 8, and I was emaciated, but I have to say, I still look at that photo and love it a little. Of course part of it is that I was thirty years younger, too.....
I hear that, Jodi, about looking back. There’s still that longing sometimes but it’s not as strong because at some point I looked at my photos, at my skinny, skinny arms and the pointy angles my body made and I wanted to see curves. I saw what didn’t look right. And I began to understand that I wasn’t okay back then.
I hated Loehmann's. I dreaded going there with my mother and the publicity of the trying-on experience. Body shame comes in all shapes and sizes as you know. Another place I hated was Orbach's, also a public dressing room for bargains. You bring back memories, Nan. xoxo
Oh, I remember Orbach's. Somehow the memories aren't as intense for me. We shopped there too. And yes, body shame does come in all shapes and sizes. I can only really speak to my own, and I hear you! xoxo
This essay brought back so many memories for me. Bonwit Teller and communal dressing rooms! I had not thought of either for a very long time. Thanks for framing your experience beautifully here- a great essay about the things we put ourselves through - and I absolutely loved the ending.
Wow. WowWowWow!!! This piece is so layered--moving on a personal level, and spot-on critique on a cultural/societal level. When it moves to your understanding of and empathy toward the women praising you for your skeletal achievement, it goes turbo. Also the way you use the title/metaphor throughout to your brilliant conclusion. Masterful. I love it!!!
I can relate to so much of this. For me it was thinking that if I could just do one thing right,the weight,everything else would magically be OK. It wasn't. Thank you for bravely remembering this frightening time and writing about it so eloquently. Marguerite
Nan, this overvaluation of our physicality is at the core of our self-loathing of our bodies and ourselves. Thank you for sharing, you've given me the courage to share mine.
I bet you can imagine the layers with being a woman at 6'5" tall, having lost and gained more than several people 😂
Looking forward to reading more. Let's thank brilliant Substack goddesses for bringing us together.
Thanks, Donna! Yes, I looked at your profile and saw that you mention your height. I'm sure that's been challenging in your lifetime. I love that you are declaring yourself. Thank you for reading, commenting, and joining me here! xo
Beautifully expressed, and *very* relatable.
Thank you! xo
A lot to carry on a size 0 frame. But here you are.
Thanks for reading, Rona.
You brought tears to my eyes. So beautifully expressed!
Thank you Sharon. xoxo
I had no idea you worked at the Coffee Shop. It's very possible we crossed paths in the 80s. I guess I've imagined that you always lived in Woodstock. As if people don't have lives before I've met them. Love your writing, and I get it. I have photos of me when I was a size 8, and I was emaciated, but I have to say, I still look at that photo and love it a little. Of course part of it is that I was thirty years younger, too.....
I hear that, Jodi, about looking back. There’s still that longing sometimes but it’s not as strong because at some point I looked at my photos, at my skinny, skinny arms and the pointy angles my body made and I wanted to see curves. I saw what didn’t look right. And I began to understand that I wasn’t okay back then.
I hated Loehmann's. I dreaded going there with my mother and the publicity of the trying-on experience. Body shame comes in all shapes and sizes as you know. Another place I hated was Orbach's, also a public dressing room for bargains. You bring back memories, Nan. xoxo
Oh, I remember Orbach's. Somehow the memories aren't as intense for me. We shopped there too. And yes, body shame does come in all shapes and sizes. I can only really speak to my own, and I hear you! xoxo
So so good, this! Brava, Nan!! You are SOMETHING!!!♥️
Thank you, Ellen! xoxo
So powerful, Nan. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Meryl!
This essay brought back so many memories for me. Bonwit Teller and communal dressing rooms! I had not thought of either for a very long time. Thanks for framing your experience beautifully here- a great essay about the things we put ourselves through - and I absolutely loved the ending.
Thanks Dina!
Wow. WowWowWow!!! This piece is so layered--moving on a personal level, and spot-on critique on a cultural/societal level. When it moves to your understanding of and empathy toward the women praising you for your skeletal achievement, it goes turbo. Also the way you use the title/metaphor throughout to your brilliant conclusion. Masterful. I love it!!!
Thank you, my dear. Your support means so much to me. xoxo
I can relate to so much of this. For me it was thinking that if I could just do one thing right,the weight,everything else would magically be OK. It wasn't. Thank you for bravely remembering this frightening time and writing about it so eloquently. Marguerite
Thanks, Marguerite! For reading, and commenting.